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Hello everyone. I'm jinx. I'm new. I wanna post an article abt female circumcision among bohri women which I recently read on net. let me see wether I still have the url for it, anyway.....<p>Victim of Crime<br>---------------<br>I was seven years old and very excited. My mother was taking me to a party. She had dressed me up in beautiful clothes, had told me about all the new friends I was going to meet and how much fun I was going to have. Full of anticipation, I just couldn't wait.<p>"But when we arrived at the house, I knew that something was wrong. There was only one old Bohri woman to greet us at the door, and she was all dressed in white - so I knew she was in mourning. My excitement gave way to puzzlement. I began to get the feeling that this was not going to be a pleasant experience at all.<p>"It was dark inside. Where were all the other children? It didn't look at all like there was going to be a party. By now, I felt thoroughly uncomfortable, but my mother told me to wait until the other girls came and that she would be back to pick me up later. I started crying because I didn't want to be left alone with that grim old woman. I hung on tight to my mother but she tried to reassure me, telling me not to worry, released herself from my grip, and went away.<p>" As soon as the left, the old woman told me to take off my underwear. I was shocked. Remove my underwear! What for? That really frightened me. Then she pulled me down to the floor, yelling and wailing, sat me on her lap and held me down tight with her legs. That's my strongest memory - her legs holding me like a vice. "Then she did what she had to do. No, I have no idea what she did. I only know that I wanted to get away from her. And my over-riding emotion was shock - that my mother had brought me here for this and left me all alone. I kept wondering where the other girls were and why they hadn't come yet.<p>"I can only remember the shame and indignation, but have no memory of the pain - it must have been extremely painful. I have probably blocked it out from my memory. I didn't know if she had an instrument in her hand, what it was, or anything. But there was blood, and, suddenly, a wad of cotton-wool was stuffed into my underwear around the vaginal area. Then she told me to wait for my mother.<p>"And my mother arrived late. What was more horrifying was that she wasn't alone. There were some friends and neighbours with her, who began congratulating me. I was taken for a ride in a 'tonga' and given ice cream, balloons and toys. It seemed to be a community celebration. (Yes, even at that age, I associated it with a community event. I had friends who were not Bohris, and could tell the difference).<p>"When I got home, my father took me in his arms and congratulated me. I'd always got along better with my father. And his reaction upset me terribly. After all I'd been through, I felt totally let down by him. I expected my father to be sympathetic and understanding.<p>"There was never any question of using sterilised instruments. But no, I had no infections or anything, then or thereafter. Except that going to the toilet was extremely painful. It happened during my holidays and I had to move around without my underwear.<p>"For seven to nine days after the operation, I had to wash myself with warm water every time I urinated. In anycase, we Bohris recite a small prayer every time we wash ourselves after urinating. This takes a few minutes, so, hygienically, I suppose that took care of it.<p>"After some months, a party was held in my honour. It was a big family get-together. I don't remember too much about the celebrations. The picture in my mind is of the 'tonga', the toys, the balloons, the woman and that room. Every time I pass by that area, the whole thing comes back to me.<p>"For many years after that I didn't think about it. I never wondered about what had been done to me or how it would affect my life. But affect my llife it did, in ways irredeemable.<p>"When I grew older, at the age when you start discussing these things with friends and trying to find out all about sex, I was told by my friends that this operation is done to us to increase our sexual capacity, to enable us to satisfy the men of our community. The Bohri men also had to undergo circumcision, which is supposed to make us sexually compatible.<p>"I got this information from friends of the same community, girls like myself who had been through the same operation under similar circumstances. Apparently, all Bohri girls go through this - unaware of what's going to happen to us; and never told that we're going to a doctor, to be put through some kind of surgery.<p>"Some of my friends seemed to think that the operation involved a cut or slit in the vagina, and was done to us so that we would have no problems with our periods. It was generally considered to be beneficial in some way or other, and, as I said, many believed that it would enhance sexuality. Now, of course, some people tell me that it's the other way around, that damage to the clitoris can completely ruin a woman's sex life.<p>"No, I have no problems with sex - my husband and I are compatible. I don't know what has been removed, or if anything has. After all, the person who did the operation was not a doctor. She wasn't even a quack! She was just one of the few expert women in the community who everybody took their little girls to.<p>"The worst effect my circumcision has had on me was that it damaged my relationship with my mother forever. It wasn't very strong in any case. It made me reject her totally. She herself never did anything to improve the relationship. Maybe it's because of the differences in our personalities - but we just haven't been able to relate to each other. That was especially evident when I had to, later, take care of her. Things were unbearable between us. I found that I would turn into a really horrible person while dealing with her. I tried to resolve the issue though, by attending a series of workshops.<p>"She herself had had a very difficult childhood and I understand now that that's why she is what she is. I don't blame her any more. But, at the time, our strained relationship, which culminated in the circumcision, affected my development tremendously.<p>"I was a very, very, inhibited and withdrawn child. I had no friends and would sit by myself for hours together, sometimes reading, unable to go out and mix with the other girls during recess at school. My father did all he could. He made me join the cadets and sent me on school tours. I had to really work very hard with myself to change.<p>"I'm a different person now. With my husband, things are beautiful. We are very comfortable with one another. But I know that many of my friends haven't been able to come out of it.<p>"What really angers me today is that some of my friends have got their little girls circumcised too. What's worse is that they did it without informing their children - the same way that it was done to them. Even one of my doctor friend's has put her daughter through it. I don't know whether it was taken care of by a quack or a proper doctor. In any case, no sane doctor would do something like this. And those who were frightened, entrusted the job to their mothers-in-law. "Yes, some of them have got it done becuase of in-laws' pressure. Others have lied, said they'd like to do it at their mother's place and have come back without having it done, but going ahead with the party and all the congratulatory ceremonies all the same!<p>"No, of course I didn't put my daughter through it! Even if I had married a Bohri, I'd never have done that.<p>"Recently, I had to go through a hysterectomy. I was quite concerned that this would be the end of my sex life. And as my gynaecologist was telling me about the operation, I decided to ask about what had happened to me all those years ago.<p>"I asked the doctor whether he could make out what the operation had done to me, whether there was any part that had been removed or interfered with. But there was no evidence at all. It's possible that it had been a simple cut, which, in course of time had healed by itself. (All that trauma has been for nothing!) "Today, I fail to understand the purpose of that traumatic experience. Why put hundreds of our girls through it? And that too, at an age at which they carry the memory all their lives.<p>"I've told my story now after all these years, but I admit that I've done so after a great deal of deliberation. I have wanted to do it for some time now, but hadn't, because my courage failed me. Even now, having spoken about it under conditions of complete anonymity, I feel I've taken a tremendous risk. The leaders of our community will make enquiries. They may even manage to trace me. I'm not so worried about the consequences where I'm concerned. But I do worry about my mother. If they find out, she will have to face painful social ostracisation. She may even be excommunicated. At her age and in her condition, that's certainly not something I want to be responsible for."<br> <br> <br>

[Guest]

THERE IS A FEMALE BOHRI DOCTOR IN HONG KONG OR SINGAPORE (SOMEWHERE IN THE ORIENT) THAT TRAVELS AROUND THE WORLD DOING THESE FEMALE CIRCUMCISIONS TO BOHRI GIRLS. IN MOST CASES THESE ARE DONE IN A SECRETIVE MANNER.<p>IS THERE ANYTHING WE CAN DO TO STOP HER?<br>

[Guest]

Report her to the authorities!

[Guest]

Jinx I must congratulate you for the fact that you have had the courage to share your story with us. When I finished reading your story I was in shock and needed a few minutes just to pull together. What mother would do such a thing to a child. It is awful Of course it would affect your relationship with your mother. However do not carry any guilt for that reason. My girls will never go through this cruel procedure and I make my promise to you. Although I do not know you I feel I know you. Thanks once again for sharing. I wish and pray that our women become educated and get away from this nonsense.

[Guest]

observer, maybe i didnt make it quite clear from my earlier post, but I am not the author of that article. I took it from the website http://www.sparshbazaar.com/ts_victim.html . Most of bohri girl have similiar experince. <br>alsojinxed, nice nickname ). didnt hear abt a special female doctor performing circumcisions. Some elderly women in the community who is experince handle this matter. Those are not doctors as far as I know. But maybe you know something which I dont know. Anyway, I think it is not such a complex procedure, any midwife can do it.

[Guest]

jinx,<p>this doctor is an elderly woman of the community and is very often whisked away to places like Yemen to perform the deeds in mass - like a production line.<p>But I am sure it also happens in peoples homes in other countries also