New Rules..!!

The one and only free public forum for Bohras. The focus of this forum is the reform movement, the Dawoodi Bohra faith and, of course, the corrupt priesthood. But the discussion is in no way restricted to the Bohras alone.
Al Zulfiqar
Posts: 4609
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 5:01 am

Re: New Rules..!!

#271

Unread post by Al Zulfiqar » Tue Sep 09, 2014 4:31 pm

rule no 67.
our aqa and mola, our haqiqi kaaba, natiqe quran, haq na saheb, aali qadr aqeequl yemen mufatlal has bestowed with beshumaar ehsan and barakat the amazing neamat upon all his abdesyedna momeen, that from now on they can dance inside the markaz/masjids. the clarification i have recd from deep throat on this shocking development is actually quite simple. as it is commonly observed, momeen already dance in muharram when performing maatam. they move around in perfectly symmetrical circles and sway rhythmically, slowly moving a step at a time and bend downwards and upwards, all the while beating themselves in the ritual of self-flagellation. now this practice has been established since last several decades and is well-entrenched in the bohra psyche'. where the major concession has been granted by mufatlal is in the realm of dancing on other occasions, eg, receptions for zaada's commonly known as kadambosi's or khair maqdam's. salgirah jashans, ziyafats, valima's, khatna celeberations etc. and the most pleasant surprise and the biggest ehsaan is that this dancing can be performed just after navmiyu of the death of a close relative. mufatlal decided to shower his faithful momeneen with this azeem barakat just after his divine father passed away and he visited yemen where he danced in the company of his yemeni flock just outside the qubba's of the duat buried there.
there is only condition, this dancing is sanctioned only if you can rustle up a few yemeni's to be present on the occasion (what the heck even just 1 yemeni will do) and naked drawn yemeni khanjars are brandished whilst performing the aerial movements. lusty ululations from momeenat spectators are recommended to spur on the vigor of the dancers. such is the nirali shaan of our ilah ul ardh, he sees far into the future and acts as per the needs of his abde farzando. so go ahead and shake a leg or two, display your choice yemeni dagger or sword and make merry folks.

rule no. 68.
another azeemushaan hadaya showered on ordinary abde momeen is something which will take your breath away. now on payment of a suitable fakhera rakam, any abde/amte or their naunihalo can have salawaat prayed on any of their deceased family member/s. the key word here is salawat, (not fateha) prayed for their dear departed soul. this ehsaan came about after the recent sanction from up high to start saying salawat on the ex-mola who recently took a one-way flight to meet with the hidden imam. this revolutionary departure from hitherto long established practice is a major concession. it is suspected that since it was declared by mufatlal at a bayan just after the ex mola's train left the station, that his father was now in the company of the hidden imam surrounded by the august panjatan paak, then its obvious that this completely new practice of reciting salawat on mortal, ordinary human sinners has been approved by the PP themselves under the divine intervention and persuasion of the ex mola himself. would the PP ever refuse their chosen rep, would they dare oppose his earnest request when allah himself dare not venture to admit an abde without mola's ruku chitthi???
so go ahead, be those very rare few among devout abdes who can have salawat recited on their parents, siblings etc. what can be a greater gift than being the offspring/close relative of one such honored?! it is rumoured at this stage, figures still have to fixed after much deliberation, but amounts may begin around 52 crores and above depending on the valvalo and resultant zalzalo of the dawoodi in question.

rule no. 69.
ever since the impending coronation of mufatlal was seen in hindu dreams and came to happy fruition later, mufatlal has decided to bestow beshumaar barakat on the sisters and womenfolk of that devout marwari of rajasthan who dreamt of this immaculate coronation and nassbandi on mufatlal a long while before it actually came to pass. mufatlal has kindly and most graciously agreed to honor these females by allowing them to tie rakhi on his divine wrists. this honor can also be extended to amte's provided they tie a rakhi of solid gold encrusted with precious stones. it is tradition that this bond between brother and sister is celebrated and consummated by the brother giving a valuable return gift to his now new 'sister' and protecting her for life. in mufatlal's case this provision will be waived, i.e. both the return gift and the protection. he cannot guarantee and consent to such impossible conditions imposed on his august personna.

more and exciting new rules and farmaans are in the offing. they will be unfurled as soon as they are conveyed by deep throat. i have some rough indication of their sensational nature, but it might be presumptous to reveal them prematurely. watch this space closely and with bated breath folks....


Al Zulfiqar
Posts: 4609
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 5:01 am

Re: New Rules..!!

#272

Unread post by Al Zulfiqar » Wed Sep 17, 2014 6:13 pm

the following rule has just been sanctioned into divine ravayat by the allah of ardh:

rule no. 70.

the past 2 dai's were veritably allah due to their association with the imam in satr and through him the panjatan paak and allah. ergo, dai=allah. QED! moreover the amount of dua's they did for their flock of sheep (this trumps any solid verifiable actions like the ones undertaken by the aga khan or mother teresa, abdus sattar edhi and such other minor do-gooders) qualifies them to be the holy of holy's. (please do not construe this to mean they are full of holes....astakferullah!)

what follows as an obvious fait accompli is that since they were holy, everything they touched became holy, everything that belonged to them is holy and has unbelievably amazing miraculous properties to heal, bring succour, joy, untold riches, palatial homes, wives for the single and hapless abde who wallows in lonely misery in the absence of a better half, beautify the unlucky amte unfortunately born with a complexion and features that leave a lot to be desired, etc etc.

this fact has been well-known from our rich and hoary past that articles owned and used by the last 2 dai's (+ the present one) were imbibed with mysterious powers and it is common among knowledgeable abde circles that this is indeed so, but no attempt has been made so far to harvest, organise and preserve all such divine articles. for the first time in our bohra taareekh, the present dai mufatlal, our haqiqi allah and kaaba, natiqe quran, haq na saheb, allah na dai ane panjatan paak na numainda, has passed a gracious ordinance that all the personal articles of the past 2 dai's be collected, catalogued, restored, categorised and arranged in a noorani maa'radh (expo or museum) suurounded by a heavenly garden - a hadiqatul mumeenat, landscaped lawns, flower and fruit orchards - that will shower spiritual solace and munificence upon the roohani collection.

thus all the past 2 dai's clothes, their baniyans, choonch wali topi's, paghdi's, underwear, langots, slippers, chakri's, shoes, sandals, hijars, walking sticks, roomal's, lungi's, musallas, sujni's, tasbeeh's, anguthi's, pehran na gold and precious stone buttons, spectacles, tooth brushes, unused or partially used toothpaste, combs, hair gels, broken or lost teeth, nail trimmings, furniture, viz, chairs, gaadi's, takiya's, bethak's, sofa's, thaals, kundli's, chilamchi lota's and even istinja na lota's, should be rounded up forthwith post-haste. a team of restoration experts well-versed in the art of bringing all old articles to life, renovating their shine and polish are being flown in from the smithsonian institutes in washington with the blessings of the U.S. senate and the pope. (whom the ex-syedna frequently advised in the strictest confidence on monumental world matters)

there are thousands of such articles which have been identified but have to be collected from the various store-rooms, dungeons, attics and secret passageways and catacombs beneath the saifee palace. it is expected that this massive undertaking may take upto 2-3 years provided all the blood-sucking denizens of the family co-operate and part with their secret hoardes. once fully restored and classified, these articles will be housed in individual fortified, bullet proof glass showcases (expertise borrowed from the paris louvre) and displayed primarily within raudat tahera for the most important and venerated objects and the rest scattered over all leading mazaars, such as galiakot, dongaam, surat, burhanpur etc. many of these will be earmarked for new venues based on income generating potential such as east africa, karachi, surat, UK, US (houston, chicago, california etc). separate museums will be built and devout abdes and other brainwashed fanatics of other faiths and sects will be allowed in on the charge of a fakhir najwa.

all these items of daily use of the dai's are sacred and have miraculous healing powers to cure people of the deadliest cancers even in terminal stages, to locate missing pets, find husbands for derelict and abandoned widows, bring an abundant catch for fishermen, bless childless couples with bouncing offspring, put a full smile on toothless abdes and amtes, restore virility, bring errant teenagers back to siratul mustaqeem, cure incessant itching, stop bleeding for haemophiliacs, allow mumeen to perform haj and ziyarat of raudat tahera and ride on trains without tickets... the list goes on.

the financial whiz kids at the mafia H.Q. estimate that this project will provide a ROI of 1000% from the 2nd year itself, considering the fertile farming soil of the community. deep throat has floated the excellent proposal that selected mashaikhs be allowed to buy shares in this lucrative venture. of course, this will be a secret insider ring of privileged investors, carefully hidden from the public bourse and stupid interfering stock exchange regulators. minimum buy-in amounts have not yet been fixed, but are widely expected to start at 50 crores and up.

whilst the aga khan goes around aimlessly involving himself in puerile and ignoble pursuits such promoting islam and ismaili heritage, mufatlal dreams and implements grandiose projects which will put the last 2 dai's and himself firmly into the firmament of human history. we can only watch and ponder like 'the stout cortez who gazed in wonder upon a peak in darien'...


Al Zulfiqar
Posts: 4609
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 5:01 am

Re: New Rules..!!

#273

Unread post by Al Zulfiqar » Thu Sep 18, 2014 12:52 pm

I could not resist posting this sonnet here, in reference to my quotation above:

On First Looking into Chapman’s Homer
John Keats, 1795 - 1821

Much have I traveled in the realms of gold
And many goodly states and kingdoms seen;
Round many western islands have I been
Which bards in fealty to Apollo hold.
Oft of one wide expanse had I been told
That deep-browed Homer ruled as his demesne;
Yet never did I breathe its pure serene
Till I heard Chapman speak out loud and bold:
Then felt I like some watcher of the skies
When a new planet swims into his ken;
Or like stout Cortez when with eagle eyes
He stared at the Pacific—and all his men
Looked at each other with a wild surmise—
Silent, upon a peak in Darien.

system5
Posts: 20
Joined: Fri Jul 11, 2014 12:10 am

Re: New Rules..!!

#274

Unread post by system5 » Sat Sep 20, 2014 12:57 am

AZ, what will be the new rules regarding the WILL left by the wealthy abdes on their death? Their credit cards status,their linked bank accounts and so on? please ask your deep throat for info.

Al Zulfiqar
Posts: 4609
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 5:01 am

Re: New Rules..!!

#275

Unread post by Al Zulfiqar » Mon Sep 22, 2014 1:25 pm

system5 wrote:AZ, what will be the new rules regarding the WILL left by the wealthy abdes on their death? Their credit cards status,their linked bank accounts and so on? please ask your deep throat for info.
system,

your query makes no sense. why would an abde, esp. a wealthy abde, leave everything in his will to the blood-suckers? deep throat is not approachable for puerile trivialities.

humanbeing
Posts: 2195
Joined: Sun Nov 20, 2011 2:30 am

Re: New Rules..!!

#276

Unread post by humanbeing » Tue Sep 23, 2014 1:55 am

Al Zulfiqar wrote:
system5 wrote:AZ, what will be the new rules regarding the WILL left by the wealthy abdes on their death? Their credit cards status,their linked bank accounts and so on? please ask your deep throat for info.
system, your query makes no sense. why would an abde, esp. a wealthy abde, leave everything in his will to the blood-suckers? deep throat is not approachable for puerile trivialities.
AZ
Let’s not undermine the Kothari think tank’s ability to regulate the WILL of wealthy abde ! in coming time we may hear a farmaan or irshadaat that an abde must prepare a will and make provision from his wealth for “aqa maula” something akin to paying your own “haqqun nafs” in lumpsum. “Aqa Maula” will meet the abde in Qabr to escort him to jannat, the final and most important service from Kothari clergy cannot be free. Morever how can the most important and final decision of the abde be without “Raza”… in fact any abde who makes a WILL must submit the copy to wazaratus saifiyaah for review and raza from “aqa maula” , he will decide how much or less everyone gets and send back the corrected WILL to the abde. This WILL is now made paak and beshumaar barakaat, ehsaan and karam bestowed by “aqa maula”

Depending on the wealth donated in the WILL towards “aqa maula” more the preference, benefits and comforts that abde will get in his journey to jannat, chauffeured by “aqa maula”. Such donations can be accounted in rukku chitthi which is placed in the qabr.

Not a bad idea !

kimanumanu
Posts: 607
Joined: Wed Apr 09, 2014 2:16 pm

Re: New Rules..!!

#277

Unread post by kimanumanu » Tue Sep 23, 2014 2:59 am

humanbeing wrote: Such donations can be accounted in rukku chitthi which is placed in the qabr.
Gold, silver, plain paper, plastic etc rukku chitthi?

Al Zulfiqar
Posts: 4609
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 5:01 am

Re: New Rules..!!

#278

Unread post by Al Zulfiqar » Fri Sep 26, 2014 1:38 pm

rule no. 71.

our aqa ane mola aali qadr aqiqul yemen, yaaqut al hind, rabbul al aalameen, haqiqi kaaba, haq na saheb, mojiza na saheb, jaanat na redhwan, panjatan na vaaris, ali na lakhte jigar etc etc and blah, blah and blah... has decided to formalise and channelise his khauf ane mayusi against amtes who do not wear the prescribed ridha and do not attend every majlis, miqaat ane bayan in violation of his divine farmaans and against the wishes of her abde shohar who demonstrates unlimited valvalo for his mola ane khuda, but his naapak bairo dashes his beliefs and faith by disobeying him.

for such naa farman and naapak amtes who do not show the requisite zalzalo, mufatlal has decided to set down the following laws into stone:

1. the suffering abde shohar will be called in for special sessions of sabak, wherein he will be taught the esoteric art of handling his errant bairo. The correct tone and choice of alfaaz from lisane dawat with which to initially reprimand, then berate, and finally soft non-aggressive methods to be adopted to make this magpie fall in line, such as refusing all communication, denial of marital rights, stoppage of pocket money and enforced cease and desist orders to refrain from all non-essential shopping. Thus only daily groceries, medicines and clothes for family will be allowed, all other personal shopping for this amte will be considered ‘objectif non-grata’.
2. If defiance still persists, then a senior jamaat aayan will visit the hapless abde’s home and after careful study of the layout, will pinpoint the exact dark and damp corner of the house which will be designated for the criminal amte to be confined in. physical restraints such as handcuffs, belts, gags, straitjackets etc will be provided to hold this daredevil amte for delineated periods.
3. If the rebellion persists, concerned abde will have access to a number of measures and tools. Each and every jamaat office in every moze’ and vatan will soon be stocked with a variety of recommended canes and whips. The thinnest and shortest stick will be used in the initial stage, followed by sticks of increasing thicknesses and lengths. Abdes can rest assured that all the above devices have been suitably ‘phookofied’ by their great master and lord.
4. Somewhat similar to Shakespeare’s observation (but far more superior in its impact) that the quality of mercy is twice blessed, the quality of punishment in the abde’s case is thrice blessed. It blesses the amte in bringing her to siratul mustaqeem, it blesses the sorrowful abde for he has wisely chosen to implement his god’s command and prove his undying fidagiri, and most importantly, it blesses mufatlal because every stroke of the cane or the whip, as the severity of the case demands, leads to indirect pleasure of the rabbul aalameen. The slicing of the whip into soft flesh is the cause of his smile and his soul brims over with joy.
5. If all above measures fail, the amte harpie - the disgusting gargoyle and medusa - is to be cast into the streets, before ‘su ne su thai jaye’. The exact spot and location of this repulsion is to be chosen in conjunction with your local amil, who will fit this ‘no-longer amte’ with a GPS tracking device, which will be monitored from Saifee mahal by their tech wizards.
6. In selected instances, based on hitherto to-be-decided parameters, it is widely expected (as reported by deep throat) that aqa mola mufatlal will intervene and grant refuge to this abandoned ex-amte after personal counselling and sabaks. If she mends her ways, said amte will be returned with a new latest-fashion ridha to her shohar abde, if not may ‘su ne su thai jaye’ happen with her.

Deep throat advises that this ground-breaking initiative has already been communicated to every amil and zaada, but stocks of canes, whips, belts, gags, etc are awaited by every jamaat office and only then will this azeemushaan nemat, beshumaar barakat ane ehsaan of mufatlal will roll into action.

All amtes beware!

humanbeing
Posts: 2195
Joined: Sun Nov 20, 2011 2:30 am

Re: New Rules..!!

#279

Unread post by humanbeing » Sun Sep 28, 2014 2:11 am

AZ

What about training in “tez-nigaah” ?

In one of the sermons by a local amil,on a session of rida-purdah for women. He advised that, if they come across amtes in non rida attires they must be seen with “tez-nigaah”.

This statement had me in splits and we discussed, that abdes and amtes are now going to have an eye warfare with non-aligned bairaas. “akhiyon-se-goli-maare”

Al Zulfiqar
Posts: 4609
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 5:01 am

Re: New Rules..!!

#280

Unread post by Al Zulfiqar » Mon Sep 29, 2014 12:07 pm

humanbeing,

your point is well-taken. actually, it falls under subpoint 1. of rule no. 71. deepthroat generally provides me general broad strokes, which i flesh out based on his instructions.

yes, 'tez nigah' training is imparted, not only to the errant amte's shauhar, but to all abde's overall when they attend the secret sabaks. movie clips of famous estwhile bollywodd villains, such as k.n. singh, pran, amrish puri, and hollywood monsters such as frankenstein, dracula, the power-saw wielding psycho of 'nightmare on elm street' and others are shown repeatedly to the pliant abdes so that they can pick up tips on how to bring about that fear dripping, soul shaking look into their eyes, the correct body language to match, the facial expressions, the correct ambience to be created (red pulsating lights, deep resonating gong like music etc) before unleashing that 'tez-nigah' on any unsuspecting sinner amte, springing out on her from behind a hidden bush, driving her nuts and ready to commit harakiri.

the HPC of the DEH has recruited several amtes who act as willing stooges on which this whole tez nigah business can be practised. their fearful reactions, body-cringing sobs and copious amount of tears is the final indication on how successful the tez nigah exercise is. the most accomplished of the tez nigah practitioners is then enlisted as a coach who then undertakes to train others in this esoteric art. it is expected that soon a whole army of bohras will be well-versed as tez nigahi's and could collectively strike terror into the tender hearts of amtes who refuse to obey their aqa and mola's divine farmaans and flaunt themselves without ridhas and refuse to make a min. of 100 rotis per day at lightning speeds.

this army of tez nigahi bohras will also serve as the 1st line of defense to their haqiqi kaaba. stationed at strategic positions around his kaafila and divine personage, they will turn their dreaded looks onto unruly abdes, amtes and non-bohras who dare to disturb his holy aura. when concentrated, the tez nigah looks will have the power to dissolve all opposition, a' la piercing lasers or intense water-jets which can cut through steel. there is immense potential for this secret sabaki trained tez nigah warriors. they would constitute a most effective security shield around heads of state, kings, sultans and shaikhs. instead of black suited, burly, dark glasses donned personal body guards, you will soon see white std fluttering abdes in gold kasab fetas and topis directing their fearsome tez nigah's on the vast assemblage, striking terror and deterrence into their hearts. imagine the tremendous new sources of income for mufatlal, he could soon be rolling in the legendary treasures of solomon with his paws up in the air, whilst nubile qatari air-hostesses tickle his dimpled cheeks and belly!

apparently, word of this tez nigah trained abde brigades has already reached the ears of the top secret U.S, presidential guards, the mercenary forces of blackwater corporation and many other killers-for- hire shady outfits.

this is all due to the beshumaar barakat ane ehsaan of our allah na dai! su eni niraaaaaali shaaaaan chhe!!

Al Zulfiqar
Posts: 4609
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 5:01 am

Re: New Rules..!!

#281

Unread post by Al Zulfiqar » Tue Sep 30, 2014 11:27 am

it is most disappointing to me and particularly to deep throat that inspite of him risking life and limb to get these ground breaking news way in advance, the staunch abdes on this forum do not have the guts to come here and comment. either they are cowards or they are too daunted, embarrassed and guilt ridden.

well, one can take a horse to the water, but cannot force him to drink. this thread is an aabe kauser for believers, unfortunately the misguided abdes refuse to drink from its invigorating waters....

JC
Posts: 1624
Joined: Wed Sep 29, 2004 4:01 am

Re: New Rules..!!

#282

Unread post by JC » Tue Sep 30, 2014 11:32 am

Bro AZ,

The abde horses will not 'drink' unless you prove the 'water' has been 'phonked' (or anything else ... :wink: ) by Muffat-Dal .......... prove it and your gala will over-flow!!

SBM
Posts: 6229
Joined: Sun May 09, 2004 4:01 am

Re: New Rules..!!

#283

Unread post by SBM » Tue Sep 30, 2014 11:35 am

Br AZ
Adam and Progticide have been recalled for further consultation and they have been assigned special duties to find out who the deep throat is? :D

JC
Posts: 1624
Joined: Wed Sep 29, 2004 4:01 am

Re: New Rules..!!

#284

Unread post by JC » Tue Sep 30, 2014 11:43 am

SBM wrote:Br AZ
Adam and Progticide have been recalled for further consultation and they have been assigned special duties to find out who the deep throat is? :D
Perhaps they also want to check 'how' deep throated he is ...... :wink:

Al Zulfiqar
Posts: 4609
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 5:01 am

Re: New Rules..!!

#285

Unread post by Al Zulfiqar » Tue Sep 30, 2014 12:14 pm

adam, bird, frog, pig, insecticide and many others have tried their best to find out who deep throat is. even QJ and astar have done their best. mufatlal even asked his brother hoze' who art in heaven, hallowed be thine name, to focus his divine gaze on the saifee castle labyrinth and detect with his x-ray vision who this infernal deep throat is.

the zaad's have, in desperation, thought as a final recourse to contact their dead - but immortal - al hayy smb if he can shed light on this conundrum, this enigma wrapped in a mystery shrouded in aboul houl, known as deep throat. but the consensus among the zaads is that their father is in the service of the dead imam (as per official bayan of mufatlal soon after the old man passed on) and should not be disturbed.

and so the matter rests...


Al Zulfiqar
Posts: 4609
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 5:01 am

Re: New Rules..!!

#286

Unread post by Al Zulfiqar » Thu Oct 02, 2014 11:55 am

no comments from the die-hard staunch defenders of the dawat, knights in shining armour like adam, true bohra, profastian etc, re: their dead syedna, and the dead imam in whose khidmat he is in jannah??

c'mon guys, surely you can't be seen as cowards now, can you?

haqniwaat
Posts: 516
Joined: Wed Aug 06, 2014 6:06 pm

Re: New Rules..!!

#287

Unread post by haqniwaat » Thu Oct 02, 2014 2:55 pm

Al Zulfiqar wrote:no comments from the die-hard staunch defenders of the dawat, knights in shining armour like adam, true bohra, profastian etc, re: their dead syedna, and the dead imam in whose khidmat he is in jannah??

c'mon guys, surely you can't be seen as cowards now, can you?
Your language is very, very hurtful. Ver sad.

truth seeker100
Posts: 165
Joined: Tue May 20, 2014 5:54 pm

Re: New Rules..!!

#288

Unread post by truth seeker100 » Thu Oct 02, 2014 5:12 pm

haqniwaat wrote:
Al Zulfiqar wrote:no comments from the die-hard staunch defenders of the dawat, knights in shining armour like adam, true bohra, profastian etc, re: their dead syedna, and the dead imam in whose khidmat he is in jannah??

c'mon guys, surely you can't be seen as cowards now, can you?
Your language is very, very hurtful. Ver sad.
truth hurts

Al Zulfiqar
Posts: 4609
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 5:01 am

Re: New Rules..!!

#289

Unread post by Al Zulfiqar » Fri Oct 03, 2014 2:51 pm

haqniwaat wrote:
Al Zulfiqar wrote:no comments from the die-hard staunch defenders of the dawat, knights in shining armour like adam, true bohra, profastian etc, re: their dead syedna, and the dead imam in whose khidmat he is in jannah??

c'mon guys, surely you can't be seen as cowards now, can you?
Your language is very, very hurtful. Ver sad.
can you please define in precise terms what exactly is 'very hurtful' ?

can you or anyone deny that the ex syedna died few months ago?
can you or anyone deny that soon after his father passed away, the present dai gave an emotional bayan in which he categorically stated that his father was now in the service of the imam in heaven? which obviously implies that the imam too is dead?

now on the other hand, the kothari rascals have taken to addressing the ex-syedna, not as 'al muqaddas', but as 'al hayy' (the living and immortal), implying that he is amongst us. so what is it? is he dead or is he living? why is that same laqab not used for past dai's? were they lesser than the 52nd and of minor significance? did anyone in islamic history ever address the prophet as 'al hayy'?

secondly, it is always said that the imam is hidden - in satr - and will reveal himself when the time is ripe, in fact the dai collects silatul imam and najwa for imamuz zaman on eids and on the imam's salgirah, which would imply even to the biggest retard on earth that the imam is alive and kicking and enjoying all this moolah which the syedna must be couriering to him in top secrecy. one would imagine the imam living it up somewhere in the bahamas or st moritz or acapulco cooling his heels, sipping on a chilled khus sherbet whilst donning a mexican fedora. but no. what we suddenly get is a rude awakening like a kick in the teeth by a towering giraffe, that the imam too is dead and langusihing in heaven where the dead (but al hayy) syedna is doing khidmat to his august persona.

I have simply stated the above facts, as a dispassionate lawyer would in court. there is no offense implied or favors sought. if you feel hurt with the hard facts then i suggest you take up these apocryphal contradictions with your local amil or zaada or failing which develop a thicker hide and be less emotional. there are no holy cows when it comes to the 'business' of religion, and who better to vouch for this than the dastardly kothar which has made the bohra deen a non-stop supplier of income for the haramkhor family?

JC
Posts: 1624
Joined: Wed Sep 29, 2004 4:01 am

Re: New Rules..!!

#290

Unread post by JC » Fri Oct 03, 2014 3:09 pm

Dead Syedanas are doing Khidmat of dead Imams .......... and living Syedana is doing Khidmat of living Imam ..... :roll:

Living Imam could be in Rufiji or Reunion Islands ........... :)

However there could be more than one Imam as we have more than one Syedana ........... every Syedana does Khidmat of his own Imam ......... he scratches his Imam's back and in turn Imam does the same, all happy ... :?

Al Zulfiqar
Posts: 4609
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 5:01 am

Re: New Rules..!!

#291

Unread post by Al Zulfiqar » Fri Oct 03, 2014 3:49 pm

JC wrote:..... he scratches his Imam's back and in turn Imam does the same, all happy ... :?
JC,

you have to enunciate everything in lisane dawat. you cannot use such hurtful words as above. what is this scratching business..sounds crass and vulgar. it has to be mentioned thus in beautiful dawat ni zaban - syedna is doing talaqqi and chammar khidmat of imam, in return of which imam gives him sabaks and makes him drink from the ilm of aabe kausar etc.

JC
Posts: 1624
Joined: Wed Sep 29, 2004 4:01 am

Re: New Rules..!!

#292

Unread post by JC » Fri Oct 03, 2014 5:12 pm

Bro AZ,

Yeah it seems I am 'raw' and 'crude' ............. please get me Mafi from Ellah-ul-Ard ...........

Dai-u-zaman yeah Imam-u-zaman na samnay Ghana bajaya, shukr na sajda any Imam nee karee, ghanee talaqi. Imam nay poora pesh keda, fakhir najwa anay Imam na chooma, haath anay pao ........

Imam Ghana thaea Khush, anay Imam na chehrah par phaylae gae, noor nee roshnee. Imam yeah bhee pelaea Dai nay, kauser na pane, anay shafaqat no pherayo, haath .....

DisillusionedDB
Posts: 379
Joined: Mon Jul 07, 2014 7:20 am

Re: New Rules..!!

#293

Unread post by DisillusionedDB » Sat Oct 04, 2014 5:36 am

Al Zulfiqar wrote: the kothari rascals have taken to addressing the ex-syedna, not as 'al muqaddas', but as 'al hayy' (the living and immortal)
I am sure everyone here must be knowing that "Al Hayy" is one of the 99 names of Allah and to address a human being with one of Allah's names is attributing a quality of Allah to that person. Is this not shirk in its naked form ?

Ozdundee
Posts: 866
Joined: Wed May 29, 2013 6:57 am

Re: New Rules..!!

#294

Unread post by Ozdundee » Sat Oct 04, 2014 7:23 am

Bohras don't care about Shirk or what we or Islam requires

They live in their own space and time

I hope Abdes realise our fun is meant to wake them up from their hypnotism

I doubt that too

Bohra really believe their Diai is a living god nothing less

DisillusionedDB
Posts: 379
Joined: Mon Jul 07, 2014 7:20 am

Re: New Rules..!!

#295

Unread post by DisillusionedDB » Sat Oct 04, 2014 7:28 am

Ozdundee wrote:Bohras don't care about Shirk or what we or Islam requires

They live in their own space and time

I hope Abdes realise our fun is meant to wake them up from their hypnotism

I doubt that too

Bohra really believe their Diai is a living god nothing less
Well, I hope they do start caring about the shirk they commit and what Islam requires, for the sake of their aakherat.

Muslim First
Posts: 6893
Joined: Tue Jun 19, 2001 4:01 am

Re: New Rules..!!

#296

Unread post by Muslim First » Sat Oct 04, 2014 7:54 am

DisillusionedDB wrote:
Al Zulfiqar wrote: the kothari rascals have taken to addressing the ex-syedna, not as 'al muqaddas', but as 'al hayy' (the living and immortal)
I am sure everyone here must be knowing that "Al Hayy" is one of the 99 names of Allah and to address a human being with one of Allah's names is attributing a quality of Allah to that person. Is this not shirk in its naked form ?
I am sure everyone here must be knowing that "Al Hayy" is one of the 99 names of Allah

Brother

Actually Allah does not have 99 names but has 99 attributes.

O ya, he does have one other name, it is "Khuda"
Indo Persian origin, not Arabic.
Wasalaam

Al Zulfiqar
Posts: 4609
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 5:01 am

Re: New Rules..!!

#297

Unread post by Al Zulfiqar » Sat Oct 04, 2014 9:23 pm

DisillusionedDB wrote:
....... attributing a quality of Allah to that person. Is this not shirk in its naked form ?
no. this is shirk wearing saaya kurta and topi.

Al Zulfiqar
Posts: 4609
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 5:01 am

Re: New Rules..!!

#298

Unread post by Al Zulfiqar » Tue Oct 07, 2014 10:01 pm

hot new rules are in the offing folks. deep throat just buzzed my direct line and informed me that some rules on standardisation have been formulated on the lines of ISO 9000 etc. these will be called MSO. more details as the news rolls in, in their entirety. would advise sabr ane himmat for all concerned....

maethist
Posts: 152
Joined: Sun Aug 31, 2014 3:28 pm

Re: New Rules..!!

#299

Unread post by maethist » Wed Oct 08, 2014 12:19 am

Muslim First wrote: Actually Allah does not have 99 names but has 99 attributes.
ayat 7:180

وَلِلَّهِ الْأَسْمَاءُ الْحُسْنَىٰ فَادْعُوهُ بِهَا ۖ وَذَرُوا الَّذِينَ يُلْحِدُونَ فِي أَسْمَائِهِ ۚ سَيُجْزَوْنَ مَا كَانُوا يَعْمَلُونَ

TRANSLATION:
To Allah belong the Best Names, so supplicate Him by them, and abandon those who commit sacrilege in His names. Soon they shall be requited for what they used to do.

Al Zulfiqar
Posts: 4609
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 5:01 am

Re: New Rules..!!

#300

Unread post by Al Zulfiqar » Thu Oct 09, 2014 4:20 pm

a self-declared atheist debating on the translation of the quran??!

does that make you a 'self-hating' atheist?

maethist wrote:
Muslim First wrote: Actually Allah does not have 99 names but has 99 attributes.
ayat 7:180

وَلِلَّهِ الْأَسْمَاءُ الْحُسْنَىٰ فَادْعُوهُ بِهَا ۖ وَذَرُوا الَّذِينَ يُلْحِدُونَ فِي أَسْمَائِهِ ۚ سَيُجْزَوْنَ مَا كَانُوا يَعْمَلُونَ

TRANSLATION:
To Allah belong the Best Names, so supplicate Him by them, and abandon those who commit sacrilege in His names. Soon they shall be requited for what they used to do.