Matrimonial circus

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Bohra spring
Posts: 1309
Joined: Mon Sep 17, 2012 8:37 am

Matrimonial circus

#1

Unread post by Bohra spring » Wed Jun 10, 2015 7:23 am

As I was browsing the matrimonial site I noticed the following statements that are regressive ...what has become of Bohra society
6
am looking for a suitable, handsome boy .....The boy needs to be surgeon or doctor or highly-qualified professional ONLY
really is that the quality of a good life partner? sounds like a job interview !
,balanced in deen and duniya.
What Deen ? islam or Mufadali
duniya? party animal! bollywood lifestyle? pre marital sex type ?
upper class type
since when. we had upper class and lower or middle class in Bohra community. ..this is so old fashioned thinking

the only class we heard was kasreali or abdes.

Al-Noor
Posts: 1075
Joined: Thu Jun 04, 2015 9:55 am

Re: Matrimonial circus

#2

Unread post by Al-Noor » Thu Jun 11, 2015 12:04 am

very well noticed, jazakallah.

when ever I need good laugh I visit this matrimonial section and laugh a lot, it's a shame instead of looking for partners who are perfect in deen and good in ethics these morons are demanding for money, status and class.

But again many times I find genuine ad and I always pray for them.

Al-Noor
Posts: 1075
Joined: Thu Jun 04, 2015 9:55 am

Re: Matrimonial circus

#3

Unread post by Al-Noor » Thu Jun 11, 2015 12:19 pm

I am looking for a suitable, handsome boy for my US-citizen daughter who is in the final year of engineering. She us fair, tall, brought up in the United States. The boy needs to be surgeon or doctor or highly-qualified professional ONLY, having his own establish practice, who is outgoing and financially very well settled. All background will be checked thoroughly, so apply only if you meet the above profile.
Email: quramit@gmail.com
Post date: June 02, 2015

I just emailed them with this reply
Salaam,

I saw your advertisement on dawoodi-bohra forum and I thought I should also apply for this job.

I am a multi-billionaire have my own cruise and personal charter flight, but I also have few girl friends and I occasionally night out with them. since you never mentioned anything regarding IMAN and ISLAM, I think I am well qualified for this job, please send me your daughter pics and if I think she is really beautiful as you have mentioned I might take her as my wife.

BTW I dont need green card, Obama is my friend and I can get it any time.

Thanx a lot.

SBM
Posts: 6352
Joined: Sun May 09, 2004 4:01 am

Re: Matrimonial circus

#4

Unread post by SBM » Thu Jun 11, 2015 1:44 pm

Al Noor
So what is wrong if parents are looking for some one who is rich and well connected
With number of religious people involved in Child Pornography and underage sex crimes even the people of Iman and piety can not be trusted. There are more cases just check the following links
http://www.examiner.com/article/top-isl ... lt-chicago
http://article.wn.com/view/2015/06/04/O ... sex_sting/

Al-Noor
Posts: 1075
Joined: Thu Jun 04, 2015 9:55 am

Re: Matrimonial circus

#5

Unread post by Al-Noor » Thu Jun 11, 2015 1:53 pm

SBM wrote:Al Noor
So what is wrong if parents are looking for some one who is rich and well connected
With number of religious people involved in Child Pornography and underage sex crimes even the people of Iman and piety can not be trusted. There are more cases just check the following links
http://www.examiner.com/article/top-isl ... lt-chicago
http://article.wn.com/view/2015/06/04/O ... sex_sting/
depends on the priorities and your and mine are clear, (rest is clearly written and explained)

BTW I also got reply of my email and I am surprised how much people are blind with money and country where they live.


Masalam

SBM
Posts: 6352
Joined: Sun May 09, 2004 4:01 am

Re: Matrimonial circus

#6

Unread post by SBM » Thu Jun 11, 2015 1:59 pm

Al-Noor
Well my point was that looking for people with Iman and Piety does not necessarily gets you the right people
It has to be balanced on both fronts
Making fun of parents by sending your email it is nothing but an insult which I suppose in not in your domain
Enough said

Al-Noor
Posts: 1075
Joined: Thu Jun 04, 2015 9:55 am

Re: Matrimonial circus

#7

Unread post by Al-Noor » Thu Jun 11, 2015 2:01 pm

SBM wrote:Al-Noor
Well my point was that looking for people with Iman and Piety does not necessarily gets you the right people
It has to be balanced on both fronts
Making fun of parents by sending your email it is nothing but an insult which I suppose in not in your domain
Enough said
it wasn't insult it was a reply to make them realize how wrong they are in their search for a groom for their daughter.
surgeon and doctors are no guarantee of good character.

SBM
Posts: 6352
Joined: Sun May 09, 2004 4:01 am

Re: Matrimonial circus

#8

Unread post by SBM » Thu Jun 11, 2015 2:03 pm

surgeon and doctors are no guarantee of good character.
And neither are pople of cloth.

Al-Noor
Posts: 1075
Joined: Thu Jun 04, 2015 9:55 am

Re: Matrimonial circus

#9

Unread post by Al-Noor » Thu Jun 11, 2015 2:14 pm

SBM wrote:
surgeon and doctors are no guarantee of good character.
And neither are pople of cloth.
Yes agree with you brother.

but again

jaise jiski soch

Al-Noor
Posts: 1075
Joined: Thu Jun 04, 2015 9:55 am

Re: Matrimonial circus

#10

Unread post by Al-Noor » Sun Aug 02, 2015 2:04 pm

read recent ads omg I cant believe these are requirements for marriages.

dawedaar
Posts: 844
Joined: Mon Aug 25, 2014 4:40 pm

Re: Matrimonial circus

#11

Unread post by dawedaar » Mon Aug 03, 2015 12:41 pm

Well, while its good to have deen and ethics, having financial resources is paramount these days. Bills, rent, food expenses (& ofcourse jamaat taxes) can't be paid with deen and ethics. @Al Noor, by chance if you own a business, do you ask your customer if he is deeni, prays 5 time namaaz, or do his background check for any crime before selling him your products or services. Or will you give your products or services for free to a customer who is good in ethics and deeni. Come on, in matrimonial issues, it is good that a person displays his intentions openly instead of hiding it! You can't search for perfection everywhere. And even if 1 asks for ethics and deen in a matrimonial ad, the responder (irrespective of his character) will never say that I am not ethical or I am not deeni. Also, a matrimonial ad doesn't lead to marriage directly. It seems, like you are a Farishta and consider all others as sinners! No1 is ideal in this world. Everybody's life and story is different! If you think like this, you will be more at peace!
Al-Noor wrote:very well noticed, jazakallah.

when ever I need good laugh I visit this matrimonial section and laugh a lot, it's a shame instead of looking for partners who are perfect in deen and good in ethics these morons are demanding for money, status and class.

But again many times I find genuine ad and I always pray for them.

SBM
Posts: 6352
Joined: Sun May 09, 2004 4:01 am

Re: Matrimonial circus

#12

Unread post by SBM » Mon Aug 03, 2015 2:02 pm

Al-Noor wrote:read recent ads omg I cant believe these are requirements for marriages.
Why are your reading Matrimonial columns, Only people who usually read Matrimonial Columns are either they are looking for spouse, or they are match maker or parents of marriageable children But there is another category who do not fit any of this category
and they are known as Stalker or pervert
So which one you fit in?

Al-Noor
Posts: 1075
Joined: Thu Jun 04, 2015 9:55 am

Re: Matrimonial circus

#13

Unread post by Al-Noor » Mon Aug 03, 2015 2:05 pm

@ dawedaar

I am not sure about this but if you was married and had children you would not even compare marriage with business example.

Marriage is much more than that....
Last edited by Al-Noor on Mon Aug 03, 2015 2:08 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Al-Noor
Posts: 1075
Joined: Thu Jun 04, 2015 9:55 am

Re: Matrimonial circus

#14

Unread post by Al-Noor » Mon Aug 03, 2015 2:07 pm

SBM wrote:
Al-Noor wrote:read recent ads omg I cant believe these are requirements for marriages.
Why are your reading Matrimonial columns, Only people who usually read Matrimonial Columns are either they are looking for spouse, or they are match maker or parents of marriageable children But there is another category who do not fit any of this category
and they are known as Stalker or pervert
So which one you fit in?
here is one more jerk trying to fit every one in one of his categories lol

we are discussing some thing serious about our present generation mind set, it will be better if you can avoid putting your shiity inputs. :wink: :lol:

Bohra spring
Posts: 1309
Joined: Mon Sep 17, 2012 8:37 am

Re: Matrimonial circus

#15

Unread post by Bohra spring » Mon Aug 03, 2015 5:25 pm

Such adds are a reflection of what Bohra society is. Materialistic and social acceptance standards

If religious society calibrates piousNess with how much wealth one has and contributes to the clergy ...it casCades within the culture.

Now imagine the children who will be born in such families ? They will be driven by similar values.

We have no moral correction system with the current diai dynasty

dawedaar
Posts: 844
Joined: Mon Aug 25, 2014 4:40 pm

Re: Matrimonial circus

#16

Unread post by dawedaar » Mon Aug 03, 2015 6:43 pm

Ok, so tell me 1 society or culture that is not materialistic or where money is not needed? You need money to survive in today's world. That's the simple fact today. No1 is gonna give you food or anything for free! And looking for a financial well settled groom/bride doesn't make one materialistic. I am financially doing well alhamdolillah but I am not materialistic. Material things don't give me pleasure! Nor do I strive to buy things that are not needed. I try to be economical always.
Bohra spring wrote:Such adds are a reflection of what Bohra society is. Materialistic and social acceptance standards

If religious society calibrates piousNess with how much wealth one has and contributes to the clergy ...it casCades within the culture.

Now imagine the children who will be born in such families ? They will be driven by similar values.

We have no moral correction system with the current diai dynasty

dawedaar
Posts: 844
Joined: Mon Aug 25, 2014 4:40 pm

Re: Matrimonial circus

#17

Unread post by dawedaar » Mon Aug 03, 2015 6:50 pm

I am not comparing marriage to a business. But showing you the importance of money and financial resources and how it is needed for survival at every moment today!
Al-Noor wrote:@ dawedaar

I am not sure about this but if you was married and had children you would not even compare marriage with business example.

Marriage is much more than that....

SBM
Posts: 6352
Joined: Sun May 09, 2004 4:01 am

Re: Matrimonial circus

#18

Unread post by SBM » Mon Aug 03, 2015 7:32 pm

All this talk about Marriage being not a business deal, I always understood in Islam Marriage is a contract and if just piety was only criteria then why financial MEHER is required instead of just PRAYERS and PIETY of the man.
Nothing wrong in checking once financial status in addition to their Deen and Dunya after all man is required to provide for wife and children in Islamic Culture.
All the so called Pious people from Shahi Bukhari of Jamia Masjid to SMS are corrupt to their core. Just look at how the pious men of Kothar treated their wives and parading their children

Al-Noor
Posts: 1075
Joined: Thu Jun 04, 2015 9:55 am

Re: Matrimonial circus

#19

Unread post by Al-Noor » Tue Aug 04, 2015 2:05 am

Bohra spring wrote:Such adds are a reflection of what Bohra society is. Materialistic and social acceptance standards

If religious society calibrates piousNess with how much wealth one has and contributes to the clergy ...it casCades within the culture.

Now imagine the children who will be born in such families ? They will be driven by similar values.

We have no moral correction system with the current diai dynasty
Exactly....

Bohra spring
Posts: 1309
Joined: Mon Sep 17, 2012 8:37 am

Re: Matrimonial circus

#20

Unread post by Bohra spring » Tue Aug 04, 2015 6:55 am

There is a moral question, I have observed white Caucasian, middle eastern , Asian and Indian families . Indians are very concerned about class and society, , look at Kothar they too intermarriage rather than allow random selection, that is as a result of culture and not religion.

But if a society does not discourage such behaviour where children are traded to best of means ...then we have a moral duty to object. Point being the PDB site as moral and spiritual reformer must make a stand.

Islam does not encourage marraige as means of gaining wealth or prosperity , that is blessed by Allah, Example our Prophet SAW married an unusual choice , an older woman Khadija RA , a young woman Aisha , married widows and divorced woman. His spouses chose him for what he stood for as the Prophet .

Islam talks about judging by deed and not superficial character and material.

SBM
Posts: 6352
Joined: Sun May 09, 2004 4:01 am

Re: Matrimonial circus

#21

Unread post by SBM » Tue Aug 04, 2015 10:00 am

,
Bohra Spring
Example our Prophet SAW married an unusual choice , an older woman Khadija RA , a young woman Aisha , married widows and divorced woman. His spouses chose him for what he stood for as the Prophet .
Br Bohra Spring
With all due respect, we should never compare the life of Prophet PBUH with anyone. What Prophet did was based on the message from Allaha. We should compare Apple to Apple not Apple to Oranges.
One can do the best to follow the path shown by Prophet and his progeny but we can NOT emulate their standard of living and Piety.

Bohra spring
Posts: 1309
Joined: Mon Sep 17, 2012 8:37 am

Re: Matrimonial circus

#22

Unread post by Bohra spring » Tue Aug 04, 2015 5:01 pm

SBM wrote:,
Bohra Spring
Example our Prophet SAW married an unusual choice , an older woman Khadija RA , a young woman Aisha , married widows and divorced woman. His spouses chose him for what he stood for as the Prophet .
Br Bohra Spring
With all due respect, we should never compare the life of Prophet PBUH with anyone. What Prophet did was based on the message from Allaha. We should compare Apple to Apple not Apple to Oranges.
One can do the best to follow the path shown by Prophet and his progeny but we can NOT emulate their standard of living and Piety.
Brother SBM ...what I am demonstrating the intellect that the Prophet showed in his lifestyle where unusual means he did not follow norm, he reformed his own culture and traditions. ..he practised what he preached.

Bohras talk about following Diai and his khushi, as Muslims our reference is the prophet saw, we must make sure our leaders are taking us on that right path and not off road on their own desires. We on tbese site of PDB are like GPS system showing people they are off road, but end of day Bohra are at the steering wheel , if they don't observe the GPS and use ultimately their own minds to get back, Quran helps here states we are not to blame. We and others are just the guides. Sometimes Satan also comes in sheep skin to mislead.


I think we have discussed this issue of marriage and morality enough , parents should prevent their desires and aspirations to commoditise the marriage institution.