Dating Rule... so I'm talking to this guy

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modernbhen
Posts: 18
Joined: Tue Feb 11, 2014 2:03 am

Dating Rule... so I'm talking to this guy

#1

Unread post by modernbhen » Tue Oct 21, 2014 10:54 am

Check out my latest article on dating rules in the Bohra world at:
http://modernbhen.blogspot.com/2014_10_01_archive.html

Critical_Thinker
Posts: 275
Joined: Sun Oct 19, 2014 2:22 pm

Re: Dating Rule... so I'm talking to this guy

#2

Unread post by Critical_Thinker » Tue Oct 21, 2014 2:27 pm

Amusing article bhen but please remember that the restrictions that frustrate you so much are actually part and parcel of islam, so should be upheld.

SBM
Posts: 6242
Joined: Sun May 09, 2004 4:01 am

Re: Dating Rule... so I'm talking to this guy

#3

Unread post by SBM » Tue Oct 21, 2014 2:42 pm

Critical_Thinker wrote:Amusing article bhen but please remember that the restrictions that frustrate you so much are actually part and parcel of islam, so should be upheld.
And how about doing Sajdaa to human being, is that also part and parcel of Islam?

saminaben
Posts: 132
Joined: Thu Jan 16, 2014 7:57 pm

Re: Dating Rule... so I'm talking to this guy

#4

Unread post by saminaben » Tue Oct 21, 2014 5:40 pm

Critical_Thinker wrote:Amusing article bhen but please remember that the restrictions that frustrate you so much are actually part and parcel of islam, so should be upheld.
Oh come on - how uptight can you get in your critical thinking! This is the lighter thread after all.

You are no one but Adam/levelheaded/ SMS Extra . . .with a new topi, and old chauvinism.

Critical_Thinker
Posts: 275
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Re: Dating Rule... so I'm talking to this guy

#5

Unread post by Critical_Thinker » Tue Oct 21, 2014 8:11 pm

SBM wrote:
Critical_Thinker wrote:Amusing article bhen but please remember that the restrictions that frustrate you so much are actually part and parcel of islam, so should be upheld.
And how about doing Sajdaa to human being, is that also part and parcel of Islam?
What has that got to do with this thread?
If you are a bohra then doing sajdo is part of islam. If you are a wahhabi then sajdo is not part of islam.
Lakum deenakum waliyadin.

Critical_Thinker
Posts: 275
Joined: Sun Oct 19, 2014 2:22 pm

Re: Dating Rule... so I'm talking to this guy

#6

Unread post by Critical_Thinker » Tue Oct 21, 2014 8:15 pm

saminaben wrote:
Critical_Thinker wrote:Amusing article bhen but please remember that the restrictions that frustrate you so much are actually part and parcel of islam, so should be upheld.
Oh come on - how uptight can you get in your critical thinking! This is the lighter thread after all.

You are no one but Adam/levelheaded/ SMS Extra . . .with a new topi, and old chauvinism.
I said I found the article amusing, how does that make me uptight?
Please explain what you mean exactly samina bhen.
Are you saying that you believe western style 'dating' is (or should be) part of islam?
And you think I must be a male chauvinist because I believe it isnt (nor should be) part of islam?

trvoice
Posts: 169
Joined: Wed Jan 13, 2010 3:11 pm

Re: Dating Rule... so I'm talking to this guy

#7

Unread post by trvoice » Wed Oct 22, 2014 12:20 am

Nice article, makes me wanna go back in time and stop that.

WiththenameofAllah
Posts: 230
Joined: Sat May 24, 2014 9:13 am

Re: Dating Rule... so I'm talking to this guy

#8

Unread post by WiththenameofAllah » Wed Oct 22, 2014 4:39 am

Nice article and bohra way of finding a spouse is no way prescribed by islam. I am going through this so writing from my experience. men only want to talk talk talk , get your pics, date but never marry. I am so frustrated with this system. When did this happen in our parents age that they would talk on whatsapp 24/7 to get to know each other? At that time, people will simply see each other and if families are good marriage will happen. Now you talk talk and talk to get to know each other than what happens when you talk so much that nothing happens because no one is perfect.

abde53
Posts: 296
Joined: Mon Jan 13, 2003 5:01 am

Re: Dating Rule... so I'm talking to this guy

#9

Unread post by abde53 » Wed Oct 22, 2014 6:49 am

Are you saying that you believe western style 'dating' is (or should be) part of islam?
Critical
What about Bohras having engaged for 3 years and before the marriage, girl spending time with their in laws, I have seen girl from India engaged to a boy in USA and came and stayed with her in laws for 6 months and she have no relatives in USA, after that engagement was broken and this practice is very common in Bohras and not in MUSLIMS. Is that acceptable to you.

Critical_Thinker
Posts: 275
Joined: Sun Oct 19, 2014 2:22 pm

Re: Dating Rule... so I'm talking to this guy

#10

Unread post by Critical_Thinker » Wed Oct 22, 2014 7:36 am

WiththenameofAllah wrote:Nice article and bohra way of finding a spouse is no way prescribed by islam. I am going through this so writing from my experience. men only want to talk talk talk , get your pics, date but never marry. I am so frustrated with this system. When did this happen in our parents age that they would talk on whatsapp 24/7 to get to know each other? At that time, people will simply see each other and if families are good marriage will happen. Now you talk talk and talk to get to know each other than what happens when you talk so much that nothing happens because no one is perfect.
I agree. There is a marriage crisis going on right now across the whole muslim world.
Bohras need to address this before its too late.

Critical_Thinker
Posts: 275
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Re: Dating Rule... so I'm talking to this guy

#11

Unread post by Critical_Thinker » Wed Oct 22, 2014 7:39 am

abde53 wrote:
Are you saying that you believe western style 'dating' is (or should be) part of islam?
Critical
What about Bohras having engaged for 3 years and before the marriage, girl spending time with their in laws, I have seen girl from India engaged to a boy in USA and came and stayed with her in laws for 6 months and she have no relatives in USA, after that engagement was broken and this practice is very common in Bohras and not in MUSLIMS. Is that acceptable to you.
Ive never heard of such a thing happening. Do you have proof or are you just spreading lies?
I can assure you that there are many bad practices going on among non-bohra muslims.

saminaben
Posts: 132
Joined: Thu Jan 16, 2014 7:57 pm

Re: Dating Rule... so I'm talking to this guy

#12

Unread post by saminaben » Wed Oct 22, 2014 11:11 am

Criticalathinker
I said I found the article amusing, how does that make me uptight]
Yes- But
Amusing..But

The But negates the "amusing"

Critical_Thinker
Posts: 275
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Re: Dating Rule... so I'm talking to this guy

#13

Unread post by Critical_Thinker » Wed Oct 22, 2014 11:41 am

saminaben wrote:Criticalathinker
I said I found the article amusing, how does that make me uptight]
Yes- But
Amusing..But

The But negates the "amusing"
Yes, because 'dating' negates islam.
Does being a practicing muslim makes me uptight in your eyes?

SBM
Posts: 6242
Joined: Sun May 09, 2004 4:01 am

Re: Dating Rule... so I'm talking to this guy

#14

Unread post by SBM » Wed Oct 22, 2014 12:34 pm

Yes, because 'dating' negates islam.
And what do you call a Bohra Boy and Bohra Girl going out together after engagement without Chaperon..( I suppose Bohra customs take precedent over Islamic principles --according to you)

Critical_Thinker
Posts: 275
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Re: Dating Rule... so I'm talking to this guy

#15

Unread post by Critical_Thinker » Wed Oct 22, 2014 12:50 pm

SBM wrote:
Yes, because 'dating' negates islam.
And what do you call a Bohra Boy and Bohra Girl going out together after engagement without Chaperon..( I suppose Bohra customs take precedent over Islamic principles --according to you)
This is quite common amongst progressive bohras although quite rare amongst the traditional bohras.
Our customs are based on bohra interpretations of islamic principles, they are not based on your wahhabi interpretations.

You put likes on posts above so obviously are in favour of 'dating'.
On what islamic principle do you base this on?

SBM
Posts: 6242
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Re: Dating Rule... so I'm talking to this guy

#16

Unread post by SBM » Wed Oct 22, 2014 12:56 pm

This is quite common amongst progressive bohras although quite rare amongst the traditional bohras.
Either you are a Lier-Blind or stupid if you are not aware of this practice among Abde Bohras....so which one?

WiththenameofAllah
Posts: 230
Joined: Sat May 24, 2014 9:13 am

Re: Dating Rule... so I'm talking to this guy

#17

Unread post by WiththenameofAllah » Wed Oct 22, 2014 2:35 pm

I belong to traditional bohra , telling you from my experience from taruff where they are mostly die hard abdes .. They take them to desert safari , girls and boys hold hand nicely and walk there enjoying belly dances ... Astaghfirullah ... Really fed up ! Texting , chatting , whatsapp 24/7 btw na mehrams .. I dunno who will agree to this .
Women have to cover themselves in front of na mehrams but their pics are nicely circulated on whatsapp ..

dawedaar
Posts: 844
Joined: Mon Aug 25, 2014 4:40 pm

Re: Dating Rule... so I'm talking to this guy

#18

Unread post by dawedaar » Wed Oct 22, 2014 5:47 pm

The wahabis (who seem to cry 'Shirk' on the drop of the hat with actions of Shias) themselves indulge in all kind of ayyashis where they spend millions in US, UK or other western countries -> One example -> http://www.worldcarfans.com/11408157967 ... -supercars
What has that got to do with this thread?
If you are a bohra then doing sajdo is part of islam. If you are a wahhabi then sajdo is not part of islam.
Lakum deenakum waliyadin.

ghulam muhammed
Posts: 11653
Joined: Tue Oct 07, 2008 5:34 pm

Re: Dating Rule... so I'm talking to this guy

#19

Unread post by ghulam muhammed » Wed Oct 22, 2014 6:05 pm

Critical_Thinker wrote:And what do you call a Bohra Boy and Bohra Girl going out together after engagement without Chaperon..( I suppose Bohra customs take precedent over Islamic principles --according to you)

This is quite common amongst progressive bohras although quite rare amongst the traditional bohras.
Sister,

I and many other members have been debating very patiently with you but you have now started irritating people here by making statements like the above. Sorry to say but you resort to LIES LIES and nothing but Safed Jhooth !! Girls and boys going out after engagement is a VERY COMMON practice among TRADITIONAL Bohras too and your defence is simply very HOLLOW !! Now don't ask for proofs as everyone is aware of this practice.

Critical_Thinker
Posts: 275
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Re: Dating Rule... so I'm talking to this guy

#20

Unread post by Critical_Thinker » Wed Oct 22, 2014 6:43 pm

SBM wrote:
This is quite common amongst progressive bohras although quite rare amongst the traditional bohras.
Either you are a Lier-Blind or stupid if you are not aware of this practice among Abde Bohras....so which one?
It is practiced far more amongst the progressives, do you hate us too?
And you still havent explained why you approve of 'dating'.

Critical_Thinker
Posts: 275
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Re: Dating Rule... so I'm talking to this guy

#21

Unread post by Critical_Thinker » Wed Oct 22, 2014 6:50 pm

ghulam muhammed wrote:
Critical_Thinker wrote:And what do you call a Bohra Boy and Bohra Girl going out together after engagement without Chaperon..( I suppose Bohra customs take precedent over Islamic principles --according to you)

This is quite common amongst progressive bohras although quite rare amongst the traditional bohras.
Sister,

I and many other members have been debating very patiently with you but you have now started irritating people here by making statements like the above. Sorry to say but you resort to LIES LIES and nothing but Safed Jhooth !! Girls and boys going out after engagement is a VERY COMMON practice among TRADITIONAL Bohras too and your defence is simply very HOLLOW !! Now don't ask for proofs as everyone is aware of this practice.
You are exaggerating again ghulam. In my progressive jamaat this is so common that its become the norm.
My traditional relatives on the other hand still prefer to do things differently, as do many in their traditional jamaat.
It does happen for sure, but is definitely not the norm with their jamaat.

The fact remains that this is practiced far more among us progressives.
The question is, do you feel that we are wrong for doing so?
Are you yet another wahhabi who is against absolutely everyone?

SBM
Posts: 6242
Joined: Sun May 09, 2004 4:01 am

Re: Dating Rule... so I'm talking to this guy

#22

Unread post by SBM » Wed Oct 22, 2014 9:44 pm

My traditional relatives on the other hand still prefer to do things differently, as do many in their traditional jamaat.
Like doing Sajda to Kothari Goons, doing Ziyaffats and getting kicked.yep that is what Traditional aka Abde bohras do which is your forte...

saminaben
Posts: 132
Joined: Thu Jan 16, 2014 7:57 pm

Re: Dating Rule... so I'm talking to this guy

#23

Unread post by saminaben » Wed Oct 22, 2014 11:22 pm

Critical_Thinker wroteYou are exaggerating again ghulam
For someone (critical thinker) to object to online chats between the sexes (aka modern day dating), she has no qualms whatsoever shamelessly engaging in hot conversations 24/7 past 4 days with the brothers on this forum, whom she doesn't even have decency to call them bro.

Seems to me her double standards are no different from SMS Gang, no matter how much she huffs and puffs against Kothar and the Udaipuris.

WiththenameofAllah
Posts: 230
Joined: Sat May 24, 2014 9:13 am

Re: Dating Rule... so I'm talking to this guy

#24

Unread post by WiththenameofAllah » Thu Oct 23, 2014 1:34 am

She is another eg of adam who will run away when given facts and asked questions. really sister critical thinker come to Dubai and see for yourself what traditional bohras do and if this is also a norm in progressive bohras please be the first one to change this and In Sha Allah you will make a difference.

SBM
Posts: 6242
Joined: Sun May 09, 2004 4:01 am

Re: Dating Rule... so I'm talking to this guy

#25

Unread post by SBM » Thu Oct 23, 2014 1:38 am

saminaben wrote:
Critical_Thinker wroteYou are exaggerating again ghulam
For someone (critical thinker) to object to online chats between the sexes (aka modern day dating), she has no qualms whatsoever shamelessly engaging in hot conversations 24/7 past 4 days with the brothers on this forum, whom she doesn't even have decency to call them bro.

Seems to me her double standards are no different from SMS Gang, no matter how much she huffs and puffs against Kothar and the Udaipuris.
Saminaben
Do you think I want to be known as her brother? :oops:

Critical_Thinker
Posts: 275
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Re: Dating Rule... so I'm talking to this guy

#26

Unread post by Critical_Thinker » Thu Oct 23, 2014 7:21 am

saminaben wrote:
Critical_Thinker wroteYou are exaggerating again ghulam
For someone (critical thinker) to object to online chats between the sexes (aka modern day dating), she has no qualms whatsoever shamelessly engaging in hot conversations 24/7 past 4 days with the brothers on this forum, whom she doesn't even have decency to call them bro.

Seems to me her double standards are no different from SMS Gang, no matter how much she huffs and puffs against Kothar and the Udaipuris.
What an astonishingly strange thing to say.
You think men and women (yourself included) are 'shamelessly' engaged in 'hot conversation' on this forum?
You think we are all 'dating' each other here?

It very much seems you are a proponent of 'dating' which is your prerogative.
It also seems you joined this forum to meet other men.
Perhaps you should try the matrimonials section instead.

By the way, I do call some members here bhai, but only those whose posts are intelligent.
I did call you bhen before, which I wont make the mistake of doing again.

Critical_Thinker
Posts: 275
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Re: Dating Rule... so I'm talking to this guy

#27

Unread post by Critical_Thinker » Thu Oct 23, 2014 7:23 am

WiththenameofAllah wrote:She is another eg of adam who will run away when given facts and asked questions. really sister critical thinker come to Dubai and see for yourself what traditional bohras do and if this is also a norm in progressive bohras please be the first one to change this and In Sha Allah you will make a difference.
I have not been to dubai.
What do the traditional bohras do there?
Do they practice western style dating?

WiththenameofAllah
Posts: 230
Joined: Sat May 24, 2014 9:13 am

Re: Dating Rule... so I'm talking to this guy

#28

Unread post by WiththenameofAllah » Thu Oct 23, 2014 8:31 am

Critical_Thinker wrote:
WiththenameofAllah wrote:She is another eg of adam who will run away when given facts and asked questions. really sister critical thinker come to Dubai and see for yourself what traditional bohras do and if this is also a norm in progressive bohras please be the first one to change this and In Sha Allah you will make a difference.
I have not been to dubai.
What do the traditional bohras do there?
Do they practice western style dating?
To be very honest i do not know what dating means and what is western style dating. I dunno upto what limits you can bear the idea of dating but here during taruff programs men and women go to different places like desert safari and they enjoy seeing belly dances there.Then ofcourse men and women talk talk talk all the time.At times men even ask women to go for a movie :S . All this is not acceptable to me do not know about others.

qutub_mamajiwala
Posts: 1006
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Re: Dating Rule... so I'm talking to this guy

#29

Unread post by qutub_mamajiwala » Thu Oct 23, 2014 9:36 am

there is nothing wrong in it.
and is also not against islam.
but depends upon what islam u follow.
acceptable or not is a personal choice and i respect u for it.
but dont force it on others in the so called name of religion and purity and blah blah
what others do is thier choice. dont judge them with ur views

WiththenameofAllah
Posts: 230
Joined: Sat May 24, 2014 9:13 am

Re: Dating Rule... so I'm talking to this guy

#30

Unread post by WiththenameofAllah » Thu Oct 23, 2014 10:19 am

qutub_mamajiwala wrote: but dont force it on others in the so called name of religion and purity and blah blah
what others do is thier choice. dont judge them with ur views
Just read my message completely before commenting .. I wrote " All this is not acceptable to me do not know about others. "
i am not judging anyone neither preaching anyone.