Hilarious Quotes by PDB Forum Members ;)

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Conscíous
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Hilarious Quotes by PDB Forum Members ;)

#1

Unread post by Conscíous » Tue Mar 15, 2011 3:37 pm

Al Zulfiqar wrote: since you are so seized with this issue and you want a first hand answer, the only way for you and your fellow morons would be to go to udaipur, attend fajr prayers for a week and see and hear first hand whether they are reciting dai's names upto the 52nd. you will receive first class and warm hospitality and will be welcomed with open arms. your accomodation, food and everything else will be taken care of fully.



Conscíous
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Re: Hilarious Quotes by PDB Forum Members ;)

#2

Unread post by Conscíous » Tue Mar 15, 2011 3:53 pm

Humsafar wrote:anajmi has the annoying habit of a nagging wife (with apologies to all wives) to latch on to a phrase, twist it out of shape, repeat it out of context, and throw it at you when he has nothing sensible to say.
Br Anajmi,
you know, I have nothing against you :wink: It was just funny the way he said it.. hehe



Conscíous
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Re: Hilarious Quotes by PDB Forum Members ;)

#3

Unread post by Conscíous » Tue Mar 15, 2011 3:53 pm

Double cope deleted



murtaza2152
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Re: Hilarious Quotes by PDB Forum Members ;)

#4

Unread post by murtaza2152 » Wed Mar 16, 2011 4:07 am

BooM wrote:
Al Zulfiqar wrote: since you are so seized with this issue and you want a first hand answer, the only way for you and your fellow morons would be to go to udaipur, attend fajr prayers for a week and see and hear first hand whether they are reciting dai's names upto the 52nd. you will receive first class and warm hospitality and will be welcomed with open arms. your accomodation, food and everything else will be taken care of fully.
Zulfi is very much frustrated,about 46th Dai issue.....



Conscíous
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Re: Hilarious Quotes by PDB Forum Members ;)

#5

Unread post by Conscíous » Wed Mar 16, 2011 4:57 am

Humsafar wrote: Why do have this annoying habit of wrapping your sentences after every few words? Please write in straight sentence and let the words wrap naturally. Thanks.
Humsafar wrote:It's not a view, idiot. This is the way things are.

If you don't do ziyarat and celebrate Urs then it's ok to destroy a grave, huh??? Where do you get your logic and humanity from? I'm hoping not from your masters?



labbaikyaHussain
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Re: Hilarious Quotes by PDB Forum Members ;)

#6

Unread post by labbaikyaHussain » Wed Mar 16, 2011 5:03 am

actually whole of this forum shud be named www.funnyjokershouse.com



Conscíous
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Re: Hilarious Quotes by PDB Forum Members ;)

#7

Unread post by Conscíous » Wed Mar 16, 2011 5:13 am

like_minded wrote:Its like.... being called YELLOW by a bunch of BANANAS! :mrgreen:
Al Zulfiqar wrote:when all their false show of mourning and crocodile tears suddenly vanish and their beady eyes scout around for the best thaal, the best piece of meat in the bowl, how to cunningly swipe the gurda and nalli from the guy sitting next to you, how to monopolise the chamchi while the bowls are being filled so you have first chance to corner all the gosht, how to catch the eye of your bosom buddy who is roaming around with the jaman and ask him for sly seconds,



Conscíous
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#8

Unread post by Conscíous » Thu Mar 17, 2011 6:48 pm

Al Zulfiqar wrote:in the latest breaking news, it has been announced that to mark the occasion of syedna's 100th, no er... 95th, oops 99th, heck ok... 100th salgirah, all bilad jamaats must undertake a continous maatam of 100 hours.

if they can all do this together, fine. otherwise relay teams must be formed, each team can carry on for say 2-3 hours and then the other team will take over, each team will get rest for 6 hours and return. during their rest time they will get breakfast, lunch or dinner as suitable. all the maatamdaran's sweat and blood stained torn kurta saayas will be sent to saifee mahal by fedex and then hung and displayed from the windows of saifee mahal from all sides. sydena will do phoonk of these shirts and then send them to each respective jamaat. the shirts can be collected from their jamaats on payment of 15552 rs. or equivalent.

su nirali shaan che apna maula ni....!!!!



Conscíous
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Re: Hilarious Quotes by PDB Forum Members ;)

#9

Unread post by Conscíous » Fri Mar 18, 2011 1:55 pm

Al Zulfiqar wrote:
murtaza2152 wrote:
If no one does Zyarat ,how were flowers on his so called HOLY grave??
that is a moajiza, the same type performed by syedna all the time. only this was done by the imammuzzaman himself.



Conscíous
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#10

Unread post by Conscíous » Sat Mar 19, 2011 12:10 am

labbaikyaHussain wrote:if u dont do this u are prooved kafir coz no one including Muhammed(saw) ever took such help from machines to avoid death.so folow his sunnah and avoid all life supporting machines.
stranger wrote:
canadian wrote: Stranger,
Is it o k for bohras to curse the first three khalifas who are respectd by majority of muslims?
What we are doing, is doing inside our mosque,in our wahaz,on our belief..



Conscíous
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#11

Unread post by Conscíous » Sun Mar 20, 2011 10:21 am

Muslim First wrote:Stranger

You must be only screwball on this site who dictates who should answer and who should participate in the forum.

Buzz off brother

Wasalaam



asif786
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Re: Hilarious Quotes by PDB Forum Members ;)

#12

Unread post by asif786 » Mon Mar 21, 2011 3:00 am

Re: Bohra marriages
by Al Zulfiqar on Sun Mar 20, 2011 9:47 pm

you are right, porus.

see, the world does not understand the greatness and uniqueness of the syedna. he was a miracle baby from the start. he lived for 9 months + 1 year in his mother's womb. so that makes him a year older at birth already. this is unique in the annals of human civilisation. never has a baby been born who was carried for so long by its mother. neither the prophets, nor imams nor any of the panjatan. this was a sign from allah about the greatness of the syedna's soul.

the reason why allah did this was not only to show the world the miracle of the syedna's birth, but also to show the patience, fortitude and nobility of his mother. she not only bore him with great love, but displayed tremendous endurance at carrying him for this entire period. that is why she is accorded the highest honor in the bohra community today. her urus is celebrated with great reverence and enthusiasm, her ziyarat is done by millions of bohras every year and her memory is enshrined with a grand monument rivalling that of raudat tahera. she is remembered at every zikra vaez in surat and references to her are mandatory at every majlis, sitaabi, or religious occasion. she is as much an integral part of our lives as she was of the miraculous baby she gave birth to.

with these circumstances having prevailed even before syedna was born, why should anyone dispute the fact that he was already one year old when he was born? the world will never understand. as god sent down his only son jesus to this earth to save mankind, so has allah sent syedna as his own manifestation on earth. no wonder bohras proudly proclaim him as the noor of allah, veritably allah's own progeny, and naturally the syedna's family, as the descendants of this miraculous baby, being divine in their own right.

in fact, little do know the doubters and unbelievers know, but the syedna is actually 200 years old. allah has given him the amazing ability or privilege to acquire and absorb double of all the wisdom and knowledge in one year that any ordinary human being can barely manage in 2 years. this fact is only known to those who attend sabaks and reach its ultimate level - darajjatul akhira - where all these interesting facts are revealed in total secrecy. now is the right time to let the entire world and all of allah's creations know about the syedna and his even more greater mother. let us tear apart these curtains of hidden truths and let everyone be aware of who we are, the proud ashraful makhluqat abde bohras of allah's noor, our syedna.

now that each bohra knows the truth, you must bring 200 candles for his cake, 200 full 1 oz. gold guineas for his najwa and do 200 sajdas for syedna after each namaaz. indeed bohras are the most blessed on earth to have this noor of allah himself, allah's son, allah's brother and allah's holy spirit amongst us.



Conscíous
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Re: Hilarious Quotes by PDB Forum Members ;)

#13

Unread post by Conscíous » Mon Mar 21, 2011 9:35 pm

seeker110 wrote:"Fell by wayside in a hurry like a piece of soiled toilet paper"
You really mean Safai chithie.



Conscíous
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#14

Unread post by Conscíous » Mon Mar 21, 2011 9:41 pm

labbaikyaHussain wrote: your types of such kuffars of islaam who always demanded miracles to belive in from all the prophets...but when ever miracle or reply was given to them they run away and never did tauba and died kaffir and munafiq.



Conscíous
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#15

Unread post by Conscíous » Tue Mar 22, 2011 11:25 am

porus wrote:According to Bohra religion, zakaat is paid to Haq na saheb. Haq na saheb can do whatever he wants to do with it.

Haq na Saheb decides according to ilhaam he receives from Imam-uz-zamaan who, like Allah himself, is hidden. These hidden entities, Allah and Imam-uz-zamaan, have dailly meetings with each other and whisper into the ears of Haq na saheb what he should do with zakaat money.



broadminded
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Re: Hilarious Quotes by PDB Forum Members ;)

#16

Unread post by broadminded » Tue Mar 22, 2011 2:51 pm

As each post by AZ is superior than the previous, they are worthy of induction in the board's hall of fame!



Conscíous
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#17

Unread post by Conscíous » Tue Mar 22, 2011 6:14 pm

Al Zulfiqar wrote: worry not. when you sleep tonight, take mola's niyyat and he will appear in your dreams and answer your question as he does for thousands of his abdes around the world. if he does not and you cannot get the answer then there is something wrong in your imaan, you are a munafiq whom the syedna will utter laanats on in this coming friday's khutba. he may also do your shikar alongwith the lions and elephants he murders after every ashura in africa.



udrbohri
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Re: Hilarious Quotes by PDB Forum Members ;)

#18

Unread post by udrbohri » Tue Mar 29, 2011 2:05 pm

Observing conversations on this forum from quite some time. With few exception, almost all people quote from some or other source.

Very few are there who put forward their points based on reality and being human.

May I take this opportunity to thanks BooM for his effort on presenting such a nice collection.
Indeed AlZulfikar bhai is gem in expressing thoughts on current bohra affairs.

Wonder how people get involved so much in celebration of Milad/Ziyaafat/Salaam/Darees[most of time sleeping]
and there are scores of fellow being who may have get benefits if expenditures on celebration had been.....



Conscíous
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#19

Unread post by Conscíous » Wed Mar 30, 2011 8:37 pm

Thanks Br or Sis udrbohri 8)



Conscíous
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#20

Unread post by Conscíous » Sat Apr 02, 2011 5:50 pm

truebohra wrote:Grace of Allah is only availably when you recognize the Imam -U- Zaman. Who will help you recognize the Imam of time in Satr, ofcourse but Dai-zaman.



Conscíous
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#21

Unread post by Conscíous » Sat Apr 02, 2011 5:57 pm

murtaza2152 wrote: Whatever Allah wills is the will of Dai,,And whatever Dai wills is the will of Allah.......



Conscíous
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#22

Unread post by Conscíous » Tue Apr 05, 2011 1:51 pm

seeker110 wrote:That is why I always say Ghanu jivo ghanu jivo.This is the only way we can see evil punished for the evil deeds.No rest for the old man.Collect money until your last breath,enjoy the pain yourself.The rest of your family will end the same way.



Conscíous
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#23

Unread post by Conscíous » Wed Apr 06, 2011 5:52 pm

Al Zulfiqar wrote:discover a comet which would keep circulating the universe carrying the banner of syedna MB.



Conscíous
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#24

Unread post by Conscíous » Wed Apr 06, 2011 6:12 pm

seeker110 wrote:New rule from Kothar,"Due to too many guns and revolting nature of Bohra youth,all Bhaisahebs.sheikhs.mulas amils and Molas family including mola will wear camouflage uniform.
Al Zulfiqar wrote:new rules contd...(as revealed by deep throat situated high in the hierarchy of saifee mahal)

32) with the tempo of syedna's moajiza's having increased suddenly by leaps and bounds and as more and more abdes are crawling out of the woodwork daily, claiming miracles involving the thought, sight or mention of syedna, casting aside their inhibitions and baring all in public; the head-honcho committee of saifee mahal have decided now to present an ongoing regular platform for such deeply and mentally affected bohras. a farmaan has been sent out to all jamaats in all bilads and moze's to hold a monthly 'mojiza special' majlis every month. this will be held on the last sunday of every month, provided of course there is no darees, sitaabi, shaadi, misaak, mayyat, cricket match live relay, etc function. otherwise the next convenient day preceding or post this date will be fixed.

during this majlis all bohras who have personal mojizas to recall will be given the full and free opportunity to recount how and when syedna performed a miracle for them or their immediate family and friends circle. this can also include acquaintances, people in your neighbourhood, mohalla, sub-division, constituency, borough, village, town, corporation, or province and state, as long as you have a convincing story dripping with faith and drama. all such mojizas will be recorded and sent to vazaratus saifiyah for archiving. it is expected that every year a holy book of syedna's miracles will be published and every bohra family will be alloted a hadiya of the same, on nominal payment of $ 52/= per copy. every such majlis will be followed by labrez gourmet jaman.

as an incentive to normally shy and bashful abdes to come forward and recount their 'syedna miracles', a one year's special promotion will be offered to include tarteeb bethaks for all such mojizati's, special raza to wear red saaya, kurta and topis, and get double khaaras, mithaas and suko mewo and paan packets, those with extremely moving miracle saga's might get mafsuhiyat or hadiyat. the names of all abdes worldwide who have experienced mojizas will be fed into a lucky draw and ten lucky winners will get the azeemusshaan sharaf of personal kadambosi with syedna. of course, in order to cover the organisational costs, all such naseebdars will be asked to present a token najwa to syedna of Rs 52 lakhs each.

su eni niraali shaan che, mola na hamara upar beshumaar ehsaan chhe.!!



Conscíous
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#25

Unread post by Conscíous » Mon Apr 18, 2011 4:13 pm

Al Zulfiqar wrote: when an abde gets used to doing sajdas on a regular basis, the distinguishing lines between sajdas of various types will get blurred and confused and ergo! abdes will never question a sajda ever again.
Al Zulfiqar wrote: a positive fallout of these sajdas to all figures in authority will lead to better health for abdes and slimmer waistlines too. another miracle attributed to syedna!



Conscíous
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#26

Unread post by Conscíous » Fri Apr 22, 2011 10:12 am

Al Zulfiqar wrote:pesticide, prof and other kafir morons,

instead of foaming at the mouth here, take up arms against allah and utter laanats against him for making rules inconvenient to syedna and his family who encourage shirk.

i know your excitement at finding something worth digging your fangs into is reaching orgasmic levels but then you guys have always looked for cheap thrills in an otherwise mundane, undignified slave's life. your hormones are dangerously approaching the critical level, and unless curbed may lead to your becoming a danget to yrself and society.



Conscíous
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#27

Unread post by Conscíous » Sat Apr 23, 2011 4:31 pm

Al Zulfiqar wrote: the mukasir is being re-located into the attic above saifee mahal. his job from now on is to identify passages in the quran which could by whatever remote stretch of logic allude to the imaginary greatness and worldly, materialistic achievements of the ex syedna TS and the present syedna MB. he will also be instructed to study and scrutinise obscure passages from our old deeni scriptures and locate any references which can support the so-called discoveries from the quran. knowing the ilm and sharp mind of the mukasir, this job is a tacit admission of his prowess and capability. the mukasir will be given 2 staff of his choosing from the jamea or any institute of his choice who excel at quranic studies and arabic, so that they can assist in this stupendous task. the mukasir's mandate will also include formulating changes in our namaz, duas and recitations which would extol and shower praise on the present syedna and subtly but gradually inculcate values of fanatical devotion and total obedience to the dai, thus elevating dai to level of allah ul mutlaq. for every breakthrough discovery and revolutionary change, mukasir and his family will be rewarded in a suitable manner, with gifts of plots of land, choice amalats, public photo-ops and write-ups on maalumat and other loyal sites. the controls to the elevators operating in saifee mahal are being changed to skip the attic on the topmost floor so that mukasir can work in peace undisturbed. even the food and refreshments for him will be passed by a special remote controlled pulley so that human contact with the mukasir can be kept at a minimum. a deeply searching mind works best in isolation, is the theory. several earth shaking revelations are expected once mukasir saab takes up this assignment.



Conscíous
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#28

Unread post by Conscíous » Sun Apr 24, 2011 5:34 pm

Al Zulfiqar wrote:
murtaza2152 wrote:CONTACT YOUR AAMIL AND DO ARZI TO MOLA OR SEEK ADVICE FROM AAMIL....AND DONT BE CHILDISH AND DONT POST RIDICULOUS THINGS LIKE THIS..
YOUR WELLWISHER,
MURTAZA.
murtu,
he is short of money. can you please lend him 552 rs so he can go to amil or send arzi? if amil's advice backfires and he suffers even more, will you please provide your address here so that he can come and see you?



Conscíous
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#29

Unread post by Conscíous » Sun Apr 24, 2011 6:06 pm

sixfeetunder wrote:Assalaamualaikum,

I received the following text in an email. I am not sure whether it is a joke or a hoax! Decide for yourself!! Comments invited!

The United Nations has Declared 25th March As International Burhanuddin Day.
This Friday, the 25th of March will be a public holiday in all Muslim countries.

The UN has also passed a Vote on The Yemeni Crisis where, on the event of President Ali Abdullah Saleh, leaving office, which can be as early as the 25th of March 2011, Syedna Mohmaed Burhanuddin, the Sultan e Yemen shall arrive in Sanna to take over ruling of the country.

The seat of Dawaat shall revert back from Surat, India to Yemen where it had originally come from 600 years ago.

Prince Muffadhal shall take over the portfolio of the Prime Minister and Finance
while Prince Badri Jamal shall be the Trade Minister and the Governor of the Central Bank of Yemen.

Other ministerial portfolios shall be offered to the remaining 5 Princes and three Princesses.
The Capital City of Sanna will be renamed as “Bohra Serai”
Al Zulfiqar wrote:as for the syedna taking over yemen news, no, that is not instigated by me. i absolutely do not take responsibility for propelling syedna and his family into politics. it would be blasphemy to expect such a spiritual family who live lives of austerity and simplicity, far away from the trappings of this material and political world, to think of dabbling in politics and the games of power, money and influence.

it would be a travesty of islam and our deen to even think such sacrilegious thoughts. our syedna and his angelic family have always preferred to stay away from this evil world of ambition, temporal power and worldly titles and the lifestyle of palaces, luxury cruises and first class travel. while the rest of the bohra world feasts daily on DCP with G (dal chawal palidu with gosht), malido and russian kababs, the holy family dines on simple khichdi palidu eaten with watery sarwo and 3 day old dried, hard rotis.

please, never associate me with such a moral outrage!



Conscíous
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#30

Unread post by Conscíous » Wed May 04, 2011 3:35 pm

Biradar wrote:One must admit that the progressives have not "achieved" the dubious distinction of having photo-ops with rich and famous, the tyrants and the thugs of this world. They have also failed to "achieve" a lot of wealth by what amounts to as stealing from the community. They have also failed to "achieve" imposing their will on all the community members, and failed from robbing them of their rich identities and failed to convert them to bland uniform-wearing chest-thumping slaves.