Funny Two Liners

Lighten up a little and talk about movies, music, books and recipes and more... this forum provides the flip side to the intense and serious discussion taking place in other forums. No topic is off-limit here so long as it is within the accepted norms of decency and decorum.
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Joined: Sun Nov 20, 2011 2:30 am

Funny Two Liners


Unread post by humanbeing » Sun Mar 18, 2012 11:21 am

• The difference between in-laws and outlaws?
Outlaws are wanted.

• Alcohol is a perfect solvent:
It dissolves marriages, families and careers.

• A fine is a tax for doing wrong.
A tax is a fine for doing well.

• Archeologist: someone whose career lies in ruins.

• An archaeologist is the best husband any woman can have:
The older she gets, the more interested he becomes in her.

• There are two kinds of people who don't say much:
those who are quiet and those who talk a lot.

• They say that alcohol kills slowly.
So what? Who's in a hurry?

• Alcohol and calculus don't mix.
Never drink and derive

• One nice thing about egotists:
They don't talk about other people.

• There was a man who said,
"I never knew what happiness was until I got married..."
and then it was too late

• Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves.
After marriage, the 'Y' becomes silent.