• The difference between in-laws and outlaws?
Outlaws are wanted.
• Alcohol is a perfect solvent:
It dissolves marriages, families and careers.
• A fine is a tax for doing wrong.
A tax is a fine for doing well.
• Archeologist: someone whose career lies in ruins.
• An archaeologist is the best husband any woman can have:
The older she gets, the more interested he becomes in her.
• There are two kinds of people who don't say much:
those who are quiet and those who talk a lot.
• They say that alcohol kills slowly.
So what? Who's in a hurry?
• Alcohol and calculus don't mix.
Never drink and derive
• One nice thing about egotists:
They don't talk about other people.
• There was a man who said,
"I never knew what happiness was until I got married..."
and then it was too late
• Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves.
After marriage, the 'Y' becomes silent.
