plzzz help in Divorce case

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yousufali56
Posts: 7
Joined: Wed Oct 09, 2013 10:08 am

plzzz help in Divorce case

#1

Unread post by yousufali56 » Wed Oct 09, 2013 4:07 pm

Please i need help as my wife & her parents made me sign divorce papers .I never wanted to leave her & sign papers .i still want her in my life & want to cancel those papers..Even i told to aamil sahab that i need time as it was just one week before they told me about divorce and it was very shocking for me as i went to her house to take her back normally but they took me to jamat and started to ask for divorce even i felt guilty for whatever reason they were putting in front of ammil sahab. i did accepted & told them i will make her every wish fulfill & i pleaded them to forgive whatever hapend & i wanted to make her happy as i have realized my mistakes although we were happy and it was just normal up & down in our 1 year married life . But they were in hurry n told they dont want to waste further time & dont believe me..i told aamil sahab that i will sign papers to make them believe but papers will be with aamil sahab and give us 06 months at least and if they feel that i am wrong then i wont stop them for taking divorce papers as i knew she is angry n taking decision in hurry. so i signed papers & it was with aamil sahab & i told her that i am waiting for her & we will have normal talk so that i can clear all differences and clear her heart from watevr hapnd.
But after i came back from their place they stopped lifitng my phone & told me its over..i called aamil sahab and he told that her dad took papers..i was shocked & got depressed .. since then i am calling them daily but no response.I am depressed & without her my life is nothing. i want to give her all hapiness & we will be happy couple sure..please help me as i want to cancel those divorce papers & tell them that she is still my wife. I never want to divorce her..please help me. I want her to take time and talk to me atleast so that we can clear all distances..divorce is extreme step but she is not understanding that and i am sure time will make her realize.. plzz help me as i did big mistake by signing papers just for her belief & hapiness but i never knew that after this they will be more relax and wont think about patch up. i want her back in my life & cancel those papers as it was not my wish to divorce & i was forced to do at that time. i went alone & my family members were not with me .Even i told aamil sahab that i am in depressed state of mind for this but he assured me & told dont worry now u do it as he will not be having time further ..PLZZZ GUIDE & HELP ME to take her back in my life. Thanks



ghulam muhammed
Posts: 11653
Joined: Tue Oct 07, 2008 5:34 pm

Re: plzzz help in Divorce case

#2

Unread post by ghulam muhammed » Wed Oct 09, 2013 4:45 pm

The most important thing here is not how you feel (according to kothar), it is how much pull you have in their administration. If your in-laws are rich hardcore abdes who give a sizeable amount in wajebat then you have very little chance. Its all about pulling the strings at the right places.



yousufali56
Posts: 7
Joined: Wed Oct 09, 2013 10:08 am

Re: plzzz help in Divorce case

#3

Unread post by yousufali56 » Wed Oct 09, 2013 5:08 pm

ya but aqa maula made them in that position to do fair justice and analysed decision making rather doing business or making money at all situations ..Then where we bohra should go for right direction & unbiased decision making???



ghulam muhammed
Posts: 11653
Joined: Tue Oct 07, 2008 5:34 pm

Re: plzzz help in Divorce case

#4

Unread post by ghulam muhammed » Wed Oct 09, 2013 5:11 pm

Go to the court of law, no one can stop you from doing so and there are many cases wherein bohras have approached the court and many cases that were fought by bohra advocates like Yusuf Muchala who is supposed to be a diehard abde.



Al Fateh
Posts: 220
Joined: Wed Nov 07, 2012 4:42 pm

Re: plzzz help in Divorce case

#5

Unread post by Al Fateh » Wed Oct 09, 2013 5:16 pm

boat is sailed



yousufali56
Posts: 7
Joined: Wed Oct 09, 2013 10:08 am

Re: plzzz help in Divorce case

#6

Unread post by yousufali56 » Wed Oct 09, 2013 5:21 pm

ghulam muhammed wrote:Go to the court of law, no one can stop you from doing so and there are many cases wherein bohras have approached the court and many cases that were fought by bohra advocates like Yusuf Muchala who is supposed to be a diehard abde.
Can you please provide contact no of any one ? but is it fair that without any witness from myside , divorce papers are valid?



yousufali56
Posts: 7
Joined: Wed Oct 09, 2013 10:08 am

Re: plzzz help in Divorce case

#7

Unread post by yousufali56 » Wed Oct 09, 2013 5:25 pm

Al Fateh wrote:boat is sailed
I want to try my best as i love her n want her back in my life . is there anyway those papers can be proved invalid as it was against my wish & i was forced



Al Fateh
Posts: 220
Joined: Wed Nov 07, 2012 4:42 pm

Re: plzzz help in Divorce case

#8

Unread post by Al Fateh » Wed Oct 09, 2013 5:37 pm

yousufali56 wrote:
Al Fateh wrote:boat is sailed
I want to try my best as i love her n want her back in my life . is there anyway those papers can be proved invalid as it was against my wish & i was forced
I can already sense u love her lot, but unfortunately it seems she is one more brain washed amte who is more in love with muffy and kothari chamchas than her husband and children, if that is the case u are better alone than with her.

time will heal all your problems, trust ALLAH, and belive me ALLAH does every thing for a reason and if you truely belive in ALLAH he will never harm you.



Safiuddin
Posts: 546
Joined: Sat Jul 28, 2007 4:01 am

Re: plzzz help in Divorce case

#9

Unread post by Safiuddin » Wed Oct 09, 2013 8:27 pm

since then i am calling them daily but no response.I am depressed & without her my life is nothing. i want to give her all hapiness & we will be happy couple sure..please help me as i want to cancel those divorce papers & tell them that she is still my wife. I never want to divorce her..please help me.
Mr Yusufali,

I really do hope that this was a satirical piece - but in case it's not, then it's clearly apparent from your post that you're under a great deal of social, psychological, and likely financial stress. This must be quite upsetting for you. I'm certain you've realized that your life has been split asunder by the decisions you've made, and the actions that you took while getting to this ostensibly young age in your tenure here on earth. In case you haven't realized this yet, sit down, take some deep breaths, and listen carefully. Maybe this will help you manage this time in your life.

1. This will be hard to swallow: Get rid of your belief that your bhaisaheb or your aqa moula has any interest in your well being. If you want your divorce proceedings to stop - talk to an attorney, and get some professional help to negotiate this. Your local aamil isn't your only resource.

2. You claim that those papers can be proved invalid because it was against your wish and you were forced. The only thing invalid here is that you believe it. It was YOUR hand that signed. Your wife's hand didn't appear from the side, your mother-in law's hand wasn't wrapped around your your's, and your bhaisaheb's hand was probably holding your salaam envelope.
You sat in front of someone and he witnessed, as you put YOUR hand to the paper and signed the document. If you were forced, as you claim - then I assume you're prepared to provide evidence? Since you went alone, was it the aamil that forced your hand? Was your hand broken and bruised by him? Was it in a cast from being squeezed and forced to write on paper? Can you share with us which bones were broken? I think not.
So take responsibility for what you've done.

3. You state that you went alone and signed papers & it was with aamil sahab, yet you also you claim there was no witness from your side - thus you are alleging a forgery? If so, how can that be when you said you signed the papers yourself? Your argument lacks any clear details, and is full of inconsistencies.
In this case, your integrity is now in question.

4. Again, Mr Yusufali I do hope you've written a piece of satire - in which case, it's quite good. I would cut down on the number of run-ons and fragments, though. In the event the former is is invalid, I suggest you avoid writing about your personal life on the Internet, find an attorney, and grow up.



zinger
Posts: 1951
Joined: Wed Sep 26, 2012 2:40 am

Re: plzzz help in Divorce case

#10

Unread post by zinger » Wed Oct 09, 2013 11:58 pm

Mr. YousofAli, while most of the replies to your problem are nothing but an excuse to bash the Bohra community, i think it would be best if you hired a good lawyer to intercede, if not finalize the divorce.

i too, cannot make up my mind as to the truthfulness of your problem, but i will take it at face value, hence the advise. dont expect anything from this forum other than abuses to our Dai

just like the people here said dont expect any help from the community, dont expect any help from this forum either.

get a good lawyer,get professional help. dont waste your time, energy and breath here



AMAFHH
Posts: 274
Joined: Mon Jul 16, 2012 3:19 am

Re: plzzz help in Divorce case

#11

Unread post by AMAFHH » Thu Oct 10, 2013 1:38 am

Brother Yusuf
what happened to you was really really Sad , and i would also say that the Aamil who was a Witness didn't do Justice
i would only suggest that if your wife is not supporting you in this case than there is no use to get her back ,because if she comes than may be after some years again you may have the same situation ,
May Allah guide you and ease your difficulties , Keep your Trust strong in Allah



Al Fateh
Posts: 220
Joined: Wed Nov 07, 2012 4:42 pm

Re: plzzz help in Divorce case

#12

Unread post by Al Fateh » Thu Oct 10, 2013 2:44 am

Imagine if so called amil-aka alim of this community is chor and not worth to trust, then what else can be expected from others.



Al Fateh
Posts: 220
Joined: Wed Nov 07, 2012 4:42 pm

Re: plzzz help in Divorce case

#13

Unread post by Al Fateh » Thu Oct 10, 2013 2:56 am

zinger wrote:Mr. YousofAli, while most of the replies to your problem are nothing but an excuse to bash the Bohra community, i think it would be best if you hired a good lawyer to intercede, if not finalize the divorce.

i too, cannot make up my mind as to the truthfulness of your problem, but i will take it at face value, hence the advise. dont expect anything from this forum other than abuses to our Dai

just like the people here said dont expect any help from the community, dont expect any help from this forum either.

get a good lawyer,get professional help. dont waste your time, energy and breath here
if a community member cannot expect from the community then from whom he shud expect with his social dealings?

btw this is not the first case when Amil was trusted with documents and handed it over to other parties for money, same thing I have seen in one of my relative incident, and this thing happened under the nose of mazoon,mukasir and also dai and his chanchas, and no justice is still done to that lady.



zinger
Posts: 1951
Joined: Wed Sep 26, 2012 2:40 am

Re: plzzz help in Divorce case

#14

Unread post by zinger » Thu Oct 10, 2013 3:16 am

AMAFHH wrote:Brother Yusuf
what happened to you was really really Sad , and i would also say that the Aamil who was a Witness didn't do Justice
i would only suggest that if your wife is not supporting you in this case than there is no use to get her back ,because if she comes than may be after some years again you may have the same situation ,
May Allah guide you and ease your difficulties , Keep your Trust strong in Allah
Mr Yusuf,

As sad as it may sound, i would agree with AMAFHH. i think it is very sad what has happened, but AMAFHH is correct, i think it is best to move on.

Im afraid there seems to be no hope at all in this marriage and i think it best if you end it sooner, rather than trying to prolong the pain.

the times ahead are going to be extremely difficult and painful, no doubt, you will need to be strong and you will have to see it through and you will pull through. i shall pray for Allah to give you strength in these difficult times, but more fervently than that, i shall pray that you two manage to get back together once again



Deerseye
Posts: 89
Joined: Fri Mar 22, 2013 10:30 am

Re: plzzz help in Divorce case

#15

Unread post by Deerseye » Thu Oct 10, 2013 6:09 am

Yousuf Bhai, this may sound mushy and filmy, but if you love somebody, let her go, if she truly loves you she will come back.if not ,your true partner is waiting somewhere, to enter your life. All said and done I have made a few observations about the office of aamil Saab. There is nothing like justice in our system. If you are soft spoken and financially average, then you cannot hold your own opinion. If you want to have any work done, either you have to be very loud, or goonda type or you have to be stinking rich. Period.



abde53
Posts: 296
Joined: Mon Jan 13, 2003 5:01 am

Re: plzzz help in Divorce case

#16

Unread post by abde53 » Thu Oct 10, 2013 9:39 am

Bhai Yusufali and everyone else
The most important thing is if you already divorced her in front of an Aamil and your Sasra and if your wife did not object, I do not think you can re marry her unless she is married to some other person, consumate the marriage and get divorce from the other person, follow the iddat and then she can re marry you, that is what I think is our Shariat,
People here only know your side of the story and you did say you had some problems but no one knows the other side of the story and people are making judgements.
Kothar and Aamils are very strict in agreeing to divorces and it is not as easy as everyone talking here. I know a case where even though party was very rich and influential still their divorce took one year. so everyone just do not blame Aamil Saheb and our Aqa Moula before you know the whole truth.



yousufali56
Posts: 7
Joined: Wed Oct 09, 2013 10:08 am

Re: plzzz help in Divorce case

#17

Unread post by yousufali56 » Thu Oct 10, 2013 10:41 am

abde53 wrote:Bhai Yusufali and everyone else
Kothar and Aamils are very strict in agreeing to divorces and it is not as easy as everyone talking here. I know a case where even though party was very rich and influential still their divorce took one year. so everyone just do not blame Aamil Saheb and our Aqa Moula before you know the whole truth.
Even i was of view that its srtict in jamat & they try maximum for patch up.But in my case it just one week & 04 meetings & aamil sahab took out papers & told me to sign...even they never listen my view & only her family views was being discussed ..i was not given chance to speak & watever they were saying to aamil sahab i was not arguing as i knew if i would be defensive then it can create more distances so i let them express & speak. I apologized for evrything & told them plzz give me atleast one chance to prove myself ..i wiil do evrything whatever they say & she will be alright as she is just angry & taking decision in hurry..so i told aamil sahab plzzz grant us time to talk normally & clear differences but he was of view that if she is not ready then kya fayda zabardasti karne ka...i told she needs time..but they were in hurry ..
what kind of justice is this that you r just listening one side point of view & just coming to conclusion that she dont want..when i am ready to accept all things & assure them in front of aamil shahb & even then they dont want to listen n believe then how come aamil sahab hurry up n tell me to sign ..



ghulam muhammed
Posts: 11653
Joined: Tue Oct 07, 2008 5:34 pm

Re: plzzz help in Divorce case

#18

Unread post by ghulam muhammed » Thu Oct 10, 2013 4:34 pm

yousufali56 wrote:what kind of justice is this that you r just listening one side point of view & just coming to conclusion
It is obvious that this 'One side' is more powerful then you and by power I mean that they are in good books of kothar as they must be showering enough money to them by way of wajebats and other extortions. Try to understand that this is a case of money and nothing else, your feelings mean nothing to them.



yousufali56
Posts: 7
Joined: Wed Oct 09, 2013 10:08 am

Re: plzzz help in Divorce case

#19

Unread post by yousufali56 » Thu Oct 10, 2013 5:56 pm

It is obvious that this 'One side' is more powerful then you and by power I mean that they are in good books of kothar as they must be showering enough money to them by way of wajebats and other extortions. Try to understand that this is a case of money and nothing else, your feelings mean nothing to them.
Ya right it can be possible ..now how to highlight this point to our community leaders & how to stop this unjustice..Who will listen to this happening & take appropriate action.?



Safiuddin
Posts: 546
Joined: Sat Jul 28, 2007 4:01 am

Re: plzzz help in Divorce case

#20

Unread post by Safiuddin » Fri Oct 11, 2013 7:13 pm

Mr. Yousufali,
Yes, you raise an important point - it's time to stop this injustice.

Returning to the subject of your post and your private message, I'm not familiar with
any attorneys that can assist you with your divorce proceedings. You should contact your local
professional law organizations, societies, and your local chamber of commerce.
You should ask people you know to refer you to a lawyer. Check your municipality's website
for local lawyers, etc. You can certainly call a few and have a consult. You have Internet access -
it wouldn't be hard to read a review or three.

I hope this helps - in future, please just write to me here, on the forum.
Thankx.



humanbeing
Posts: 2195
Joined: Sun Nov 20, 2011 2:30 am

Re: plzzz help in Divorce case

#21

Unread post by humanbeing » Sat Oct 12, 2013 5:47 am

abde53 wrote:Bhai Yusufali and everyone else
The most important thing is if you already divorced her in front of an Aamil and your Sasra and if your wife did not object, I do not think you can re marry her unless she is married to some other person, consumate the marriage and get divorce from the other person, follow the iddat and then she can re marry you, that is what I think is our Shariat.
Wow ! This is going to be scary for Yusuf Ali

@yusufali : There is something fishy in your story, my apologies for any wrong assumptions !

You & your wife seems to be young & immatured to handle institution of marriage,

Your marriage reached extreme edge to have outsiders get involved, That’s a shame !

You may have done something wrong, that is unacceptable under limits of marriage.

Your family is not helping you out ?

Over all , no one can help you, not the amil, not this forum. Sorry for the harsh words brother, you are on your own,



yousufali56
Posts: 7
Joined: Wed Oct 09, 2013 10:08 am

patch up after divorce

#22

Unread post by yousufali56 » Fri Oct 25, 2013 4:22 pm

how much chances of patch up after divocrce???..My wife took decision in hurry and anger .. but i hope after some time she will realise that divorce was a big mistake..i still love her & waiting for her..i have realised my mistakes & now i want to give her all hapiness..i dont know when she will believe and realise my feelings for her..it was only 1 year of marraige ...Does anyone know any real examples of couples having patch up after divorce & wat i should do to win her trust and love back..



Nafisa
Posts: 245
Joined: Wed Jun 03, 2009 4:19 pm

Re: patch up after divorce

#23

Unread post by Nafisa » Fri Oct 25, 2013 5:01 pm

When such kind of cases were refereed to Dai Nazim Dr. Taher Saifuddin Saheb he used to give Fatwa for Halala and he himself performed Nikah with him through the Vakalat of his Diwan Shaikh Ibrahim Yamani. Shaikh Ibrahim offered his services with pleasure as he was Shawqeen of such cases. After enjoying when the Shaikh satisfied he released the lady after receiving heavy Salaam from the one who was interested in her.



Nafisa
Posts: 245
Joined: Wed Jun 03, 2009 4:19 pm

Re: patch up after divorce

#24

Unread post by Nafisa » Fri Oct 25, 2013 5:04 pm

When such kind of cases were refereed to Dai Nazim Dr. Taher Saifuddin Saheb he used to give Fatwa for Halala and he himself performed Nikah with her through the Vakalat of his Diwan Shaikh Ibrahim Yamani. Shaikh Ibrahim offered his services with pleasure as he was Shawqeen of such cases. After enjoying when the Shaikh satisfied he released the lady after receiving heavy Salaam from the one who was interested in her. [/size]

Nafisa



Aftaab
Posts: 201
Joined: Wed Oct 23, 2013 9:23 pm

Re: patch up after divorce

#25

Unread post by Aftaab » Fri Oct 25, 2013 6:11 pm

@Nafisa

what if some lady is fat *** black ugly woman , would sheikh will offer his services?

just a question out of curiosity.



humanbeing
Posts: 2195
Joined: Sun Nov 20, 2011 2:30 am

Re: patch up after divorce

#26

Unread post by humanbeing » Sat Oct 26, 2013 1:07 am

Aftaab wrote:what if some lady is fat *** black ugly woman ,
NO offense meant ! but please this is wrong thinking. No one is ugly, everyone is created by Allah.

Please change your outlook.