I was raised in a very religious family of abdes and have been brainwashed all my life. Until last year I too was a brain dead zombie with a narrow mindset. I began having doubts earlier on but didn't acknowledge them till about a year ago. I no longer have faith in the institution of dawat.
What matters most to me now is the freedom to explore my faith on my own and find internal peace wherever that may lead me. Unfortunately that's easier said then done. At the moment my entire livelihood depends on my family, I live with them, am part of the family business and don't have any financial savings to start out on my own. Thankfully I'm not married yet. My family will never accept my differing beliefs and might cut me off completely. Not to mention it will cause them a lot of emotional hurt. Most of my friends are hardcore bohras too, I have seen how they react when someone even says a tiny statement against dawat. I can no longer keep pretending either, it sickens me to see everyone around me spineless and attribute every single aspect of their life to a mortal being.
I am sure many of you have been in similar situations. How did you deal with it?
I feel kinda stuck, need advice from those who have left mainstream bohras
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awakenedsoul
- Posts: 33
- Joined: Mon Apr 27, 2020 9:45 am
Re: I feel kinda stuck, need advice from those who have left mainstream bohras
So begin- where do you reside???
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Sheikh_Sajjad_Husain
- Posts: 58
- Joined: Mon May 25, 2020 7:37 am
Re: I feel kinda stuck, need advice from those who have left mainstream bohras
Why should you leave? This Dawat is attributed towards Imam al Zaman(as) from the progeny of Mohammed (SAW) you have given oath of allegiance to Imam al zaman(as) just like your forefathers who had embraced Islam and Iman at the hands of Duat's of great calibre and piety.
If you have realised the fallacy of what is being propagated today in the name of Dawat al haq then you should be grateful to Allah. Don't leave, rather educate yourself on the true philosophy of our faith and enlighten those around you slowly and steadily. Insha'Allah you will get reward for laying foundation for something great in future.
I too like you was a die hard fanatic, and it was very disturbing and stressful process to get out of that. But, alhumdolillah I am at peace today. My bai'at is to Imam al Zaman(as) he is my moula, Office of Dai al Mutlaq was created by his permission, don't think too much about the occupant, he is not infallible, even then he is our wali and we are bound to follow him as long as his diktats don't go against the command of Allah. Just like how are father is our wali, we are commanded to follow him, he does not have to be fallible for his command to be obeyed, only condition is that his command should not be against the command of Allah, in that case you are allowed to disobey him respectfully.
Not being a blind follower helps make take realistic decisions, as I am no longer doing everything expecting miracles all the time. I use reason, I am trying to study the message of Quran by referring to more than one translations.
have purchased, poonawala's daim al Islam in english, this is a good start for me.
Leaving the Dawat will leave your coming generations vulnerable to Wahabi and ithna ashari influences.
If you have realised the fallacy of what is being propagated today in the name of Dawat al haq then you should be grateful to Allah. Don't leave, rather educate yourself on the true philosophy of our faith and enlighten those around you slowly and steadily. Insha'Allah you will get reward for laying foundation for something great in future.
I too like you was a die hard fanatic, and it was very disturbing and stressful process to get out of that. But, alhumdolillah I am at peace today. My bai'at is to Imam al Zaman(as) he is my moula, Office of Dai al Mutlaq was created by his permission, don't think too much about the occupant, he is not infallible, even then he is our wali and we are bound to follow him as long as his diktats don't go against the command of Allah. Just like how are father is our wali, we are commanded to follow him, he does not have to be fallible for his command to be obeyed, only condition is that his command should not be against the command of Allah, in that case you are allowed to disobey him respectfully.
Not being a blind follower helps make take realistic decisions, as I am no longer doing everything expecting miracles all the time. I use reason, I am trying to study the message of Quran by referring to more than one translations.
have purchased, poonawala's daim al Islam in english, this is a good start for me.
Leaving the Dawat will leave your coming generations vulnerable to Wahabi and ithna ashari influences.
Re: I feel kinda stuck, need advice from those who have left mainstream bohras
Welcome to the club of the awakened, Brother (I'm assuming you are a male). You should congratulate yourself for crossing that mental rubicon even while being surrounded by diehard fanatics. How did this happen? Please let us know how you came to be awakened.
Your's is a tough situation, and I've never been in one such so can't really advise you what to do. But I can give you a few pointers. You will have to tread carefully, for I think your individual rebellion is not going to help anyone's case. You can't do it alone unless you're prepared to go out on a limb, never a good option if your livelihood depends on your family.
The first thing you should do is find allies among family and friends. You say that everybody is the same but still there must be one or two who might be willing to talk. Start by questioning little things and see where it goes. Sow doubts in their minds. Not an easy thing to do I know, but you won't know until you try. Say you have complete faith in the Dawat but... look at this (insert your peeve here). Mine would be this abject show of servility towards the top honcho, that is unislamic, joined palms and shouting Mola Mola is a behaviour of some shattered peasant society towards their deity. So bring up such outlandish behaviour which does not jive with Islamic values or even with our Bohra past. Bohras were never like this -- like puppets on a string. Talk about such things, use tact and be subtle. Show real examples from Islamic history and our traditions to prove your point, and for this you'll have to read up and educate yourself.
The idea is that when you have allies it will be easier to challenge the power dynamics in your family. The goal ideally should be change the minds of some in your family. All this will take time, but if this approach doesn't yield any result then we will have to see what we can do next. For now try this. Best.
Your's is a tough situation, and I've never been in one such so can't really advise you what to do. But I can give you a few pointers. You will have to tread carefully, for I think your individual rebellion is not going to help anyone's case. You can't do it alone unless you're prepared to go out on a limb, never a good option if your livelihood depends on your family.
The first thing you should do is find allies among family and friends. You say that everybody is the same but still there must be one or two who might be willing to talk. Start by questioning little things and see where it goes. Sow doubts in their minds. Not an easy thing to do I know, but you won't know until you try. Say you have complete faith in the Dawat but... look at this (insert your peeve here). Mine would be this abject show of servility towards the top honcho, that is unislamic, joined palms and shouting Mola Mola is a behaviour of some shattered peasant society towards their deity. So bring up such outlandish behaviour which does not jive with Islamic values or even with our Bohra past. Bohras were never like this -- like puppets on a string. Talk about such things, use tact and be subtle. Show real examples from Islamic history and our traditions to prove your point, and for this you'll have to read up and educate yourself.
The idea is that when you have allies it will be easier to challenge the power dynamics in your family. The goal ideally should be change the minds of some in your family. All this will take time, but if this approach doesn't yield any result then we will have to see what we can do next. For now try this. Best.
Re: I feel kinda stuck, need advice from those who have left mainstream bohras
You dont need to totally leave. I am still in fold but I just dont do fanatic things. Live your way without exposing your belief to others. Keep distance from ultra abde and amtes they will drag you to their level.
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awakenedsoul
- Posts: 33
- Joined: Mon Apr 27, 2020 9:45 am
Re: I feel kinda stuck, need advice from those who have left mainstream bohras
Br SBM
I reside in East Africa
Br Shk Sajjad Hussain
The world is not black and white as most people think. Just because I was born in a certain sect of Islam doesn't make it the ultimate true religion. I find it hard to believe that out of 6 billion people only a select few are guaranteed Jannah. And belief in a hidden imam? Why is he in seclusion when there is so much evil in the world? When men twist the very foundations of Islam to fit their purposes?
I have also started studying the Qur'an and am trying my best to understand and follow it's teachings.
Br Humsafar
Yes I am male. It wasn't an instantaneous realization but rather a gradual one. I always had doubts. I decided to step back and view everything I had been taught in an unbiased manner. This helped me see clearly the huge money making machine dawat really is, built on the backs of common bohras. All the while they systematically chip away our freedom and control every aspect of our life. I have been a low level volunteer in Jamaat and also attended a few ziyafats and bethaks. I don't see an ounce of divinity in SMS. I have witnessed blatant corruption and misuse of funds. I have seen how gullible bohras give away their hard earned savings in the form of over-exorbitant najwas in hope that their Dai will make their lives better. Observing all this sickened me and I realised that I want no part of it anymore. Everything about it is just wrong wrong wrong.
I have no intention to sow seeds of dissent and start a fitnah. If they decide to put their faith in the system and continue to turn a blind eye on what is really happening, it's their choice. Good for them. Faith is important and I can respect their views. To a point it actually works for some people. Plus have you met die hard abdes? Nah too much work. But thank you for your suggestion. Best way out I can see is bide my time, gain financial independence and go my way.
Br Redbox
Yes society and being a part of a community is important. Opening my eyes was the first step. I have been slowly distancing myself from the fanatics.
I reside in East Africa
Br Shk Sajjad Hussain
The world is not black and white as most people think. Just because I was born in a certain sect of Islam doesn't make it the ultimate true religion. I find it hard to believe that out of 6 billion people only a select few are guaranteed Jannah. And belief in a hidden imam? Why is he in seclusion when there is so much evil in the world? When men twist the very foundations of Islam to fit their purposes?
I have also started studying the Qur'an and am trying my best to understand and follow it's teachings.
Br Humsafar
Yes I am male. It wasn't an instantaneous realization but rather a gradual one. I always had doubts. I decided to step back and view everything I had been taught in an unbiased manner. This helped me see clearly the huge money making machine dawat really is, built on the backs of common bohras. All the while they systematically chip away our freedom and control every aspect of our life. I have been a low level volunteer in Jamaat and also attended a few ziyafats and bethaks. I don't see an ounce of divinity in SMS. I have witnessed blatant corruption and misuse of funds. I have seen how gullible bohras give away their hard earned savings in the form of over-exorbitant najwas in hope that their Dai will make their lives better. Observing all this sickened me and I realised that I want no part of it anymore. Everything about it is just wrong wrong wrong.
I have no intention to sow seeds of dissent and start a fitnah. If they decide to put their faith in the system and continue to turn a blind eye on what is really happening, it's their choice. Good for them. Faith is important and I can respect their views. To a point it actually works for some people. Plus have you met die hard abdes? Nah too much work. But thank you for your suggestion. Best way out I can see is bide my time, gain financial independence and go my way.
Br Redbox
Yes society and being a part of a community is important. Opening my eyes was the first step. I have been slowly distancing myself from the fanatics.
Re: I feel kinda stuck, need advice from those who have left mainstream bohras
awakenedsoul: I am a former Kenyan now living in Canada for the past 50 years. I last paid my wajebbat fifteen years ago. I do not possess a Jamaat ID card. I am 80 years old and enjoyed years and years participating in ALL things Bohri. They were exceptionally good; in that the community in my city was a homogenous group; strong family and communal ties. In the mid-sixtees beginning with the visit of 51 an undercurrent swept all that aside. Dress code was strictly imposed, wajebbat was ruthlessly collected, rasm, etc. were radical altered, etc.
Most people did not see it as 'grand' plan. Sherullah, Moharram and observation of urus that were so anxiously looked forward to underwent a transition. Over the last many years videos of 51 and 52 are played intermittently at all functions. Matam is the filler to whip up audiences.
My last attendance was a punishment to self. To sum it up: the Bohrism that I loved and grew up with is no more. Unlike many who say: 'Jawu pade che", I pity them. Because 'they' are the ones who prop up Kothar with ever-increasing contribution, attend occasions to be seen, succumb as fait accompli.
Most people did not see it as 'grand' plan. Sherullah, Moharram and observation of urus that were so anxiously looked forward to underwent a transition. Over the last many years videos of 51 and 52 are played intermittently at all functions. Matam is the filler to whip up audiences.
My last attendance was a punishment to self. To sum it up: the Bohrism that I loved and grew up with is no more. Unlike many who say: 'Jawu pade che", I pity them. Because 'they' are the ones who prop up Kothar with ever-increasing contribution, attend occasions to be seen, succumb as fait accompli.
Re: I feel kinda stuck, need advice from those who have left mainstream bohras
Advice from Canadian and American wont help much if you are living in India or Pakistan or Africa. Environment and community pressure is differrerent in all continents. My life in Australia was most peaceful because I was far away from all the idiots. So it all depends where are you located.
Re: I feel kinda stuck, need advice from those who have left mainstream bohras
Migration is great if there is no way out in your current location.
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Sheikh_Sajjad_Husain
- Posts: 58
- Joined: Mon May 25, 2020 7:37 am
Re: I feel kinda stuck, need advice from those who have left mainstream bohras
Dear Awakenedsoul,
It's good you are studying Qur'an. I pray that May Allah bless you with firm footing on Sirat al Mustaqim.
But, I would suggest you to take decisions and form opinions about beliefs after you have gained comprhensive knowledge of deen.
It's very brute to ask where is Imam when there is so much evil, by same logic, I can ask where is Allah when there is so much evil, infact this is the kind of arguments that are usually used by atheits.
To understand, why Imam(as) is in seclusion, try to study Sunnan e ilahi, then try to understand the concept of Imamat and once you will have marefat of Imam(as) then you will have answers to your questions.
I never implied that Jannah is a club with exclusive membership only for Bohra's.
Today Our community is victim of perversion and alteration in deen by the ruling class.
But that does not mean that our aqaid to be precise Shia-Fatemi-Ismaili-Mustali-Taiyyebi aqaaid is batil.
All I was suggesting was to work towards understanding the truth of our deen first before taking any drastic decision.
It's good you are studying Qur'an. I pray that May Allah bless you with firm footing on Sirat al Mustaqim.
But, I would suggest you to take decisions and form opinions about beliefs after you have gained comprhensive knowledge of deen.
It's very brute to ask where is Imam when there is so much evil, by same logic, I can ask where is Allah when there is so much evil, infact this is the kind of arguments that are usually used by atheits.
To understand, why Imam(as) is in seclusion, try to study Sunnan e ilahi, then try to understand the concept of Imamat and once you will have marefat of Imam(as) then you will have answers to your questions.
I never implied that Jannah is a club with exclusive membership only for Bohra's.
Today Our community is victim of perversion and alteration in deen by the ruling class.
But that does not mean that our aqaid to be precise Shia-Fatemi-Ismaili-Mustali-Taiyyebi aqaaid is batil.
All I was suggesting was to work towards understanding the truth of our deen first before taking any drastic decision.
Re: I feel kinda stuck, need advice from those who have left mainstream bohras
Br Awakendsoul
It makes is more difficult that you reside in East Africa where Goons have more power BUT they way to get out is going to be meticulous and slow process, We used to have two or three in the same situation as you are and the way they freed themselves is continue to be part of the family and the cult club. Unfortunately this forum is being monitored and any thing I post here will be transmitted to all the Jamaats in EA and they will take action. May be you and I can chat in PM.
It makes is more difficult that you reside in East Africa where Goons have more power BUT they way to get out is going to be meticulous and slow process, We used to have two or three in the same situation as you are and the way they freed themselves is continue to be part of the family and the cult club. Unfortunately this forum is being monitored and any thing I post here will be transmitted to all the Jamaats in EA and they will take action. May be you and I can chat in PM.
Re: I feel kinda stuck, need advice from those who have left mainstream bohras
There are some useful suggestions posted here. From reading up and understanding the writings of the Quran, Nahjul-Balagha, Daaimul Islam, etc. Perusing these will fortify your faith based on authentic sources. The dilemma of reconciling that with the drool that is dished out at gatherings, that is what is very difficult; unless you mentally filter out the wheat from the chaf. Aside from the pretentious payment of wajebbat, dressing up in Libase Anwar, suffering the humility of being relegated to the lowest echelon of 'tarteeb' sitting, etc. is too much to bear. SBM makes a very useful suggestion; the presumption being the family accepts and respects your views. To what end that would help 'free' you is debatable. Tens of thousands of Bohras are trudging along misfortunes similar to yours. May this Sher from renowned Shayar offer you strength:
Jahaan rahega waheen raushni tu laega
Kisi charagh ka apna makaan nahin hota
- Waseem Barelvi
Jahaan rahega waheen raushni tu laega
Kisi charagh ka apna makaan nahin hota
- Waseem Barelvi
Re: I feel kinda stuck, need advice from those who have left mainstream bohras
awakenedsoul: On second thought you will be well-advised to wait for the judgement in the High Court of Mumbai. For your information, two imposters are pleading to a Hindu judge to authenticate which one is lying less.
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awakenedsoul
- Posts: 33
- Joined: Mon Apr 27, 2020 9:45 am
Re: I feel kinda stuck, need advice from those who have left mainstream bohras
Br Mkenya
Sounds like those were pretty awesome times. Some of the elders also reminisce about how things were different back then. From what I've heard our community in Canada is liberal.
And your last post is a fitting summary of the succession issue
Br SBM
I agree, the amount of control and fanaticism in East Africa is staggering.
Sounds like those were pretty awesome times. Some of the elders also reminisce about how things were different back then. From what I've heard our community in Canada is liberal.
And your last post is a fitting summary of the succession issue
Sorry, I realize my statement concerning the current imam was ignorant and disrespectful to your beliefs. I have attended asbaaq and learnt about the concept of imamat, its just that I no longer have faith in that belief system. But thank you for your suggestions, I will try and continue to keep an open mind.Sheikh_Sajjad_Husain wrote: ↑Mon Jun 01, 2020 3:48 pm It's very brute to ask where is Imam when there is so much evil, by same logic, I can ask where is Allah when there is so much evil, infact this is the kind of arguments that are usually used by atheits.
To understand, why Imam(as) is in seclusion, try to study Sunnan e ilahi, then try to understand the concept of Imamat and once you will have marefat of Imam(as) then you will have answers to your questions.
Br SBM
I agree, the amount of control and fanaticism in East Africa is staggering.
Re: I feel kinda stuck, need advice from those who have left mainstream bohras
I have no doubt that present imposters are not dai but I don't have a doubt about the coming of Imam because it is validated by all sects of Islam.
Re: I feel kinda stuck, need advice from those who have left mainstream bohras
Br awakendsoul it seems you have made up your mind what you want to do, so good luck and godspeed.
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dal-chaval-palidu
- Posts: 764
- Joined: Tue Apr 15, 2014 12:46 am
Re: I feel kinda stuck, need advice from those who have left mainstream bohras
It is funny brother Mkenya, but I hope it is not accurate. I hope that one is right and other is wrong (at least in the matter of nass).
Re: I feel kinda stuck, need advice from those who have left mainstream bohras
But who will decide that NASS- A Hindu Judge not an IMAMI hope that one is right and other is wrong (at least in the matter of nass).
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Sheikh_Sajjad_Husain
- Posts: 58
- Joined: Mon May 25, 2020 7:37 am
Re: I feel kinda stuck, need advice from those who have left mainstream bohras
What's wrong with being a Hindu? Are Hindu's not capable of doing Justice? Any capable Judge irrespective of his religion can give a ruling on this.
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Crater Lake
- Posts: 362
- Joined: Thu Mar 20, 2014 10:46 pm
Re: I feel kinda stuck, need advice from those who have left mainstream bohras
I think you are looking at this the wrong way. The nass was decided by SMB with the taaeed of Imaam. The judge will determine who is speaking the truth. The guys who led multiple charades, a huge deception to mislead the community, forged signatures and letters or the person who was the Mazoon of SMB for 50 years. His most trusted second-in-command. Who has had one consistent narrative throughout.
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Crater Lake
- Posts: 362
- Joined: Thu Mar 20, 2014 10:46 pm
Re: I feel kinda stuck, need advice from those who have left mainstream bohras
Yes I think a Hindu is quite capable of judging lies. Bohras don’t have a patent on acuity or judgement. Quite the contrary!Sheikh_Sajjad_Husain wrote: ↑Wed Jun 03, 2020 9:51 am What's wrong with being a Hindu? Are Hindu's not capable of doing Justice? Any capable Judge irrespective of his religion can give a ruling on this.
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dal-chaval-palidu
- Posts: 764
- Joined: Tue Apr 15, 2014 12:46 am
Re: I feel kinda stuck, need advice from those who have left mainstream bohras
An "outsider" (in this case a judge, and his religion is not important) is more likely to decide the result objectively.Sheikh_Sajjad_Husain wrote: ↑Wed Jun 03, 2020 9:51 am What's wrong with being a Hindu? Are Hindu's not capable of doing Justice? Any capable Judge irrespective of his religion can give a ruling on this.
And an additional value of the court case, a big one, is so that the truth comes out in the open.
Re: I feel kinda stuck, need advice from those who have left mainstream bohras
awakenedsoul: Societal pressure aside, you have to search deep in your heart as to what you want. Both contenders and thousands of sadhus, aalims and others attract the human mass to follow their ways; be it to achieve jannat, or nirvana OR peace of mind. Posters on this forum would gladly advise you but ultimately you are on your own.
Re: I feel kinda stuck, need advice from those who have left mainstream bohras
I feel for you awakened soul, having been in a similar situation myself and coming from a staunch East African jamaat. It’s really hard when your family are so indoctrinated and blind followers. I can’t have any sort of discourse on any negative community issues with any immediate family members. Sad state of affairs. I hope we find some resolution and peace of mind.
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awakenedsoul
- Posts: 33
- Joined: Mon Apr 27, 2020 9:45 am
Re: I feel kinda stuck, need advice from those who have left mainstream bohras
Thank you for empathizing with me brother. It really is difficult to have a healthy discussion with my family members regarding deeni affairs. Whenever I raise an issue a heated argument ensues with them making silly statements like "the shaitan has put doubts in your head" and "apne samaj naa pare magar ehma hikmat hoi." The sad thing is that I actually pity them and feel sorry for them.Kalamro wrote: ↑Mon Jun 08, 2020 2:13 pm I feel for you awakened soul, having been in a similar situation myself and coming from a staunch East African jamaat. It’s really hard when your family are so indoctrinated and blind followers. I can’t have any sort of discourse on any negative community issues with any immediate family members. Sad state of affairs. I hope we find some resolution and peace of mind.
Re: I feel kinda stuck, need advice from those who have left mainstream bohras
Awakened soul - you could be me! Same situation here. I get you.
Re: I feel kinda stuck, need advice from those who have left mainstream bohras
Awakendsoul and Kalamro
Please do pity yourself and feel helpless. Allaha does NOT help those who do not help or try to help themselves. May be your path to salvation may be difficult but that is what we do remembrance during Moharram (now 24/7)
Please do pity yourself and feel helpless. Allaha does NOT help those who do not help or try to help themselves. May be your path to salvation may be difficult but that is what we do remembrance during Moharram (now 24/7)
Re: I feel kinda stuck, need advice from those who have left mainstream bohras
Br. awakenedsoul: I quote a sentence from your earlier post; which is "From what I've heard our community in Canada is liberal."
I am not sure what you mean by 'liberal'. I live in Canada and way back in the past when our numbers were small we organised religious activities ourselves. There was so much 'bhaicharo'. We rented church basements to hold functions. Little by little Kothar snuck in by the back door. Initially by giving 'Raza' and then appointing someone local to collect and remit sabil and finally sending a mullah as a point man. He roped-in a few 'yes-men', called them 'ayyans' and the stage was set to put the squeeze on. The transformation was so subtle. A 'liberal'
group of community-minded progressive people were transformed into eunuchs. Myriad of taxes, najwas, etc. were put in effect. A few like myself slid out of the charade. This Br. awakenedsoul is far from 'liberal'.
I am not sure what you mean by 'liberal'. I live in Canada and way back in the past when our numbers were small we organised religious activities ourselves. There was so much 'bhaicharo'. We rented church basements to hold functions. Little by little Kothar snuck in by the back door. Initially by giving 'Raza' and then appointing someone local to collect and remit sabil and finally sending a mullah as a point man. He roped-in a few 'yes-men', called them 'ayyans' and the stage was set to put the squeeze on. The transformation was so subtle. A 'liberal'
group of community-minded progressive people were transformed into eunuchs. Myriad of taxes, najwas, etc. were put in effect. A few like myself slid out of the charade. This Br. awakenedsoul is far from 'liberal'.
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bohra_manus
- Posts: 229
- Joined: Tue Nov 03, 2009 7:37 pm
Re: I feel kinda stuck, need advice from those who have left mainstream bohras
To add insult to the injury a huge influx of Abdes from Middle East, India, Pakistan and Africa has strengthened the Kothari Mafia. Our communities in Canada and USA is firmly under the grip of Kothar.Mkenya wrote: ↑Fri Jul 17, 2020 3:40 pm Br. awakenedsoul: I quote a sentence from your earlier post; which is "From what I've heard our community in Canada is liberal."
I am not sure what you mean by 'liberal'. I live in Canada and way back in the past when our numbers were small we organised religious activities ourselves. There was so much 'bhaicharo'. We rented church basements to hold functions. Little by little Kothar snuck in by the back door. Initially by giving 'Raza' and then appointing someone local to collect and remit sabil and finally sending a mullah as a point man. He roped-in a few 'yes-men', called them 'ayyans' and the stage was set to put the squeeze on. The transformation was so subtle. A 'liberal'
group of community-minded progressive people were transformed into eunuchs. Myriad of taxes, najwas, etc. were put in effect. A few like myself slid out of the charade. This Br. awakenedsoul is far from 'liberal'.
Re: I feel kinda stuck, need advice from those who have left mainstream bohras
I would not go that far that Kothar has firm grip, Kothari Goons specially the Higher Up Dons are NOT visiting USA and Canada that frequently.Our communities in Canada and USA is firmly under the grip of Kothar.