Proggy gets a lesson in Haqiqat.

The one and only free public forum for Bohras. The focus of this forum is the reform movement, the Dawoodi Bohra faith and, of course, the corrupt priesthood. But the discussion is in no way restricted to the Bohras alone.
porus
Posts: 3594
Joined: Thu Dec 13, 2001 5:01 am

Re: Proggy gets a lesson in Haqiqat.

#31

Unread post by porus » Wed May 16, 2012 5:10 pm

Humsafar,

I took your advice and marched into the presence of Amil with a fat envelope and properly attired in Ijar, Kurta, Saya and Kasab ni Topi. Amil saw me with my properly unkempt Salt and Pepper beard (more salt than pepper!) and felt a bit of rehmat come over him. I aided him by falling at his feet, kissing his thighs profusely and offering him the fat envelope with salaam. I made 'rowa jevu muh' and began sobbing uncontrollably. He calmed me and asked me to do araz of maghfirat in Hazrat-e-Aaliya Qudasniya. I agreed and he let me stay in the Sabak.

I am absolutely dumbfounded at your perspicacity regarding the advanced levels of Haqiqat. I think that you have been attending sabaks for some time without letting us in! Now the secret is out :!:

Yoga was actually founded by our Leader. It was renegades like Maharishi Patanjali who adulterated its pure teachings. It has always been referred to as Haqiqi Yoga but is normally changed to Yoga with name of the current Leader prepended to it. So we have Burhani Yoga which was earlier known as Saifi Yoga etc.

Haqiqi Yoga is purely mental and has no physical asanas. All asanas in Haqiqi Yoga are mental and, in advanced stages, purely spiritual. As you rightly point out, 'Satya Kheench Asana' is one of the all-time favorites of all our Leaders and adept abdes like Adam are selected for special training in it.

An example of this asana is what I heard Amil say to our wayward Progressive:

P: Now that NaMO has a share of our Leader's Divine Light, can we consider NaMO Masoom too? Can he ever make a mistake?

A: You have a good question. I personally think that we can consider him Masoom but I will need to confirm this with Vazaraat and seek our Leader's raza to impart the information. Please do not mention this to anyone until I get a response from Zazaraat.

The above asana is called 'Chela wartan Guru' asana. It is so named because Amil gets an idea from his student that could be deemed for inclusion into Haqiqi Yoga Sutra.

Do not get misled by these Sanskrit sounding names. They are truly Haqiqi and very soon Lisan-e-Daawat equivalents will be announced.

Humsafar
Posts: 2623
Joined: Sat Dec 16, 2000 5:01 am

Re: Proggy gets a lesson in Haqiqat.

#32

Unread post by Humsafar » Thu May 17, 2012 11:35 am

Porus,
I hope the Amil was appropriately pleased with your smooching and especially by the weight of the envelope. I suggest you always keep such envelopes of varied weights on the ready, they can really open doors. No, I've not been privy to any sabaks, it's only a canard spread by my dushmano. Although, I confess, I once tried getting into it but it seems I failed the test. They said my brain was not elastic enough, or "supple" enough as they put it. I was given a belief and was asked to stretch it, and no matter how hard I tried I couldn't stretch it beyond Ahlal Bayt. They said they had never seen such a dense fellow before, and kicked me out. Oh the shame of it all, till today I carry a red face around as a trophy from that disgrace. :oops:
Yes, it is Haqiqi Yoga now that you've refreshed my memory. The Burhani component is just the current fashionable version, like Bikram Chowdhary's Hot Yoga. I want to know why Burhani Yoga is so popular among abdes? They are of such supple brains. What can I do to make mine also supple? Is any special diet recommended? Please advise.
Also, I'm keen on learning all the asnas that form the bedrock of Haqiqi Yoga, namely Satya Kheench Asana (SKA). If you've learned more SKA excercises then please be kind enough to share them with me.
And I must tell you the question you asked about NaMo being Masoom was just a stroke of genius. Such penetrating enquiry can only be worthy of Einstein and his theory of relativity. I hope Vazaraat will come back with a positive response and will at least declare NaMo Kul Masoom if not completely Masoom. If you ask me he deserves nothing less than the latter. But Vazaraat knows best, we'll leave it to their infinite wisdom.
I remain yours, bent in Burhani Yoga.

porus
Posts: 3594
Joined: Thu Dec 13, 2001 5:01 am

Re: Proggy gets a lesson in Haqiqat.

#33

Unread post by porus » Thu May 17, 2012 10:24 pm

Humsafar,

I am very sorry that you could not qualify for entry into Sabak. You must not lose heart however. It was not because your brain was dense but the popularity of Haqiqi Yoga among abdes has resulted in severe shortage of space in Sabak. I will help you jog your memory of some asanas that you will have learned trying to enter the Sabak. And, I will do my best to report what I learn from the Sabak offered to our wayward Proggy.

I came across a new asana which is familiar to participants here on this Forum. This asana is very useful. Politician from all over the World arrive for special sabak in it. The asana is called "Prashnaka-Uttar-Taal-Dena" asana.

Participants here know it as "Dodge'em" asana. It is quite an art in which adept dodges important questions by veering off to another subject altogether. Favorite alternatives are putting the questioner in spot by questioning their patriotism and loyalty. In Haqiqi Yoga, standard questions are always "Who is your Leader?" and "What are your beliefs?

It is a bit of a mouthful but "Prashnaka-Uttar-Taal-Dena" has been the most used asana in an adept's mastery of Haqiqi Yoga.

Humsafar
Posts: 2623
Joined: Sat Dec 16, 2000 5:01 am

Re: Proggy gets a lesson in Haqiqat.

#34

Unread post by Humsafar » Fri May 18, 2012 2:41 pm

Porus,
Thank you for sharing the new asana: Prashn Ka Uttar Taal Dena. As far as I know this the "downward dog" of Haqiqi Yoga, absolutely fundamental. No yoga class is complete without it. Our friend Adam is a master practitioner of this asana. He's so enamoured of it that he eats, breathes and even shits this asana. He just can't have enough of it. These days I believe he's holding a boot camp of Haqiqi Yoga in some remote corner of Iceland or maybe Norway or it could be Dharavi in Mumbai, for all I know. All his abde cohorts are taking part that's why you don't see them here these days (just in case you were wondering!!).
The focus of the boot camp is this PKUTD asana or Dodge'em asana as it is popularly know. This is how neophytes are trained: The trainer throws an odd ball (special kind of Burhani ball) and tells the trainees to fetch them. Those who fetch the odd ball successfully are spanked for their efforts. This is repeated as long as it takes for them to learn NOT to fetch the odd ball. This exercise is similar to what Pavalov did with his dog and Schrodinger did with his cat. Now Adam is doing it with his abdes. After each successful NOT fetching of the odd ball, the trainee is asked to write a millions times: "Who is your Leader?" "What are your beliefs?" On successful completion of this, trainees lose 10% of their brain, and begin to show zombie like signs. There are other asnas which I hoping you and I can unearth which are designed to completely atrophy human brain. This by the way, if you did not know, is the objective of Haqiqi Yoga. The great Leader proved that the brain is like the appendix, a completely useless organ. Humans should have nothing to with it, he proclaimed and invented Haqiqi Yoga to get rid of it.

jamanpasand
Posts: 468
Joined: Sat Oct 29, 2005 4:01 am

Re: Proggy gets a lesson in Haqiqat.

#35

Unread post by jamanpasand » Wed May 28, 2014 2:03 pm

Porus at his best. We miss your posts.

Deerseye
Posts: 89
Joined: Fri Mar 22, 2013 10:30 am

Re: Proggy gets a lesson in Haqiqat.

#36

Unread post by Deerseye » Thu May 29, 2014 4:16 am

This was a awesome thread. Thanks jaman pasand for reviving it. I think this was humour at it's very best.of late the forum has become ugly.poros we need u back.