I am a young man living in Mumbai.
My dad does not care much - does not have much interest in the family - he does not help me - he only does his govt work and comes home to sleep.
Mother is very proud and fun loving - wants to enjoy life and is very shrewd and vindictive - she is completely manipulative.
So the problem is this.
My mothers brother does not want me to study - he wants me to work for him. He has a mechanical factory. He won't explain any details.
He also wants me to take care of his unmarried sister (my aunt who is a doctor) - who is getting older. But not old yet.
There is also a young kid in the family who they want to force me to babysit all the time.
My mother has agreed to this deal, and I think she is getting money for this. It is all very secretive.
These guys will not let me study. They will not teach me business. They discourage everything I do. They don't let me do anything like sports or music or anything.
In fact, I believe, they have blocked others from interfering - they will not let others teach me business either.
They try to entice me, saying that they will give me money etc - but wont actually give me much - and are always asking for things in return.
I think they lie to me about everything - they try to scare me - they will discuss everything in private and not give me any family information.
Make me do things around the house like a servant. They are always yelling at me.
They are always asking me to explain everything i do - tell them everything i know.
I thought life was about making choices and being free.
Free to study what I want, work where I want, marry who I want.
What are the social rules here? Just because I am younger I must obey?
Why can't the other cousins take care of the older aunt or young kid - who are not ill - they can also hire helpers.
Can I get help from the local jamaat or aamil or will it just spoil things?
Question about family
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Al Zulfiqar
- Posts: 4618
- Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 5:01 am
Re: Question about family
stan man,
i find it hard to understand why you are asking for help and advice in the 'jamat' forum when its a personal issue.
your dad seems to be like syedna and your mom seems very much like the pup zaadas of saifee mahal who wish to keep the community ignorant, slavish and stupid. in fact your situation is exactly like the life of a typical bohra abde, who cannot live freely, think freely or do music or sports.
from such a community and from such leaders and their crook amils, you will not get even a cent of advice or help. I suggest you consult some elderly person from your family whom you can trust and who will have the moral status and personality to influence your parents. otherwise send me a pm and i will try to help you as much as i can myself or through personal contacts in mumbai who can help you out of this difficult mess.
wish you all the best. remember you are your own best friend and support. do not lose faith.
i find it hard to understand why you are asking for help and advice in the 'jamat' forum when its a personal issue.
your dad seems to be like syedna and your mom seems very much like the pup zaadas of saifee mahal who wish to keep the community ignorant, slavish and stupid. in fact your situation is exactly like the life of a typical bohra abde, who cannot live freely, think freely or do music or sports.
from such a community and from such leaders and their crook amils, you will not get even a cent of advice or help. I suggest you consult some elderly person from your family whom you can trust and who will have the moral status and personality to influence your parents. otherwise send me a pm and i will try to help you as much as i can myself or through personal contacts in mumbai who can help you out of this difficult mess.
wish you all the best. remember you are your own best friend and support. do not lose faith.
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ozmujaheed
- Posts: 889
- Joined: Mon Oct 20, 2008 6:14 am
Re: Question about family
Stan how old are you ? Your family will not change But you can leave them ?
What do you want more, freedom or sustenance ? You can get freedom and then look for sustenance
What do you want more, freedom or sustenance ? You can get freedom and then look for sustenance
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murtaza2152
- Posts: 253
- Joined: Sun Nov 07, 2010 11:26 pm
Re: Question about family
CONTACT YOUR AAMIL AND DO ARZI TO MOLA OR SEEK ADVICE FROM AAMIL....AND DONT BE CHILDISH AND DONT POST RIDICULOUS THINGS LIKE THIS..
YOUR WELLWISHER,
MURTAZA.
YOUR WELLWISHER,
MURTAZA.
Re: Question about family
Typical Bohra mentality.
Rather then advise someone to seek guidance from Almighty Allah (GOD ALMIGHTY - The creator of each one of us including More La), the first thing one advises is do Arzi to More La...And this "Kind" call themselves Muslims!
Rather then advise someone to seek guidance from Almighty Allah (GOD ALMIGHTY - The creator of each one of us including More La), the first thing one advises is do Arzi to More La...And this "Kind" call themselves Muslims!
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labbaikyaHussain
- Posts: 351
- Joined: Wed Feb 23, 2011 10:22 am
Re: Question about family
Jamali wrote:Typical Bohra mentality.
Rather then advise someone to seek guidance from Almighty Allah (GOD ALMIGHTY - The creator of each one of us including More La), the first thing one advises is do Arzi to More La...And this "Kind" call themselves Muslims!
All guidance to good deeds is from Allah subhanu...but he personally dont come down to help people or to guide them...he uses his chosen belivers to guide human beings.
Re: Question about family
Labbaikya Husain,
Are you that stupid? Didnt anyone teach you the basic and fundamental principle that ALLAH is the Almighty and he doesnt need to send anyone to help him or guide him. He is the all Merciful and doesnt need anyone or anything to guide and help his creation in this modern age. All he asks for is to remember him in Prayer and have belief and faith in him and he will be there for you! Also the last messenger of Allah was Prophet Muhammad and he has given us the glorious book called the Holy Quran which in essence is the word of Allah. Even the Prophet never took Arzis for his people and he was even closer to Allah than More La. If you follow the teachings of all the Prophets and the Imams, they have shown total submission to Allah Almighty and asked their followers to emulate that. Dai is supposed to exemplify that not have people do Arzis to him!
Is your faith that weak that despite all what has already been given to you by Almighty Allah as a form of a guide that you need to channel your faith through "More La?" Doesnt More La himself pray to Almighty Allah and ask for his guidance? Isnt More La himself a human being like you? (unless ofcourse he is the GOD on earth!) Common, Labbaikya Husain, dont stupidify your intelligence any further than you have.
More La is no more a religious leader to guide you on what is right and what is wrong. He is there to clarify any doubts with regard to the Islamic teachings and enforce the teachings of the Quran but not for you to worship him in the way you do and claim his existence to be God on earth. Like I said before there is a difference between "Respect and Worship" and sadly you have them all mixed up where More La is concerned!
Are you that stupid? Didnt anyone teach you the basic and fundamental principle that ALLAH is the Almighty and he doesnt need to send anyone to help him or guide him. He is the all Merciful and doesnt need anyone or anything to guide and help his creation in this modern age. All he asks for is to remember him in Prayer and have belief and faith in him and he will be there for you! Also the last messenger of Allah was Prophet Muhammad and he has given us the glorious book called the Holy Quran which in essence is the word of Allah. Even the Prophet never took Arzis for his people and he was even closer to Allah than More La. If you follow the teachings of all the Prophets and the Imams, they have shown total submission to Allah Almighty and asked their followers to emulate that. Dai is supposed to exemplify that not have people do Arzis to him!
Is your faith that weak that despite all what has already been given to you by Almighty Allah as a form of a guide that you need to channel your faith through "More La?" Doesnt More La himself pray to Almighty Allah and ask for his guidance? Isnt More La himself a human being like you? (unless ofcourse he is the GOD on earth!) Common, Labbaikya Husain, dont stupidify your intelligence any further than you have.
More La is no more a religious leader to guide you on what is right and what is wrong. He is there to clarify any doubts with regard to the Islamic teachings and enforce the teachings of the Quran but not for you to worship him in the way you do and claim his existence to be God on earth. Like I said before there is a difference between "Respect and Worship" and sadly you have them all mixed up where More La is concerned!
Re: Question about family
Stan_The_Man,
A few tips about life.
1. Nothing is for free, from your relatives, to your neighbour. To expect them to give you something for nothing, is well, immature.
2. You obviously don't respect your own mother...you speak of her so disparagingly, it's no wonder you reap what you sow.
3. What you are describing is called "family rules" You obviously have to follow the rules of the house. If you're asked for explanations, then you ought to give them...they are afterall, your elders.
4. To go the the Amil with this is laughable. Every kid your age wants to do the same, so what's new? It's a passage of time, you'll get over it as you grow older.
My advise to you is firstly learn to respect your mother, your father, and your family elders. Just because they don't give you pocket money, and let you hang out with your friends does not mean you ridicule them like this.
A few tips about life.
1. Nothing is for free, from your relatives, to your neighbour. To expect them to give you something for nothing, is well, immature.
2. You obviously don't respect your own mother...you speak of her so disparagingly, it's no wonder you reap what you sow.
3. What you are describing is called "family rules" You obviously have to follow the rules of the house. If you're asked for explanations, then you ought to give them...they are afterall, your elders.
4. To go the the Amil with this is laughable. Every kid your age wants to do the same, so what's new? It's a passage of time, you'll get over it as you grow older.
My advise to you is firstly learn to respect your mother, your father, and your family elders. Just because they don't give you pocket money, and let you hang out with your friends does not mean you ridicule them like this.
stan_the_man wrote:I am a young man living in Mumbai.
My dad does not care much - does not have much interest in the family - he does not help me - he only does his govt work and comes home to sleep.
Mother is very proud and fun loving - wants to enjoy life and is very shrewd and vindictive - she is completely manipulative.
So the problem is this.
My mothers brother does not want me to study - he wants me to work for him. He has a mechanical factory. He won't explain any details.
He also wants me to take care of his unmarried sister (my aunt who is a doctor) - who is getting older. But not old yet.
There is also a young kid in the family who they want to force me to babysit all the time.
My mother has agreed to this deal, and I think she is getting money for this. It is all very secretive.
These guys will not let me study. They will not teach me business. They discourage everything I do. They don't let me do anything like sports or music or anything.
In fact, I believe, they have blocked others from interfering - they will not let others teach me business either.
They try to entice me, saying that they will give me money etc - but wont actually give me much - and are always asking for things in return.
I think they lie to me about everything - they try to scare me - they will discuss everything in private and not give me any family information.
Make me do things around the house like a servant. They are always yelling at me.
They are always asking me to explain everything i do - tell them everything i know.
I thought life was about making choices and being free.
Free to study what I want, work where I want, marry who I want.
What are the social rules here? Just because I am younger I must obey?
Why can't the other cousins take care of the older aunt or young kid - who are not ill - they can also hire helpers.
Can I get help from the local jamaat or aamil or will it just spoil things?
-
Al Zulfiqar
- Posts: 4618
- Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 5:01 am
Re: Question about family
murtu,murtaza2152 wrote:CONTACT YOUR AAMIL AND DO ARZI TO MOLA OR SEEK ADVICE FROM AAMIL....AND DONT BE CHILDISH AND DONT POST RIDICULOUS THINGS LIKE THIS..
YOUR WELLWISHER,
MURTAZA.
he is short of money. can you please lend him 552 rs so he can go to amil or send arzi? if amil's advice backfires and he suffers even more, will you please provide your address here so that he can come and see you?
Re: Question about family
Al Zulfiqar
You make me laugh all the time
You make me laugh all the time