My first TNC Match-making experience:
Posted: Mon Jan 09, 2012 7:07 am
I returned home from usual day at work and was greeted with a teasing smile from my parents and sister. As conversation started over the dinner, my father commented looking at me; “You are getting old now” (russell peters style, it bought a chuckle on my face). He continued “You are done with studies, you have a nice job, and you have still not a found a nice girl for yourself” (I wanted to reply same as russell peters did ! But I dare not). Then I responded innocently, I don’t get to socialize with girls, especially in our community. To which he assuringly replied by flashing the Registration Form for the TNC meet called “Taaruf” (introduction), “This is your chance Tiger ! go meet some girls !!” I was like “wow” I was amused at my father’s sense of humor !
So we went to the Jamaat office with duly filled in registration form + Fees for submission returning from office, I was in a business suit. My appearance drew unnecessary attention and glares. Finaly when I went to the Sheikh-in-charge’s palatial office. I was observed head to toe and heard sigh of sarcasm!
I was tauntingly advised to wear “Quomi Libaas” (Saya Kurta Topi) and grow a more thicker beard for the event. I was smiling staring into his eyes and enjoying the disgust he was going through.
On scheduled day, I arrived at the venue in Quomi libaas with a dark stubble. My father bid me goodbye with overwhelmed emotions similar as that of first day at school ! I entered the hotel and followed a noisy chaos of familiar languages. On the entrance of Banquet Hall there was a desk supervised by a bulky ‘Aunty Femidah’ to handover a packet of stationery and batch. I entered the hall innocently lost and dumbfounded at the pleasant chaos of allotment of team leaders for the boys and girls. I sat on the waiting chairs to await my allotment to a team.
I was given batch number B09 (Boy number 09) literally, I may have been the 9th boy to enter the event. This was to be displayed proudly on our chest to identify ourselves (there could be lot of similar names, so to avoid confusion). After my allotment, I was introduced to a frail looking man with dominating voice and beard with mixed texture of white, grey and black hair as my team leader.. He looked very villainous in his appearance, may be he wanted to convey his sense of discipline amongst us as perceived young rogue boys. He reminded me of Evil Magician ‘Jaafer’ from Alladin series. I introduced myself with seemingly nervous boys admiring pretty looking girls dressed in Butterfly Ridas sitting at the other end of the hall.
I was enjoying this unexpected moment. Observing boys and girls. Majority of Boys wore Quomi Libaas. Few had heavy beard rolled and pinned to their chins. Girls looked very young, but on enquiring I was relieved to know majority of them were in age bracket of 21 –25 years. With few exceptions who were below 20 years.
Banquet hall was crowded more with extras and freeloaders from Jamaat then actual boys and girls who paid for the event. After the chaos ended, all participants settled in their chairs and we awaited start of the ceremony. Zaroori Elaan was announced on a mike, which was arrival of Janaab Saab and his family ! Janaab presided on Decorated Chair, this dude needs a white cover up on anything he sits, I was just observing this pompous old man. Meanwhile other extras and sidekicks ran around in pretended hurry & bowed body posture to make arrangement (I had no idea what was the hush hush all about).
We stood to praise Allah (most merciful) and begin the event with a past dated video recording of Sayedna Saheb emphasising importance of finding a soul mate. Concluding with singing of “Ghanu Jeevo”. After this a huge yummy looking cake was placed before Janaab Saab, and to our surprise it was zaroori elaaaned that Today was the Janaab saab’s Birthday !! (oohhooo !!!) Family members, Bottom lickers, Side Kicks and Extras gheraoed the Birthday Boy to sing “Happy Birthday to you” and played a silly hindi song “Hum bhi agar bachche hote naam humara hota …happy birthday to you ” we boys and girls looked amazed, surprised and felt sillly about the whole thing. Trust me !! We all were feeling disgusted and amused at such sillyness of janaab saab ! Embarrasment was noticed and background song was changed to Instrumental Madeh (Ghanu Jeevo).
After a ceremonial start rules were explained in Lisaane Daawat mixed with English words (It was sounding pleasantly funny !)
Girls were to sit at one end of the small round table and boys would rotate on a buzzer after 3 minutes !! To help the shy, nervous and lost participants, there was a menu card with introductory questions to spark a conversation. Stationery given to us included a writing pad, pen and a small form to enter priority likeness of girls. We were suppose to fill the priority blocks with G-code of the girl we were interested in. It was obviously embarrassing to take note of the G-code batch pinned on the Rida.
I parroted the answers in sequence of the questions presented. After meeting with 3 girls on a 3 minute speed dating buzzer I was bored with yakking out same answers, as I observed 10 more tables to go. Responses I received from the pretty girls were hilarious to pleasantly thoughtful.
Few excerpts were :
Which car I drive ? Where is my house located ? How many House I have back in India ? Will I want to live with my parents for good ? Why I m employed and not a businessman ?
One girl honestly informed me that, she went through 3 failed relationships because 3 of them were psychos, and asked me if I was a psycho too ?? I was amazed in this conversation, apparently she said this to all boys who she was talking to in those 3 minutes. She was a sweet looking and honest girl.
After this initial introductory round, there were many other ice breaker games played, such as : Deeni & Duniya Qweeez Competition ! Tell a joke ! etc. This gave time to match-makers to pair up matching priorities from boys and girls.
Meanwhile, a Sheikh stood up and cracked a sad shitty joke, to which we were more disgusted than amused. One Mulla Saab came to our group of boys and was imparting pearls of wisdom on how to woo a woman, It was silly and stupid. He referred us as tigers on the hunt, aim and target potential partner, girls are shy and submissive preys. He said it with a hint of humour and friendliness (no offense to women folks please).
After a while my respective team leader mulla saab would take me away silently to meet the matched girl and were given more time to freely interact. So as everyone began to disperse one after another to meet their preferred match. Buffet table was opened; extras, freeloaders and our team leaders vanished from the scene to feast on the lavish buffet spread. I met with 2 girls and I was reasonably rejected on several mismatching grounds, may be financially (I don’t own a car, I take bus) or religiously (so to say) ! I wanted to enjoy a good meal after a good time I had at the event. So I walked towards buffet table and I was surprised to see almost empty trays. It was just 30 minutes. I googled through few trays and filled my plate with whatever I could find appealing. I walked to dining table and observed the post buffet scenario, where these freeloaders, extras and our team leaders were caressing their tummies and burping out loud praising the “Faakhera Jaman” With heaps of chicken bones and peels of fresh fruits left on their plates.
I was munching on humble rice and curry I salvaged from the whatever was left in the trays. A girl with a sweet voice with a “Hi” approached me for a conversation. I looked at her and she had this beautiful hazel eyes (designer lenses), and deep dimples on her smiling face. We had a sweet conversation over the event and shared a hearty laugh about the pot-bellied freeloaders around.
We bid goodbye to each other exchanging Emails. Now she is a very good pen friend and occasionally share humorous experience within the community !!
So we went to the Jamaat office with duly filled in registration form + Fees for submission returning from office, I was in a business suit. My appearance drew unnecessary attention and glares. Finaly when I went to the Sheikh-in-charge’s palatial office. I was observed head to toe and heard sigh of sarcasm!
I was tauntingly advised to wear “Quomi Libaas” (Saya Kurta Topi) and grow a more thicker beard for the event. I was smiling staring into his eyes and enjoying the disgust he was going through.
On scheduled day, I arrived at the venue in Quomi libaas with a dark stubble. My father bid me goodbye with overwhelmed emotions similar as that of first day at school ! I entered the hotel and followed a noisy chaos of familiar languages. On the entrance of Banquet Hall there was a desk supervised by a bulky ‘Aunty Femidah’ to handover a packet of stationery and batch. I entered the hall innocently lost and dumbfounded at the pleasant chaos of allotment of team leaders for the boys and girls. I sat on the waiting chairs to await my allotment to a team.
I was given batch number B09 (Boy number 09) literally, I may have been the 9th boy to enter the event. This was to be displayed proudly on our chest to identify ourselves (there could be lot of similar names, so to avoid confusion). After my allotment, I was introduced to a frail looking man with dominating voice and beard with mixed texture of white, grey and black hair as my team leader.. He looked very villainous in his appearance, may be he wanted to convey his sense of discipline amongst us as perceived young rogue boys. He reminded me of Evil Magician ‘Jaafer’ from Alladin series. I introduced myself with seemingly nervous boys admiring pretty looking girls dressed in Butterfly Ridas sitting at the other end of the hall.
I was enjoying this unexpected moment. Observing boys and girls. Majority of Boys wore Quomi Libaas. Few had heavy beard rolled and pinned to their chins. Girls looked very young, but on enquiring I was relieved to know majority of them were in age bracket of 21 –25 years. With few exceptions who were below 20 years.
Banquet hall was crowded more with extras and freeloaders from Jamaat then actual boys and girls who paid for the event. After the chaos ended, all participants settled in their chairs and we awaited start of the ceremony. Zaroori Elaan was announced on a mike, which was arrival of Janaab Saab and his family ! Janaab presided on Decorated Chair, this dude needs a white cover up on anything he sits, I was just observing this pompous old man. Meanwhile other extras and sidekicks ran around in pretended hurry & bowed body posture to make arrangement (I had no idea what was the hush hush all about).
We stood to praise Allah (most merciful) and begin the event with a past dated video recording of Sayedna Saheb emphasising importance of finding a soul mate. Concluding with singing of “Ghanu Jeevo”. After this a huge yummy looking cake was placed before Janaab Saab, and to our surprise it was zaroori elaaaned that Today was the Janaab saab’s Birthday !! (oohhooo !!!) Family members, Bottom lickers, Side Kicks and Extras gheraoed the Birthday Boy to sing “Happy Birthday to you” and played a silly hindi song “Hum bhi agar bachche hote naam humara hota …happy birthday to you ” we boys and girls looked amazed, surprised and felt sillly about the whole thing. Trust me !! We all were feeling disgusted and amused at such sillyness of janaab saab ! Embarrasment was noticed and background song was changed to Instrumental Madeh (Ghanu Jeevo).
After a ceremonial start rules were explained in Lisaane Daawat mixed with English words (It was sounding pleasantly funny !)
Girls were to sit at one end of the small round table and boys would rotate on a buzzer after 3 minutes !! To help the shy, nervous and lost participants, there was a menu card with introductory questions to spark a conversation. Stationery given to us included a writing pad, pen and a small form to enter priority likeness of girls. We were suppose to fill the priority blocks with G-code of the girl we were interested in. It was obviously embarrassing to take note of the G-code batch pinned on the Rida.
I parroted the answers in sequence of the questions presented. After meeting with 3 girls on a 3 minute speed dating buzzer I was bored with yakking out same answers, as I observed 10 more tables to go. Responses I received from the pretty girls were hilarious to pleasantly thoughtful.
Few excerpts were :
Which car I drive ? Where is my house located ? How many House I have back in India ? Will I want to live with my parents for good ? Why I m employed and not a businessman ?
One girl honestly informed me that, she went through 3 failed relationships because 3 of them were psychos, and asked me if I was a psycho too ?? I was amazed in this conversation, apparently she said this to all boys who she was talking to in those 3 minutes. She was a sweet looking and honest girl.
After this initial introductory round, there were many other ice breaker games played, such as : Deeni & Duniya Qweeez Competition ! Tell a joke ! etc. This gave time to match-makers to pair up matching priorities from boys and girls.
Meanwhile, a Sheikh stood up and cracked a sad shitty joke, to which we were more disgusted than amused. One Mulla Saab came to our group of boys and was imparting pearls of wisdom on how to woo a woman, It was silly and stupid. He referred us as tigers on the hunt, aim and target potential partner, girls are shy and submissive preys. He said it with a hint of humour and friendliness (no offense to women folks please).
After a while my respective team leader mulla saab would take me away silently to meet the matched girl and were given more time to freely interact. So as everyone began to disperse one after another to meet their preferred match. Buffet table was opened; extras, freeloaders and our team leaders vanished from the scene to feast on the lavish buffet spread. I met with 2 girls and I was reasonably rejected on several mismatching grounds, may be financially (I don’t own a car, I take bus) or religiously (so to say) ! I wanted to enjoy a good meal after a good time I had at the event. So I walked towards buffet table and I was surprised to see almost empty trays. It was just 30 minutes. I googled through few trays and filled my plate with whatever I could find appealing. I walked to dining table and observed the post buffet scenario, where these freeloaders, extras and our team leaders were caressing their tummies and burping out loud praising the “Faakhera Jaman” With heaps of chicken bones and peels of fresh fruits left on their plates.
I was munching on humble rice and curry I salvaged from the whatever was left in the trays. A girl with a sweet voice with a “Hi” approached me for a conversation. I looked at her and she had this beautiful hazel eyes (designer lenses), and deep dimples on her smiling face. We had a sweet conversation over the event and shared a hearty laugh about the pot-bellied freeloaders around.
We bid goodbye to each other exchanging Emails. Now she is a very good pen friend and occasionally share humorous experience within the community !!
