Dating Rule... so I'm talking to this guy

[ghulam muhammed]

Are you yet another wahhabi who is against absolutely everyone?

YAAAAAWN !!! Please come up with something different rather then the same old rhetoric, this sounds like a broken record !!

[Critical_Thinker]

Are you yet another wahhabi who is against absolutely everyone?

YAAAAAWN !!! Please come up with something different rather then the same old rhetoric, this sounds like a broken record !!

As expected, you didnt answer my question did you ghulam.
Typical of the wahhabis here who hate the progressive bohras just as much as the traditional bohras.

[Young Modern Bohri]

A humourous article subtling targeting the problems we are currently facing while approaching the age of marriage.

I have commented on this site before as well, on the same topic. Being a liberal-almost to the point on non practicing-Bohra Muslim lady I can really related well to this article. If I have to shortly sum up my total experience in this-I would call it simple FRUSTRATING!

I am seeing a community rapidly turning into a bunch of robots-simply doing things what they are told to, because they are told to without any exercising their God given brains into the matter.

People are taught to simply think about the happiness of the Dai and that's the end of things. Nothing else is preached in the mosques now-a-days. Kids are brought to be manner-less. All people do in mosque are talk, gossip, chitchat, fight for a place for prayers, fight for their place in the thaal-and get back home happy and content!

Do I see myself getting married in such a culture! I believe myself to me a modern educated woman, but a practicing Muslim. I believe that a Mosque is a place for QUIET CONTEMPLATION and where all are equal and one can offer prayers anywhere in the House of God, as against being allocated places.

I also believe in the sanctity between male and female relationships-and have never had a boyfriend in my life. But I am a romantic and I do want that special one to be someone who I like, admire and can relate too. For that I actually envy the west-the opportunity they have to meet men on all platforms besides just for matrimonial reasons.

Today's relationships either begin with a TNC member [who almost can never emphasize with you-and end up providing the most horrible matches despite equipping them with our partner preferences] or shaadi.com What follows is a chats on facebook, whatsapp or if you reside in the same country [luckily] a personal face to face meeting.

Is this all not too staged, impersonal, and like a task! We need to connect on more real grounds. Meet a person say at work, or through common friends, and slowly develop a beautiful relationship with them which you realize can turn into marriage! And no I do not mean relation as in physical relationship. But where you are taught not to mingle with strangers , though for right reasons, and not talk with men-how do you get to experience this.

I am in a stage where being a modern thinker-I know it's not wrong for me to converse with a person of opposite sex, on grounds of mutual interest. But my culture and traditions still hold me back.

Further whatsapp facebook video chatting are more harmful [for those living abroad]-as I find them an excuse to flirt away. Me claiming to be a modern person, automatically makes them assume they can get away with talks of kisses and alike! So I am stuck with either getting acquainted with a traditional beard sporting, topi wearing, hardware guy who believes a girls role is to take care of HIS family and HIS home or this totally modern fellow, who thinks the earth revolves around him, and that every topic can be turned into talks of partying & casual relationships.

These are my personal experiences while approaching marriage. I am no way intending anything against the opposite gender and am sure they may be many such pointers towards my gender as well!

Like I said I have addressed this topic before-and someone did suggest that we should have a site similar to hipster-called ishqr now..for Bohras like us. I am ready to take this challenge-and would like to invite people who are interested in helping me set this up, to message me back!

Thanks!

[WiththenameofAllah]

Oh ! The above post is my story .. Either to get stuck with a dadi , topi wala mulla brain washed abde or to die with a man who is not practicing Muslim. No choice.

[Critical_Thinker]

A humourous article subtling targeting the problems we are currently facing while approaching the age of marriage.

I have commented on this site before as well, on the same topic. Being a liberal-almost to the point on non practicing-Bohra Muslim lady I can really related well to this article. If I have to shortly sum up my total experience in this-I would call it simple FRUSTRATING!

I am seeing a community rapidly turning into a bunch of robots-simply doing things what they are told to, because they are told to without any exercising their God given brains into the matter.

People are taught to simply think about the happiness of the Dai and that's the end of things. Nothing else is preached in the mosques now-a-days. Kids are brought to be manner-less. All people do in mosque are talk, gossip, chitchat, fight for a place for prayers, fight for their place in the thaal-and get back home happy and content!

Do I see myself getting married in such a culture! I believe myself to me a modern educated woman, but a practicing Muslim. I believe that a Mosque is a place for QUIET CONTEMPLATION and where all are equal and one can offer prayers anywhere in the House of God, as against being allocated places.

I also believe in the sanctity between male and female relationships-and have never had a boyfriend in my life. But I am a romantic and I do want that special one to be someone who I like, admire and can relate too. For that I actually envy the west-the opportunity they have to meet men on all platforms besides just for matrimonial reasons.

Today's relationships either begin with a TNC member [who almost can never emphasize with you-and end up providing the most horrible matches despite equipping them with our partner preferences] or shaadi.com What follows is a chats on facebook, whatsapp or if you reside in the same country [luckily] a personal face to face meeting.

Is this all not too staged, impersonal, and like a task! We need to connect on more real grounds. Meet a person say at work, or through common friends, and slowly develop a beautiful relationship with them which you realize can turn into marriage! And no I do not mean relation as in physical relationship. But where you are taught not to mingle with strangers , though for right reasons, and not talk with men-how do you get to experience this.

I am in a stage where being a modern thinker-I know it's not wrong for me to converse with a person of opposite sex, on grounds of mutual interest. But my culture and traditions still hold me back.

Further whatsapp facebook video chatting are more harmful [for those living abroad]-as I find them an excuse to flirt away. Me claiming to be a modern person, automatically makes them assume they can get away with talks of kisses and alike! So I am stuck with either getting acquainted with a traditional beard sporting, topi wearing, hardware guy who believes a girls role is to take care of HIS family and HIS home or this totally modern fellow, who thinks the earth revolves around him, and that every topic can be turned into talks of partying & casual relationships.

These are my personal experiences while approaching marriage. I am no way intending anything against the opposite gender and am sure they may be many such pointers towards my gender as well!

Like I said I have addressed this topic before-and someone did suggest that we should have a site similar to hipster-called ishqr now..for Bohras like us. I am ready to take this challenge-and would like to invite people who are interested in helping me set this up, to message me back!

Thanks!

Hello sister, I couldn't help noticing your contradiction above.
Could you clarify what you mean about being a non-practicing but practicing muslim?

You also mentioned not being allowed to mingle or talk to men.
The progressive bohras have no such restrictions, especially at school or work.
The traditional bohras have no problem with this either at school or work.
Bohras from both sides are against the nightclub scene and intimate contact before marriage, that is all.
This part of our culture (which comes from islam) did not hold me back, indeed it helped me find a man who was actually 'worth marrying'.
We would both agree on how rare they are these days!
Don't fret too much though, there are plenty of modern bohra men in the western countries.

Good luck with your website.
I wish I was a computer expert so could offer you some help, instead of just luck!

[Critical_Thinker]

Oh ! The above post is my story .. Either to get stuck with a dadi , topi wala mulla brain washed abde or to die with a man who is not practicing Muslim. No choice.

Its best not to stereotype men as inevitably they will stereotype women in return!
Sister there is always choice and always someone out there for everyone.
My mother used to tell me that the best men are usually the hardest to find!
So its a matter of constantly and continuously searching and never giving up or losing hope.