New Rules..!!

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zinger
Posts: 2201
Joined: Wed Sep 26, 2012 2:40 am

Re: New Rules..!!

#361

Unread post by zinger » Wed Jun 08, 2016 12:07 am

Al Zulfiqar wrote:zinger,

i would suggest that you in fact leave your soiled undies unwashed for a few weeks and then gift pack them as per bhai sbm's instructions but send them to mufatlal c/o saifee palace, malabar hill, mumbai. do not forget to enclose with it your receipt of purchase from pantaloons + the courier expenses + compensation for the inconvenience suffered by you and lil johnny during the transition process from hanes to langot.

it is high time mufatlal realised that putting your hands in an abde's pocket is a far minor crime as compared to reaching deep inside an abde's hijar or pants and fingering their most valuable asset.
Are you nuts? im not sending any receipt. My card number will be mentioned on it and then.. boom.. hands in more places than just one

Al Zulfiqar
Posts: 4618
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 5:01 am

Re: New Rules..!!

#362

Unread post by Al Zulfiqar » Wed Jun 08, 2016 3:11 pm

rule no. 75

deep throat has reliably learnt that due to the shortage of storage space at saifee palace, the store rooms, the garages, the labyrinth of dungeons below, all are overflowing with rare carpets, crystal, crockery, silverware, rare antiques, guns, books and furniture which has been gifted to the holy suterfeni by his large flock of sheep all over the world, external warehousing has been secretly arranged in the outskirts of mumbai, surat, etc. this is primarily used to stash away the hunting trophies collected by the past 3 safed baghlas - antelope heads, tiger and lion skins, elephant feet, precious ivory, teeth and claws of fierce beasts of prey, whole stuffed eagles, falcons, owls, deer, leopards, cheetah, crocodile skins, furs of exotic ermine, beaver, foxes, etc etc. there are over 3-4000 such stuffed and mounted animal parts which have to be regularly aired, treated and cleaned, otherwise they start rotting with fungus and insects and give off an awful smell.

with the big samosa's shikar showing no signs of abating, (in fact his blood lust seems to be growing) the HPC at the DEH have come up with an ingenious plan to make room for this vast horde of rare artifacts. with gracious raza and beshumaar karam and ehsaan of the haqiqi kaaba, very soon, selected shikar trophies will be installed at every bohra masjid, mawaid and markaz in aalam e iman. every moze, vatan and jamaat will start receiving these artefacts which they will mount on the walls of their masjids, in the sehens and mawaids. if they so wish they can even have them installed in the washrooms, offices, madrasas and amil's devri's. they will serve to remind the abdes of: a) their aqa mola's amazing prowess in killing and mowing down wild animals, b) it will also serve as a warning to the dawat na dushman, both open and hidden, of what could befall their fate if they oppose their ilah ul ardh and ghaib na jankar, c) it will be a representation and proxy as it were of the big suterfeni himself, knowing that this heathen beast was felled at his mubarak hands himself!, d) it will enhance the spiritual ambience of the masjid, mawaid and other locations and make it even more paak.

of course, these trophies will be phoonk o fied, made suitably paak and namazi by mu faad daal himself before shipping out to all corners of the aalam e imaan. the more aqeedo and valvalo shown by a jamaat, the bigger the size of their najwo, the more numbers of trophies will be sent out and the better and more rare pieces will be sent. eg, surat will get several lions' heads, alligator skins, elephant feet and hippo gonads, but smaller jamaats like jhumri talayya may get only some buffalo droppings (gobar) coated in wax.

it is recommended that bukhur be offered to these trophies regularly and a monthly fee be paid by the jamaat to saifee palace for upkeep and specialised maintenance of these artefacts. amils, shaikhs and other jamaat aayan can also request to buy such trophies for their private use but must pay an annual fee alongwith their vajebaat and other dues.

this scheme is a limitless ehsaan and nawazish for the momeneen bestowed upon them by their lord and master, the big suterfeni. all those abdes interested in acquiring these holy symbols of our syednas, may enquire with their local jamaat offices or send in an arzi into hazrate aliya imamiyah qudsaniya. better still, they can perform a sajda taqriman wa taziman wal ubudiya personally in the august presence of the big samosa, wherever he may be, and submit their request with a heavy najwo and a gold brick. if saifee palace has run out of trophies, god forbid, the heavenly shikari will undertake a hunting expedition specially for you. after all, isn't he our shafiq bawa and we he is farzando?

inna lid dai e wa inna ilid dai e rajeun

Al Zulfiqar
Posts: 4618
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 5:01 am

Re: New Rules..!!

#363

Unread post by Al Zulfiqar » Wed Apr 13, 2022 5:09 pm

Hark hark, the lark. Coming soon to theaters, oops, markaz's near you, the kothari rodeo with many spanking new and innovative rules. Watch this space with bated breath abdes and amtes...Image

SBM
Posts: 6507
Joined: Sun May 09, 2004 4:01 am

Re: New Rules..!!

#364

Unread post by SBM » Thu Apr 14, 2022 10:02 pm

Al Zulfiqar wrote: Wed Apr 13, 2022 5:09 pm Hark hark, the lark. Coming soon to theaters, oops, markaz's near you, the kothari rodeo with many spanking new and innovative rules. Watch this space with bated breath abdes and amtes...Image
Ramadan Badi Barkatoon kaa hey Momino
Dai AZ nu zahoor thaye raheyo chey, nava rule sathe, Wajebat araaz karo. Moula Moula Zulfi Moula