#104
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by Al-Uqul » Tue Jun 22, 2010 6:55 am
I take responsibilty that this is from shaykh shirazi's websites and i have modified it as best as possible and,deleted spacesand lines and corrected the spelling errors in the book.inshaallah i ask Admin to allow this peice.
Why are men permitted to have more than one spouse whereas
the women are not?
By shaykh makarim shirazi :The Noble Qur`an has permitted polygamy (but, with strict
conditions and within prescribed limits) and here we have to face
up to a barrage of objections and assaults of the opponents, who,
armed with a cursory study and influenced by imprudent
sentiments, have set out to oppose this Islamic ruling. The
Westerners, in particular, tend to criticize us by saying that Islam
has permitted the males to create a harem and take for themselves
an unlimited number of spouses. As a matter of fact, Islam has
neither permitted the construction of harems - as they take it to
mean - nor has it permitted unconditional and unqualified
polygamy.Explanation: Studying the conditions that prevailed in different
regions before the onset of Islam, we infer that unreserved
polygamy was a routine affair in those days even to the extent that
on some occasions, when the polytheists would convert into
Muslims they would have in their possession around ten spouses.
Thus, multiplicity of wives is not an invention of Islam; on the
contrary, Islam has confined it within the framework of the
necessities of human life and qualified it by means of strict
conditions.Islamic laws are determined on the basis of the actual needs of
humans and not on the basis of external propaganda and illconsidered
sentiments. The issue of polygamy too has been given
consideration from this angle. This is because none can deny the
fact that men, in the various goings-on of life, are more exposed to
peril than the women, and they are the ones, who predominantly
bear the brunt of actual casualties in battles and other catastrophes.
It cannot also be denied that the sexual life-span of men is more
than that of women since women, at a certain age lose their sexual
strength whereas men do not.In addition, during menstruation and certain phases of pregnancy
the women are obliged to observe a restriction of sexual activity
whereas the men have no such restrictions.Apart from all the above there are women who, due to various
reasons, lose their husbands and are usually not sought by the men
as a first-wife, and in the absence of polygamy, they would always
have to remain without a spouse; we read in numerous newspapers
that this group of widowed women, due to the restrictions placed
upon the issue of polygamy, complain of the tangles of life and
regard this curb as a kind of sentimental oppression which they are
subjected to.Taking these realities into consideration, in such instances wherein
the balance between men and women is disrupted due to certain
factors, we are left with no option except to select one of the
following three alternatives:
1. Men should, at all times, content themselves with just one spouse,
while the extra women should remain without a spouse for the rest
of their lives, suppressing and killing all their innate needs and
internal desires.
2. Men should have only one official and legal spouse, but are
permitted to establish illicit physical relationships with women,
who are without spouses, and keep them as mistresses and
paramours.
3. Those, who possess the means, should be permitted to govern
more than one spouse. Individuals, who would not be
inconvenienced physically, economically and ethically, and who
possess the ability to maintain equity and even handedness amongst
all their spouses and children, should be permitted to take more
than one spouse for themselves.Undoubtedly, there exists no other alternative than these three.
If we were to choose the first alternative, we would have to wage a
battle against human innate instincts and spiritual requirements,
and disregard these sentiments and feelings of the women - a battle
which we would never win. On the assumption that this scheme is
actually put into practice, the inhumane aspect associated with it is
something which is clear for everyone to see.
In other words, when necessary, this issue should not always be
scrutinized from the viewpoint of the first wife but should also be
analyzed from the standpoint of the second wife. Those who
consider polygamy to be the cause of the sufferings of the first wife,
view this issue from only one perspective. It ought to be studied
from three perspectives - from the standpoint of the male, the first
spouse and the second spouse, and the issue should be judged after
taking into regard the interests and well-being of all three of them.
As for the second alternative, if we were to select it, we would have
to legalize and formalize prostitution. In addition, the women, who
are kept as mistresses and used for sexual gratification, would
neither have any security nor a future for themselves, and their
status would be ruined, and these are things that no rational person
should ever accept.Thus, the only alternative that remains is the third one, which not
only responds positively to the innate desires and the inherent
needs of the women, but it also keeps women away from the evil
consequences of prostitution. It prevents disruption of the lives of
this group of women and thus serves to protect society from a
multitude of sins.It must be noted that although polygamy is a social necessity in
certain instances and is one of the incontestable rulings of Islam,
fulfilling the conditions necessary for it in the present times differs
vastly from that of the past. In the simple and Spartan life of the
past, it was easy for everyone to maintain equity amongst the
spouses but in the present times, those who wish to make use of this
ruling must ensure that comprehensive equity is observed.
Basically, polygamy should not be pursued for the sake of carnal and
physical desires.Interestingly, the very opponents of polygamy (such as the
Westerners), during the course of history, have encountered events
that have clearly manifested their need for it. For example, after
World War II, the need for polygamy was intensely felt in the wartorn
countries, especially Germany, which even compelled some of
their intellectuals to reconsider their views with respect to the
prohibition of polygamy. In addition, they conducted a study of the
Islamic program of multiplicity of wives from al-Azhar University.
However, severe objections on the part of the Church forced them
to shelve their plans; the consequence of which was wild and
outrageous profligacy that eventually engulfed the length and
breadth of the war-torn countries.Apart from the above, the inclination of some of the men to possess
more than one spouse is something that cannot be denied, although
if it were to arise as a result of carnal desires, it is not to be taken
into regard. A wife’s inability to conceive and the husband’s intense
desire to have a child provide a rational support to such an
inclination. There may be instances where the inability of the wife
to satisfy the intense sexual desires of the husband leaves him with
no alternative except to turn towards a second marriage – at times
even compelling him to resort to illegitimate means to achieve his
objective in the absence of legitimate ones. Hence, in cases such as
these, his inclination cannot be regarded as being illogical or
irrational. It is for this reason that even in countries that prohibit
polygamy, in reality, relationships with several women are widely
prevalent whereby one male tends to have illicit relationships with
several women at the same time.
The well-known French historian Gustav Lebon considers the issue
of Islamic polygamy, which is bound and limited by conditions, to be
one of the distinguishing features of this religion. Comparing it with
the free and illicit relationship of a male with several females in
Europe, he states: In the West too, despite the fact that the weather
and natural environment do not warrant such a custom (polygamy),
monogamy is something that we come across only in books of law!
For, I do not suppose that the presence of traces of this custom, in
our actual socialization, can be denied! Honestly, I am at a loss and
fail to comprehend what the legal, but confined, polygamy of the
East lacks in comparison to the phoney polygamy of the West? In
fact, I declare that the former is better and more seemly than the
latter, in every respect.Source -Le Civilisation des Arabes (tarikh-e-Tamaddun-e-Islam Wa Arab), translated
by Fakhr Gilaani, pg. 509 )
Of course it is not to be denied that some of the so-called Muslims,
without taking into regard the Islamic ideology behind this rule,
have sought to misuse it, maintaining ignominious harems for
themselves and violating the rights of their wives. This flaw is not in
the law but rather in the individuals themselves, and their deeds
should not be regarded as the laws of Islam. Is there any law, which,
despite its excellence, is not put to misuse by profiteering
individuals for their personal benefit?
Question: At this juncture some may question that if women find
themselves in the abovementioned circumstances; would they be
permitted to take two husbands for themselves too?
The answer to the above question is not very difficult:
Firstly: (Contrary to what is popular among the general public) the
sexual desire in men is several times more than that in women;
books relating to sexual issues state frigidity to be the disorder
which is prevalent in the majority of women whereas, in the case of
men, it is just the opposite. Even with respect to animals it has been
observed that sexual advancements are usually initiated by the
males of the species.Secondly: Polygamy, in the case of men, does not entail any social or
legal complications whereas, if the women were to possess two
husbands, it would lead to numerous problems - the simplest of
them being the issue of genealogy of the child, for it would not be
known to which of the husbands it belongs, and such a child would
certainly not be cared for and supported by any of the husbands.
Some of the scholars are of the opinion that a child, whose father’s
identity is unknown, tends to be less loved and cared for by the
mother. Thus, such children find themselves deprived and denied
with respect to love and affection, and unclear about their legal
rights.It may perhaps be unnecessary to mention that resorting to
contraceptives such as pills or the like can never yield certainty or
confidence that a child will not be conceived, for there have been
innumerable instances where women, who have used them or made
mistakes while using them, have conceived children. Thus, no
woman can, by trusting and relying upon such measures, take
multiple spouses for herself.