Ismaili LOL

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Muslim First
Posts: 6893
Joined: Tue Jun 19, 2001 4:01 am

Ismaili LOL

#1

Unread post by Muslim First » Fri Nov 16, 2007 8:16 pm

From:
Imam Knowing all languages
kmaherali
Joined: 27 Mar 2003
Posts: 3212
Posted: Sat Jul 14, 2007 9:21 am Post subject: Imam Knowing all languages

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In a private mehmani MHI remarked to a young murid that he knew the language of birds. This murid had raised a question about whether the Imam understood what what recited in the ginan in his presence.

There has been more discussion on this issue under:

Ginans --> Dehee Gur ke Vaachaa hije thir na Rennaa

Doctrines --> Imam Aga Hasn Ali Shah (swt) and hunting.

Muslim First
Posts: 6893
Joined: Tue Jun 19, 2001 4:01 am

Re: Ismaili LOL

#2

Unread post by Muslim First » Fri Nov 16, 2007 8:25 pm

From: blak clothes ???
As far as the Sunni Muslim persecution theory, I don't think it flies as one event was in the African Continent.

"Once Mowlana Hazar Imam,Shah Karim, was visiting the Darkhana at Dar es Salaam. As He was climbing the stairs he noticed that the Mukhi, Najmudin Kassam Dewji, who was just behind the Imam, had put on black socks. Mowlana Hazar Imam cautioned him: " Mukhi you are wearing black socks here?" The mukhi immediately removed the socks and followed his Mowla bare feet."

What about this

Speaking about his enemies and the enemies of Ahl-Bait the Holy Prophet said:

“The sign of our enemies will be that they will wear black clothes."

Muslim First
Posts: 6893
Joined: Tue Jun 19, 2001 4:01 am

Re: Ismaili LOL

#3

Unread post by Muslim First » Fri Nov 16, 2007 8:29 pm

From:

NAMAZ
Namaaz has never been mentioned in the Qu'ran..dua and salaat have been mentioned.

the word namaz is adopted from the persian language. it means fire worship...it was a practise of the Zorastrians who did worship fire.

also if you count the number of Quranic surahs recited in the 5 time namaz i.e. 4 surahs x 5 times a day = 20 surahs per day..
look at the dua...7 surahs x 3 times a day = 21 surahs per day...

which has more sawab?

Muslim First
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Joined: Tue Jun 19, 2001 4:01 am

Re: Ismaili LOL

#4

Unread post by Muslim First » Sat Nov 17, 2007 1:13 pm

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Why doesn’t MHI pray with Jamat?

One poor soul asks;
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dchandani
Joined: 03 Aug 2006
Posts: 25
Posted: Sat Oct 21, 2006 11:50 pm Post subject: why hazr imam does not pray with the jamat
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this is an ineresting question.
does hazar imam have the same prayer as we perform?
how can hazar imam pray to him self?
hence how can he join us in prayers?

he can join in an eid namaz
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karimqazi posts (partial)
Joined: 18 Dec 2003
Posts: 65
Location: Houston, Texas


te ali ne tame sahi allah kari sajdo karo cho to ame poochye chyye
ke ame kone sajdo karye (Imam Hassan Ali Shah)

may mowla bless you all and enlighten your lives
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zubair_mahamood Chimes in (Partial)
Joined: 14 Jan 2006
Posts: 177
Location: Paris
Posted: Thu Nov 09, 2006 5:45 am Post subject: Re: Why doesn't MHI pray with the jamat

Recently I had a chance to see Hazar Imam in Paris. I was with fellow Ismaili and Mowla greeted us with a smile and Ya Ali Madad. For us HE is Ali then how come he calls Himself for help?
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And
nowroozalisabiti says (partial)
Joined: 11 Nov 2006
Posts: 30
Location: Shughnan, Badakhshan, Afghanistan
Posted: Sat Jan 20, 2007 7:24 pm Post subject:

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Ya Ali Maddad,
MHI doesn't need for prayer; Because HE is himself the complete intellect. He has reached to the highest level of the knowledge and certainty .
.

Nobigotry
Posts: 183
Joined: Mon Apr 08, 2002 4:01 am

Re: Ismaili LOL

#5

Unread post by Nobigotry » Sat Nov 17, 2007 2:30 pm

Muslim First - stop boring us with extracts from Ismaili.net; we can all (well most anyway) can visit that site without difficulty if we so wish just as we can visit ask the imam site for even more hilarious stuff - not only are the questions side-splitting but the replies are real killers - and all in the name of Allah!

If you want real humour visit this site:

http://iowahawk.typepad.com/iowahawk/20 ... her_i.html

Nobigotry
Posts: 183
Joined: Mon Apr 08, 2002 4:01 am

Re: Ismaili LOL

#6

Unread post by Nobigotry » Sat Nov 17, 2007 2:42 pm

As laughter is the best medicine - notwithstanding the hadith that Turbo posted in Jokes on Kothar - here is another rip-roaring site for anyone who wishes to have a laugh:

http://www.somethingawful.com/d/weekend ... iverse.php

See MF I the others decide whether they wish to view the stuff or not - I do not paste it here. That is civil etiquette - an absolute anathema for wahabis!

Gursevak
Posts: 249
Joined: Sun May 05, 2002 4:01 am

Re: Ismaili LOL

#7

Unread post by Gursevak » Sat Nov 17, 2007 9:19 pm

Yaar anymore of these beauts? reaaalleee reaalleee funeeeeeee

anajmi
Posts: 13508
Joined: Wed Jan 10, 2001 5:01 am

Re: Ismaili LOL

#8

Unread post by anajmi » Sat Nov 17, 2007 9:41 pm

On both the links that were posted, the funny comments come from those who are ridiculing the religion and the answers. On the links that brother Muslim First posted, the funny comments come from the Imam and his followers.

Not sure if you will understand the difference or the etiquette in question.

turbocanuck
Posts: 1531
Joined: Wed Jul 23, 2003 4:01 am

Re: Ismaili LOL

#9

Unread post by turbocanuck » Sun Nov 18, 2007 1:58 am

Originally posted by Nobigotry:
Muslim First - stop boring us with extracts from Ismaili.net; we can all (well most anyway) can visit that site without difficulty if we so wish just as we can visit ask the imam site for even more hilarious stuff - not only are the questions side-splitting but the replies are real killers - and all in the name of Allah!

If you want real humour visit this site:

http://iowahawk.typepad.com/iowahawk/20 ... her_i.html
Since wahabbis like the joke links, maybe i should host the daily "stupid wahhabi" joke of the day.......on the other hand that may be an oxymoron, because what i may post daily will be the Godawful truth and not a joke......ah well these idits are a joke anyway.
Lets give it a whirl today.......(am i going to enjoy these!!)

expressindia.com
Riyadh, September 29: A Saudi man divorced his wife for watching alone a television programme presented by a male, an act he deemed immoral.

The man ended his marriage on the grounds his wife was effectively alone with an unrelated man, which is forbidden under the strict Islamic law enforced in the ultra-conservative kingdom, the Al Shams newspaper reported on Saturday.
Men in Saudi Arabia have the authority to divorce their wives without resort to the courts.

:D

anajmi
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Re: Ismaili LOL

#10

Unread post by anajmi » Sun Nov 18, 2007 5:32 am

turbonut :D

The wahhabi did that because he wasn't able to find the correct interpretation of the quran according to the Hazar Imam. And why is that? Because it doesn't exist ... LALOL

anajmi :D

turbocanuck
Posts: 1531
Joined: Wed Jul 23, 2003 4:01 am

Re: Ismaili LOL

#11

Unread post by turbocanuck » Sun Nov 18, 2007 7:12 am

Originally posted by anajmi:
turbonut :D

The wahhabi did that because he wasn't able to find the correct interpretation of the quran according to the Hazar Imam. And why is that? Because it doesn't exist ... LALOL

anajmi :D
I think he did it because of the brain not existing in the Sunni/Wahhabi heads.........LALOL (whatever the hell that means)

:D

Nobigotry
Posts: 183
Joined: Mon Apr 08, 2002 4:01 am

Re: Ismaili LOL

#12

Unread post by Nobigotry » Sun Nov 18, 2007 7:27 am

Pardon me but I did not see much humour in the MF links whereas the sites I linked were out and out meant to be funny. If we are going to find humour in the practices and beliefs of the different sects then I guess there is a whole host of "crackers" in Islam itself - can someone post a list of dos and don'ts for Hajj and see how many of us don't raise an eyebrow. And God alone knows what a non-Muslim might make of the moon being rent asunder

Nobigotry
Posts: 183
Joined: Mon Apr 08, 2002 4:01 am

Re: Ismaili LOL

#13

Unread post by Nobigotry » Sun Nov 18, 2007 8:36 am

On both the links that were posted, the funny comments come from those who are ridiculing the religion and the answers. On the links that brother Muslim First posted, the funny comments come from the Imam and his followers.
As you say the funny comments came from the answers - I am told by my Muslim colleagues that the Internet Imam gives as good an interpretation of the Sunnah as I am likely to get anywhere.

Is Ismaili.net the official site of the Ismailis? If not why do you accept whwt you read there as being the official line? Why should non-Muslims not take the Mufti's answers as representing Islam?

Gursevak
Posts: 249
Joined: Sun May 05, 2002 4:01 am

Re: Ismaili LOL

#14

Unread post by Gursevak » Sun Nov 18, 2007 2:16 pm

Rules of Joking in Islam

Some people joke too much and it becomes a habit for them. This is the opposite of the serious nature which is the characteristic of the believers. Joking is a break, a rest from ongoing seriousness and striving; it is a little relaxation for the soul. ‘Umar ibn ‘Abd al-‘Azeez (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: “Fear joking, for it is folly and generates grudges.”

Imaam al-Nawawi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: “The kind of joking which is forbidden is that which is excessive and persistent, for it leads to too much laughter and hardening of the heart, it distracts from remembrance of Allaah, and it often leads to hurt feelings, generates hatred and causes people to lose respect and dignity. But whoever is safe from such dangers, then that which the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to do is permissible for him.”

Sa’d ibn Abi Waqqaas said: “Set a limit to your jokes, for going to extremes makes you lose respect and incites the foolish against you.”

The amount of joking should be like the amount of salt in one’s food.

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Do not laugh too much, for laughing too much deadens the heart.” (Saheeh al-Jaami’, 7312)

‘Umar ibn al-Khattaab (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: “Whoever laughs too much or jokes too much loses respect, and whoever persists in doing something will be known for it.”

So beware of joking, for it “causes a person to lose face after he was thought of as respectable, and it brings him humiliation after esteem.”

A man said to Sufyaan ibn ‘Uyaynah (may Allaah be pleased with him), “Joking is not right, it is to be denounced.” He replied, “Rather it is Sunnah, but only for those who know how to do it and do it at the appropriate time.”

Nowadays, although the ummah needs to increase the love between its individual members and to relieve itself of boredom, it has gone too far with regard to relaxation, laughter and jokes. This has become a habit which fills their gatherings and wastes their time, so their lives are wasted and their newspapers are filled with jokes and trivia.

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “If you knew what I know, you would laugh little and weep much.” In Fath al-Baari it says: “What is meant by knowledge here has to do with the might of Allaah and His vengeance upon those who disobey Him, and the terrors that occur at death, in the grave and on the Day of Resurrection).

Muslim men and women have to be inclined to choose righteous and serious friends in their lives, who will help them to make good use of their time and strive for the sake of Allaah with seriousness and steadfastness, good and righteous people whose example they can follow. Bilaal ibn Sa’d said: “I saw them [the Sahaabah] jokingly pretending to fight over some goods, and laughing with one another, but when night came they were like monks.”

Ibn ‘Umar (may Allaah be pleased with him) was asked, “Did the Companions of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) laugh?” He said, “Yes, and the faith in their hearts was like mountains.”

So you have to follow the example of such people, who were knights by day and monks (i.e., devoted worshippers) by night.

May Allaah keep us, you and our parents safe on the Day of the Greatest Terror, those to whom the call will go out on that great Day:

“Enter Paradise, no fear shall be on you, nor shall you grieve”

[al-A’raaf 7:49 – interpretation of the meaning]

anajmi
Posts: 13508
Joined: Wed Jan 10, 2001 5:01 am

Re: Ismaili LOL

#15

Unread post by anajmi » Sun Nov 18, 2007 3:38 pm

I actually saw a lot of humour in brother Muslim First's posting. For eg. the Hazar Imam can talk to birds so I was wondering, may be he told them the correct interpretation of the quran. May be he thinks the birds are smarter than the human Ismaili idiots.

Then, this was the other funny thing
also if you count the number of Quranic surahs recited in the 5 time namaz i.e. 4 surahs x 5 times a day = 20 surahs per day..
look at the dua...7 surahs x 3 times a day = 21 surahs per day...
surahs recited in 5 times namaz calculation was pretty funny. LALOL :D

porus
Posts: 3594
Joined: Thu Dec 13, 2001 5:01 am

Re: Ismaili LOL

#16

Unread post by porus » Sun Nov 18, 2007 4:08 pm

Originally posted by anajmi:
I actually saw a lot of humour in brother Muslim First's posting. For eg. the Hazar Imam can talk to birds.....
If you find that funny then you will split with laughter when reading Quran 27:16.

And Jesus said about his miracles: "These, and even greater things, you can do yourself." Now laught at that too!

Since your fellow bigot, MF, wants to pass on popular beliefs as 'recieved; dogma of the Ismailies, he should pass this one as Bohra belief too:

When I was a child, I was informed by a popular Bohra guy -he was good at cricket- that Quran teaches us the method of how to make an atom bomb. And I kept repeating it to everyone until my father had a word with me.

anajmi
Posts: 13508
Joined: Wed Jan 10, 2001 5:01 am

Re: Ismaili LOL

#17

Unread post by anajmi » Sun Nov 18, 2007 4:17 pm

You are right. It is not a joke, Hazar Imam can talk to birds and porus can cure the blind and the leper.... Don't laugh!!

porus
Posts: 3594
Joined: Thu Dec 13, 2001 5:01 am

Re: Ismaili LOL

#18

Unread post by porus » Sun Nov 18, 2007 4:35 pm

Originally posted by anajmi:
You are right. It is not a joke, Hazar Imam can talk to birds and porus can cure the blind and the leper.... Don't laugh!!
Now that you have stopped laughing, that is the first step toewards enlightenment. (Always remember that Prophet said you must not laugh too much.)

All that remains for you to do is to prove that Hazar Imam cannot talk to birds and porus cannot cure the blind and the leper.

anajmi
Posts: 13508
Joined: Wed Jan 10, 2001 5:01 am

Re: Ismaili LOL

#19

Unread post by anajmi » Sun Nov 18, 2007 4:49 pm

Actually, it's very easy to prove that. I was talking to this pigeon yesterday and he told me he was in london visiting the Hazar Imam and asked him for some ginans. The Hazar Imam had no clue what he was talking about. He kept trying to shove bird seeds up his beak. I can similarly prove the rest too. You want to get into the details?

porus
Posts: 3594
Joined: Thu Dec 13, 2001 5:01 am

Re: Ismaili LOL

#20

Unread post by porus » Sun Nov 18, 2007 4:58 pm

Lying is against Islam. So do not tell a lie. We all know pegions only know Arabic and you do not know Arabic. Pegions cannot understand Yusufali either. I know that for a fact.

anajmi
Posts: 13508
Joined: Wed Jan 10, 2001 5:01 am

Re: Ismaili LOL

#21

Unread post by anajmi » Sun Nov 18, 2007 5:18 pm

I guess if pigeons know Arabic then it isn't such a unique quality to be able to talk to them. The Hazar Imam will have to start talking to rats to maintain his status.

turbocanuck
Posts: 1531
Joined: Wed Jul 23, 2003 4:01 am

Re: Ismaili LOL

#22

Unread post by turbocanuck » Sun Nov 18, 2007 6:06 pm

Originally posted by anajmi:
I guess if pigeons know Arabic then it isn't such a unique quality to be able to talk to them. The Hazar Imam will have to start talking to rats to maintain his status.
Hey you are right there for once.....MHI had an audience with some Arabs from UAE recently (read Wahhabi) and got talking to them.......so you're right MHI has also started to talk to RATS.......LALOL (whatever the hell it means in Wahhabi)

Muslim First
Posts: 6893
Joined: Tue Jun 19, 2001 4:01 am

Re: Ismaili LOL

#23

Unread post by Muslim First » Mon Nov 19, 2007 12:40 pm

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Read the Quran or follow the speaking Quran.
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samirziz
Joined: 15 Jun 2006
Posts: 85
Posted: Fri Aug 31, 2007 1:03 pm Post subject: Read the Quran or follow the speaking Quran.

Hazar Imam is the speaking Quran, therefore his word is the word of God.
Should we then not read the Quran?


Thanks!

Responce from resident scholar "kmaherali"

Joined: 27 Mar 2003
Posts: 2979

Posted: Fri Aug 31, 2007 5:04 pm Post subject: Re: Read the Quran or follow the speaking Quran.

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Of course we should read the Quran. Didin't MHI tell us recently in East Africa. But he has also said that we should study parts of the Quran and be selective and use our intellects in this regard and not to accept it at its face value.

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My Note:
Turbo's Qura'n Quotes reflects his and his Anglo MHI's deep understanig of Holy book of Islam!!!!!
.

Muslim First
Posts: 6893
Joined: Tue Jun 19, 2001 4:01 am

Re: Ismaili LOL

#24

Unread post by Muslim First » Mon Nov 19, 2007 12:45 pm

THE DARSHAN OF DAS AVTAAR

A HOLY DIDAR OF “DAS AVTAARS”


“IT WAS DUE TO THE GRACE OF IMAM SULTAN MUHAMMAD SHAH (A.S.) THAT HE BESTOWED HIS UNIQUE HOLY DIDAR - - A DARSHAN OF ‘DAS AVTARS’ TO ME AND IT LED TO EMBRACE ISMAILI SATPANTH”

A LECTURE DELIVERED BY MR. JAFFERALI LALJI AT THE GOLDEN JUBILEE HALL, DAR-ES-SALAAM, IN SEPTEMBER 1941. THE AUTHOR WAS PRESENT.

Dear Brothers and Sisters,

A few years ago, I was a Hindu by cast, resident of Gujerat. Ismaili missionaries from the Recreation Club of Bombay were visiting our Province on mission of propagating Ismaili Faith. They used to arrange ‘BHAJAN PARTIES’ and ‘SATSANG’ gatherings where I was invited several times.

Your missionaries were, no doubt, well versed in VED, GITA, and PURAN Shashtras and through these scriptures, they endeavoured to prove Ismaili Dharma (Religion) as THE TRUE “SATPANTH” DHARMA where in “NOOR-E-ALI” had descended and IMAM SULTAN MOHAMED SHAH is the FORTY_EIGHTH BEARER of THE “NOOR-E-IMAMAT,” DASMA NAKLANKI AVTAR.

After a number of SATSANG MULAKATS most of the members of our group, numbering two hundred, were convinced of what the missionaries had said about the DIVINE ASPECT of MOWLANA SULTAN MOHAMED SHAH, who was the FORTY_EIGHTH JOMADHARI NOOR MOWLA MURTAZA ALI (SHRI VISHNU VAR DATAR). We, the participants of the ISMAILI BHAJAN MANDALI, were well convinced and agreed to embrace ISMAILI FAITH, but in one way wished it was practically proved – the DIVINE POWER and the PROOF of the “DASMA NAKLANK AVTAR” by MOWLANA SULTAN MOHAMED SHAH HIMSELF. Our group submitted the above suggestion because it would be extremely hard for us to discard our faith and desert our relatives, friends and fellow brothers unless we had been convinced to the fullest as to the genuineness of the DIVINE “LIGHT” OF SHRI VISHNU.

turbocanuck
Posts: 1531
Joined: Wed Jul 23, 2003 4:01 am

Re: Ismaili LOL

#25

Unread post by turbocanuck » Mon Nov 19, 2007 12:48 pm

MF and your point being ????. BTW, is not kissing some black stone a pagan ritual?

Muslim First
Posts: 6893
Joined: Tue Jun 19, 2001 4:01 am

Re: Ismaili LOL

#26

Unread post by Muslim First » Mon Nov 19, 2007 1:50 pm


Muslim First
Posts: 6893
Joined: Tue Jun 19, 2001 4:01 am

Re: Ismaili LOL

#27

Unread post by Muslim First » Mon Nov 19, 2007 1:51 pm

.
MF and your point being ????.
LOL in Ismailis
.

Muslim First
Posts: 6893
Joined: Tue Jun 19, 2001 4:01 am

Re: Ismaili LOL

#28

Unread post by Muslim First » Mon Nov 19, 2007 1:52 pm

Sorry

LOL on Aga Khanis
.

Nobigotry
Posts: 183
Joined: Mon Apr 08, 2002 4:01 am

Re: Ismaili LOL

#29

Unread post by Nobigotry » Mon Nov 19, 2007 2:03 pm

Isn't this all getting out of hand now?

Turbo - in your desire to get back at the wahabi zombie you may now be offending a lot of other Muslims on this board. From your posts one can infer that you are well educated and so it does not behove anyone here to lecture you on worldly matters but the phrase "let barking dogs..." does spring to mind. MF is well steeped in wahabi doctrines - he just cannot accept any other viewpoint pretend though he may to be only anti-Ismaili. What is the point of wasting any nervous energy on a dead donkey? You will see from my membership number that I have been here for quite a while. In that time I have seen the zombie being shot to pieces by other posters - he quickly retreats, probably reads up on his "Bible" (and I have chosen that word to rile him)or is tutored by his mentors and returns with more crap. And your other punchbag quickly leaps to his defence as he no doubt will.

Nobigotry
Posts: 183
Joined: Mon Apr 08, 2002 4:01 am

Re: Ismaili LOL

#30

Unread post by Nobigotry » Mon Nov 19, 2007 2:14 pm

LALOL (whatever the hell it means in Wahhabi)
Come now Turbo! These are all acronyms - the LA stands for Little Anajmi - that's what they all call him (his wife refers to a certain part of his anatomy when she calls him little!)When I posted earlier that he was a hen-pecked midget I had little idea how close to the truth I was.