New Rules..!!

The one and only free public forum for Bohras. The focus of this forum is the reform movement, the Dawoodi Bohra faith and, of course, the corrupt priesthood. But the discussion is in no way restricted to the Bohras alone.
zinger
Posts: 2201
Joined: Wed Sep 26, 2012 2:40 am

Re: New Rules..!!

#301

Unread post by zinger » Fri Oct 10, 2014 5:14 am

admin, may i suggest this entire thread be moved to The Lighter Side?

I dont see how jokes have a place in this serious Bohras and Reforms forum

thanks

Al Zulfiqar
Posts: 4618
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 5:01 am

Re: New Rules..!!

#302

Unread post by Al Zulfiqar » Fri Oct 10, 2014 3:21 pm

zinger wrote:admin, may i suggest this entire thread be moved to The Lighter Side?
I dont see how jokes have a place in this serious Bohras and Reforms forum
thanks
does one require further proof of the low IQ of this self-confessed hypocrite? he finds the New Rules thread funny!!!! just unbelievable...!!! omg! how can this idiot see humour in such a serious thread which concerns bohras and reform?? something is definitely wrong up there in his cranium. maybe he is loco in his poco moco?! maybe he has been struck by a dreaded and fearful disease called hydroencephalus? or god forbid, rabies?

i would not be surprised at this crazy fellow, after seeing such an alarming behaviour from him, that he might be considered a dangerous outcast at funerals and around hospitals, if he broke out into uncontrollable laughter or started whirling like a mad derwish at the sight of a terminally ill patient or a sombre procession of mourners bearing aloft their dearly departed.

the New Rules thread is fundamental to the 'serious' cause of bohras and reform, emanating as it is through 'deep throat', emdedded into the very depths of saifee mahal wherein zinger's beloved resides and the even more beloved ex- dai resided. deep throat, i assure you, is a very sober, serious and sombre character, living constantly in danger of his life as he is. nary a smile ever escapes his stern visage, not by any stretch of the most far-fetched imagination can he ever be associated with mirth.

but what is heartening is that zinger considers the issue of bohras and reform very serious, and personally takes it so 'seriously'. we need more like him, who eat, sleep and dream reform 24/7. the matter of 'loving' the dai, or defending his behaviour and actions tooth and nail notwithstanding.

i am glad that atleast one staunch 'serious reformer' finds jolly good humour where none exists.

Ozdundee
Posts: 892
Joined: Wed May 29, 2013 6:57 am

Re: New Rules..!!

#303

Unread post by Ozdundee » Fri Oct 10, 2014 9:01 pm

AZbhaisaheb I had a nightmare ...AZ is actually deep throat , with long grey bearded a Shazada , almost look a like like GM Bhaisahebs photos , with a beautiful second wife from young Jamia graduate calling herself zadi....and sheikh SBM the guy holding the rumal and zebra hair whisk direct from a hunting safari.

I think I saw in the crowd grinning that finally the last one was tamed the crowd was made up of humsafar, SI, Canadian , jC, QRL..MKenya human being was the reciter ..I have not seen Asad? I think I saw. Muslim first and Anajmi too in the crowd..upstairs in fancy ridas Um, saminaben...

Outside in non VIP area the zinger..and SKQ mob

And then sound came into nightmare that you were going to forgive my sins of being a Munafiq if I would accept your lord as the boss...I was about to admire your bounties peeking from her side rida as I was handing an envelop but not sure if I placed money..but SBM would have got Admin to make sure it was not empty ...and I was interrupted ...the bloody bogan next door started his sniper lawn mover and woke me up ! I cursed him like I have learned from abdes..maloon, dawedar, lain...and he asked g'day mate thanks but what did you say...

Let's see if I can try tonight to finish the nightmare which is turning to a dream and ask for the miracles that I have learnt from abdes is very possible ....my wife has Okayed to beg for the desires...you get hint wink wink nudge nudge...on condition I can budget and house 2 roti makers and she is the team lead, I corrected her that one roti maker is enough ..I was thinking of adding a kebab maker or spicy noodles maker if that was possible...but definitely not stubby and roast maker that my neighbours wife is...do you have any limitations in your offers ?

What is a logic of dream...it is random thought process replayed in the brain!
Last edited by Ozdundee on Fri Oct 10, 2014 9:14 pm, edited 1 time in total.

SBM
Posts: 6507
Joined: Sun May 09, 2004 4:01 am

Re: New Rules..!!

#304

Unread post by SBM » Fri Oct 10, 2014 9:09 pm

That is the nightmare that I am holding Rumal instead of the hands of Shezaadi :mrgreen:

truth seeker100
Posts: 165
Joined: Tue May 20, 2014 5:54 pm

Re: New Rules..!!

#305

Unread post by truth seeker100 » Sat Oct 11, 2014 10:31 am

Ozdundee wrote:AZbhaisaheb I had a nightmare ...AZ is actually deep throat , with long grey bearded a Shazada , almost look a like like GM Bhaisahebs photos , with a beautiful second wife from young Jamia graduate calling herself zadi....and sheikh SBM the guy holding the rumal and zebra hair whisk direct from a hunting safari.

I think I saw in the crowd grinning that finally the last one was tamed the crowd was made up of humsafar, SI, Canadian , jC, QRL..MKenya human being was the reciter ..I have not seen Asad? I think I saw. Muslim first and Anajmi too in the crowd..upstairs in fancy ridas Um, saminaben...

Outside in non VIP area the zinger..and SKQ mob

And then sound came into nightmare that you were going to forgive my sins of being a Munafiq if I would accept your lord as the boss...I was about to admire your bounties peeking from her side rida as I was handing an envelop but not sure if I placed money..but SBM would have got Admin to make sure it was not empty ...and I was interrupted ...the bloody bogan next door started his sniper lawn mover and woke me up ! I cursed him like I have learned from abdes..maloon, dawedar, lain...and he asked g'day mate thanks but what did you say...

Let's see if I can try tonight to finish the nightmare which is turning to a dream and ask for the miracles that I have learnt from abdes is very possible ....my wife has Okayed to beg for the desires...you get hint wink wink nudge nudge...on condition I can budget and house 2 roti makers and she is the team lead, I corrected her that one roti maker is enough ..I was thinking of adding a kebab maker or spicy noodles maker if that was possible...but definitely not stubby and roast maker that my neighbours wife is...do you have any limitations in your offers ?

What is a logic of dream...it is random thought process replayed in the brain!
bro where was I in your nightmare?

SBM
Posts: 6507
Joined: Sun May 09, 2004 4:01 am

Re: New Rules..!!

#306

Unread post by SBM » Sat Oct 11, 2014 12:00 pm

truth seeker100 wrote:
Ozdundee wrote:AZbhaisaheb I had a nightmare ...AZ is actually deep throat , with long grey bearded a Shazada , almost look a like like GM Bhaisahebs photos , with a beautiful second wife from young Jamia graduate calling herself zadi....and sheikh SBM the guy holding the rumal and zebra hair whisk direct from a hunting safari.------.but definitely not stubby and roast maker that my neighbours wife is...do you have any limitations in your offers ?
What is a logic of dream...it is random thought process replayed in the brain!
bro where was I in your nightmare?
With Anajmi and Matheist :D

Al Zulfiqar
Posts: 4618
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 5:01 am

Re: New Rules..!!

#307

Unread post by Al Zulfiqar » Sat Oct 11, 2014 12:12 pm

ozzy,

you should know better than to make light of this 'serious' thread and play into the hands of dead serious dai lovers like marhoom zinger. by making me a zaada in jest and populating your nightmare with forum members of great respectability and integrity, making them do talaqqi and chammar khidmat, taking and giving hefty salaams in bulging envelopes, you have taken this thread away from the 'serious' ideals that deep throat envisioned.

you will now have to perform penance. please haul your sorry jocular backside into the august presence of the hazrate aaliyah imamiyah qudsaniya and submit to a hundred secret sabaks followed by misaq and ziyafat with fakhir salaam of 152,000 AUD. the final act of retribution will be for you to invite mufatlal and his entire motley coterie to australia and treat them to a lavish feast of shrimps, lobsters and reef crabs thrown onto the barbie at bondi beach. this will perforce include outfitting the divine kafila with scuba diving suits so they can survey the barrier reef at leisure. the only concession i can grant you is to personally train the zaadis and help them obtain PADI certification, as well as teach them how to dance to the tune of 'waltzing matilda'.

i hope this serves as lesson to you never again to inject humor into life and death topics when the future of the 100 million bohra community is at stake.

btw, do i suspect that your hallucinations were triggered by a copious ingestion of ... fosters?


Ozdundee
Posts: 892
Joined: Wed May 29, 2013 6:57 am

Re: New Rules..!!

#308

Unread post by Ozdundee » Sat Oct 11, 2014 9:47 pm

Truth seeker you were the muffy guard harassing me when I entered ?

Shazada AZ I tried hard last night but no nightmare to continue the dream run...So your curse has made me mehrum from your bounties...regular Bohras keep getting dreams and they do wonders....we are not the same beings.

You think I am stoned when I try to dream...the millions that is their second life that they live everyday

As I was trained when I was a budding abde and I remember the good old days...you have given me raza to invite your lord to this forgotten continent. What I am not sure where I should host him in reality or dreamland ?

I guess people of high intellect will get my hidden message , I was not insulting your topic...should I be seeking forgiveness...tawil in my story...some may have thought I may have had a few stubbies...and by the way we sold fosters I think to Japs long time back...life has changed and moved on in real Australia

100 million Bohras ....that will be real nightmare...we will demand our own country and sharia...muffy will have a commando unit , militia...he will have a seat at the UN....he will form alliance with North Korea...reformists will be beheaded!

Let me simplify for the naive...
True Reformists will never be tamed...only in dreams or nightmares
The abdes need to record their behaviour and replay their character and behaviour and see if it is comedy or tragedy
Like a dream or nightmare we see the dramas of a regular Bohra and reforms remain a dream!

Al Zulfiqar
Posts: 4618
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 5:01 am

Re: New Rules..!!

#309

Unread post by Al Zulfiqar » Sat Oct 11, 2014 10:31 pm

Ozdundee wrote: 100 million Bohras .....we will demand our own country and sharia...muffy will have a commando unit , militia...he will have a seat at the UN....he will form alliance with North Korea...reformists will be beheaded!
!
ozzy, first declare yourself to be a parsee, then announce this dream you have mentioned above to your local amil, who will then convey it to mufatlal. soon you will be in the divine presence of the supreme lord of the worlds, getting the azeemushaan opportunity to fall at his lotus like feet and recount the vision you saw in your fevered sleep.

mate, you will be rolling in wealth beyond the wildest dreams of avarice. muffy will reward you and your family and allow you to perform his navjot, clothe him in a saadri and invite him to your parsee agiary to make him a pucca 'apro ghelyo muflo'...

Al Zulfiqar
Posts: 4618
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 5:01 am

Re: New Rules..!!

#310

Unread post by Al Zulfiqar » Mon Oct 13, 2014 11:55 pm

ozzy, awaiting your status report. muharram is near, do not fear, be not wary, do not tarry.

zinger
Posts: 2201
Joined: Wed Sep 26, 2012 2:40 am

Re: New Rules..!!

#311

Unread post by zinger » Tue Oct 14, 2014 6:08 am

Hi Admin,

I submit to you AZ, the resident joker.

i rest my case!

Ozdundee
Posts: 892
Joined: Wed May 29, 2013 6:57 am

Re: New Rules..!!

#312

Unread post by Ozdundee » Tue Oct 14, 2014 6:52 am

Al Zulfiqar wrote:ozzy, awaiting your status report. muharram is near, do not fear, be not wary, do not tarry.

The nightmare is not returning!

I lost you buddy there..may be it is a bad day at work ..1st world problems at work...

Now you claim Mufatlal a parsee too...what an insult to the Parsees ...by the way that word is catching I accidentally called him mola Muftlal to my abde relative and had to quickly correct it as slip of tongue as I odd not want an argument.

The the nearest Amil by distance is Melbourne....he will not entertain me if he realises who I am....he will utter curses and will threaten me with ..whatever penalties abdes comply with when they took the new 2014 misaq edition part b which has a new Mazoon and mukasir .

Al Zulfiqar
Posts: 4618
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 5:01 am

Re: New Rules..!!

#313

Unread post by Al Zulfiqar » Tue Oct 14, 2014 2:23 pm

zinger wrote:Hi Admin,

I submit to you AZ, the resident joker.

i rest my case!
zinger, did you find the rajasthani marwari's public declaration of his dream wherein he saw nassbandi being performed on mufatlal a joke? he was received by mufatlal himself and accorded a VIP reception befiiting royalty and his women folk were allowed to tie rakhi on mufatlal's paak wrestler's wrists.

why do you keep seeing jokes in everything posted here? are you perhaps suffering from a bi-polar disorder or schizophrenia? are you slowly going insane, with your neural synapses losing random transmission and thus delivering garbled messages to your brain??

if a parsee's endorsement of mufatlal is funny, then the marwari's sworn testament is de facto also funny. in that case, your sorry behind should be hauled into saifee mahal and your std shredded into tiny little pieces. is there no limit to the scorn you heap on your aqa mufatlal? is there no limit to how low you will stoop in your insults to the lord of the worlds?? in your zeal to discredit me, you are ridiculing your own dai and ilah ul ardh. shame on you!! how dare you rest on your 'case'??!

zinger
Posts: 2201
Joined: Wed Sep 26, 2012 2:40 am

Re: New Rules..!!

#314

Unread post by zinger » Tue Oct 14, 2014 10:37 pm

Hi Admin,

Actually, you are right. allowing this thread to be in the "serious" bohras and reform forum is a good idea. gives a great idea of the tomfoolery that goes on as REFORM

haqniwaat
Posts: 516
Joined: Wed Aug 06, 2014 6:06 pm

Re: New Rules..!!

#315

Unread post by haqniwaat » Wed Oct 15, 2014 12:09 am

Sorry to ask a silly question, but who is this admin you guys are referring to?

Al Zulfiqar
Posts: 4618
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 5:01 am

Re: New Rules..!!

#316

Unread post by Al Zulfiqar » Wed Oct 15, 2014 7:04 am

haqniwaat wrote:Sorry to ask a silly question, but who is this admin you guys are referring to?
hnw,

the admin is no one but zinger. he has a habit of talking to himself when no one is listening.

haqniwaat
Posts: 516
Joined: Wed Aug 06, 2014 6:06 pm

Re: New Rules..!!

#317

Unread post by haqniwaat » Wed Oct 15, 2014 3:41 pm

:lol:

zinger
Posts: 2201
Joined: Wed Sep 26, 2012 2:40 am

Re: New Rules..!!

#318

Unread post by zinger » Thu Oct 16, 2014 12:52 am

HNW, admin is the administrator of this site

he/she/they are the ones who control what goes on

they are in charge of general maintenance and upkeep of the site and making sure topics, when go out of hand, are brought back in order

its a thankless job and they should be appreciated for it although under the guise of free speech, they allow a lot of leeway. that is their only drawback. other than that, they are doing a fine job

Al Zulfiqar
Posts: 4618
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 5:01 am

Re: New Rules..!!

#319

Unread post by Al Zulfiqar » Thu Oct 16, 2014 12:35 pm

zinger,

i have to give credit where credit is due. your reply was sensible, to the point and easily understandable for haqniwaat. thank you.

i also have to acknowledge that although you were a blind 'lover' of the ex-dai and glossed over all his excesses and encouragement of shirk, you seem to have turned over a new leaf and are showing a great deal of awareness and showing defiance towards his son, mufaddal. better late than never. we have to be thankful for all the small victories and your change in belief and weakening of total and blind faith is a welcome harbinger of things to come. i never had anything personal against you. please continue in your quest towards awakening and awareness and i will be your biggest supporter.


Al Zulfiqar
Posts: 4618
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 5:01 am

Re: New Rules..!!

#320

Unread post by Al Zulfiqar » Mon Oct 20, 2014 1:41 pm

i have been informed by 'deep throat' that the lead-up to the gigantic ashura picnic bash in surat is already providing him tons of material for 'new rules.'

but he has asked me to be patient, as the culmination of the 10 day concerts and spectacular performances by several bohra rock stars and celebrities will result in a gold mine of innovative rules and farmaans. it might be wiser, he feels, to collate all the material and release it after the shaandaar muharram jashan is over.

i wonder, will it be another epic 'tale of 2 cities', or maybe a saga similar to miguel de cervantes' gallant knight don quixote tilting at windmills? let us wait and see...

humanbeing
Posts: 2195
Joined: Sun Nov 20, 2011 2:30 am

Re: New Rules..!!

#321

Unread post by humanbeing » Tue Oct 21, 2014 2:54 am

I am looking forward to new episodes of Mojizas ! haven’t heard any new masala recently !

Al Zulfiqar
Posts: 4618
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 5:01 am

Re: New Rules..!!

#322

Unread post by Al Zulfiqar » Wed Oct 22, 2014 1:36 pm

humanbeing wrote:I am looking forward to new episodes of Mojizas ! haven’t heard any new masala recently !
hb,

you have greviously sinned once again.! i strongly object to your usage of the term 'masala" in connection with mojizas... how dare you make light of mojizas performed by the last 3 dai's? dont you know that the 51st dai has been designated as "shamsud doatul mutlaqeen" - the brightest shining sun in the pantheon of bohra duats? dont you know that the 52nd dai is the only one among all islamic figures in history to be designated as "Al Hayy" - the immortal, alive and eternal? and the 53rd dai is the first one to be designated as "Aali Qadr" - worthy of the highest respect? he is the first dai to have communicated with the dead and personally seen his brother and father in the company of the imam and panjatan paak??

this sort of mockery of their mojizas is an unacceptable insult to these 3 and thus allah directly. your only hope at salvation is to immediately proceed to surat and throw yrself at the kadam mubarak of the syedna bin al hayy bin shamsud doatul... i will intercede on your behalf through qaid johar bhaisaheb, but will have to have access to considerable financial resources which of course you will have to prepare. a sum of approx 10-12 crores comes to mind. have 2-3 top class std's and phetas ready to be on-the-go. pack your toothbrush and if you can, bring that dreamer rajput along, his presence may melt the heart of the hazrate imamiyah...

this will teach you a severe lesson never again to indulge in such ignoble frolic at these great souls' expense!

humanbeing
Posts: 2195
Joined: Sun Nov 20, 2011 2:30 am

Re: New Rules..!!

#323

Unread post by humanbeing » Thu Oct 23, 2014 6:14 am

Al Zulfiqar wrote: the 53rd dai is the first one to be designated as "Aali Qadr" - worthy of the highest respect? he is the first dai to have communicated with the dead and personally seen his brother and father in the company of the imam and panjatan paak??
In addition to the above achievements, the azeem-o-shaan of the 53rd Dawedar SMS has following to his credit : SMS is a First Dai to do the following :
Cross Closed Railway Crossing Phaatak
Made Rotiees with his own hands
Ziyafat by the swimming pool
Maximum number of events in limited hours ( Ziyafat, Nikaahs, Misaaq etc)
Maximum Chartered flights
Performed Imam-Hussein’s shahadat on a runway

Akhtiar Wahid
Posts: 804
Joined: Mon Mar 08, 2010 9:22 am

Re: New Rules..!!

#324

Unread post by Akhtiar Wahid » Thu Oct 23, 2014 7:31 am

In addition:-
Killing spree of several innocent animals in the jungles of Africa
putting 100's of abdes at risk on railway station when the train was passing by on which he was boarded
Duping 100's of abdes property in Bhindi Bazaar and giving them some crappy " TRANSIT CAMP" in Mumbai.
Hand shaking with bohra air stewardess and then passing a fatwa of strict Qaumi Libaas and corner of house for all the lovely ladies!
Conspirator of Nass doctrine and dejection of the position of Mazoon (Deputy) and Mukasir (vice Deputy)
has gone against the sayings of his own father SMB (RA)
loves to be kissed on handass and legs every day!

Al Zulfiqar
Posts: 4618
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 5:01 am

Re: New Rules..!!

#325

Unread post by Al Zulfiqar » Sat Oct 25, 2014 10:09 pm

humanbeing,

have you reached surat as yet? i and quid johnny are awaiting your arrival with bated breath. hope you have arranged the 12 crores i had asked you for your redemption. the ashara days are the most ideal for throwing moolah at mufatlal as he is most receptive to being showered with bundles of notes whilst lecturing on imam hussain's trials and tribulations. it is a sure bet that your grevious sins will be pardoned while he is in a good 'haram ni kamai' mood.

after ashura you have not much chance as then the 'lord of the worlds' will be on a hunting expedition, both of wild animals and abdes.. instead of getting pardoned, you might be shot.

humanbeing
Posts: 2195
Joined: Sun Nov 20, 2011 2:30 am

Re: New Rules..!!

#326

Unread post by humanbeing » Sun Oct 26, 2014 8:56 am

Al Zulfiqar wrote:after ashura you have not much chance as then the 'lord of the worlds' will be on a hunting expedition, both of wild animals and abdes.. instead of getting pardoned, you might be shot.
I shall be dressed in red durbaani attire, stick on a long jungle beard and stuff some pillows for a pot belly. Now I would look like a rich fat abde sheikh with lots of moolah ! I will bow and bend make a rova-jevu-moo with my palms joined in worship and desire of noorani nazar towards me and then.. bang.. bang .. bang … akhiyon se goli maare !! shikaar-e-deedar !

Al Zulfiqar
Posts: 4618
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 5:01 am

Re: New Rules..!!

#327

Unread post by Al Zulfiqar » Tue Nov 25, 2014 4:50 pm

now that the moharram picnic and tamasha are over, the hectic opportunities to rake in huge amounts of moolah done, i am getting strong signals from deep throat.

it seems several new rules are waiting to be released and sanctioned as divine farmaans.

watch this space folks...

Dumbledore
Posts: 275
Joined: Mon Oct 27, 2014 12:30 am

Re: New Rules..!!

#328

Unread post by Dumbledore » Sat Nov 29, 2014 5:29 am

Al Zulfiqar wrote:now that the moharram picnic and tamasha are over, the hectic opportunities to rake in huge amounts of moolah done, i am getting strong signals from deep throat.

it seems several new rules are waiting to be released and sanctioned as divine farmaans.

watch this space folks...
AZ Bhai,
Salaam

Weekend par kuch dhamakedar post likh dalo... Deepthroat ne kya naye updates diye hai.

Akhtiar Wahid
Posts: 804
Joined: Mon Mar 08, 2010 9:22 am

Re: New Rules..!!

#329

Unread post by Akhtiar Wahid » Sat Nov 29, 2014 10:01 am

Before Bohras were known as Vepaari (trading) community
Now they are known as Topi and roti community!

SBM
Posts: 6507
Joined: Sun May 09, 2004 4:01 am

Re: New Rules..!!

#330

Unread post by SBM » Sat Nov 29, 2014 12:11 pm

^
Before they were known as Vepari Now they are known as BEKAARI