Help me I am too simple a guy....you knew there was signs of revolt ?
How come you have better source than GM
New Rules..!!
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Bohra spring
- Posts: 1377
- Joined: Mon Sep 17, 2012 8:37 am
Re: New Rules..!!
AZ are you serious...you really knew something was cooking...not guessing.
Help me I am too simple a guy....you knew there was signs of revolt ?
How come you have better source than GM
Help me I am too simple a guy....you knew there was signs of revolt ?
How come you have better source than GM
Re: New Rules..!!
AZ- the wait is killing me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Re: New Rules..!!
BUSHRA-BUSHRA-BUSHRA
Br AZ
Sydena Burhanuddin and Syedna Taher Saifuddin came to my dream last night and told me that they had done NUSS on you and that is why you know so much of what is going in Kothar, If you want I can come and testify on live brodcast if Admin of this forum can create live event.
I do have e jamaat card so I have better credentials then the HINDU as I am also Mumin and believed in our Moula;s Mojizas
Br AZ
Sydena Burhanuddin and Syedna Taher Saifuddin came to my dream last night and told me that they had done NUSS on you and that is why you know so much of what is going in Kothar, If you want I can come and testify on live brodcast if Admin of this forum can create live event.
I do have e jamaat card so I have better credentials then the HINDU as I am also Mumin and believed in our Moula;s Mojizas
Re: New Rules..!!
AZ please place a deep throat in Jannat and jahannam to keep track.
Re: New Rules..!!
Amara Anay Tamara, Sara Jahan Na, 53 Dai-ul-Mutlaq, Mumeneen Na Qibla Ga, Muslemeen Na Quran-e-Natiq, Naib-e-Nabee, Wasee Na Humasr, Imam Ne Kursee Na Baithnar, Janat Na Malik, Ghayb Na Jankar, Syedna Wa Maulana Abu Mard-e-Momin AL-ZULFIKAR Deen-u-din TUS ............ ZINDA BAD .......
Messaq Ne Baithak Qareeb Ma Thsay Anay Mumemeen Nay Fakhir Najwa Na Lefafa APWA Ma Aawsay ......
Bushra, Bushra, Bushra ..........
Messaq Ne Baithak Qareeb Ma Thsay Anay Mumemeen Nay Fakhir Najwa Na Lefafa APWA Ma Aawsay ......
Bushra, Bushra, Bushra ..........
Re: New Rules..!!
Oh by the way 51st and 52nd also came to my dreams and shouted at me coz I had not given Missaq to Al-Zulfikar Deen-u-deen ........... they were very angry and INSTRUCTED me to publish my dream ASAP ....... they threatened me if I didn't they will SEND Ali and Mohammad to my dream ........... 
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Al Zulfiqar
- Posts: 4618
- Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 5:01 am
Re: New Rules..!!
rule no. 56.
it is hereby officially decreed that a definite, irrevocable and confirmed nass (bandi) was performed on aali qadr muffadal saifuddin abul jafferus sadiq, tus, dai al ajal, al haddul anjab al asad, maulanal mannan fil momeneen wal haiwanat wal qaenat, rabbul alameen. this was further authenticated by the dreams received by hindus, parsees, catholics and sikhs, besides the dreams recorded by syedi mukasir saheb and qaid johar bhaisaheb ezzudin, in which nabi suleiman confirmed that even the entire animal, bird, insect and seaworld kingdoms had emphatically affirmed that AQSMS was the divinely appointed syedna on whom nassbandi was performed when his father was in a coma and could not speak.
rule 57.
as per latest bayans by dai muffadal, post the death of beloved syedna mb, it is now confirmed that the imamuzzaman is DEAD. syedna muffy has repeated with great fervour and conviction that his father is in the presence of the imamuzzaman and doing his khidmat in jannat. it is not known how the imam died, whether by natural causes, or due to sudden grief at the passing away of his beloved dai, whether he committed suicide as a final act of desperation or was assassinated by paid henchmen. but the fact remains that the imam is dead and has left behind no successor. thus this will be the last year when silatul imam and najwa for imamuzzamaan will be taken. it will be bounden on all momeneen to take misaq towards syedna muffadal when he will be installed as the new IMAM after syedna mb's chehlum. these are the most joyous tidings for which we have been waiting since last 800 years.
rule 58.
the new IMAM muffadal invites all bohras who have gone astray, viz. reformists, khozeima qutbuddin, alawi's, 48'ers, suleimani's, najrani's etc to return to his fold without any pre-conditions. all they will have to do is 'gale lagavu' of IMAM muffadal, followed by a full sashtaang namaskaar sajda, offer tagda salaam of 52 lakhs each and then basically just shut-up and fade into obscurity. this will help swell the ranks of momeneen, end adawat and reduce opposition to the IMAM's plans for total world domination.
rule 59.
it is hereby decreed by the IMAM in conjuction with the HPC, that no bohra's educational qualifications or certification will be recognised anymore. whether they are doctors, engineers, nuclear scientists, researchers, MBA's, economists whatever, unless they attend the jamea and pass a darajjatul akhera course exam from its hallowed and hoary portals. graduates of IIT, IIM, MIT, Harvard, Stanford, London School of Economics or any crappy other higher institutes of learning will be treated as jaahils, munafeqeen and kattar dawat na dushman, unless they cleanse their knowledge and souls from the jamea and leave with distinction in lisan ud dawat and can conduct vadhoo, istinja and najwa collection majlises, have a beard atleast 6" long and can sing ghanu jeevo at a decibel level of 120.
rule 60.
starting from mahe rajabul asab, no bohra will be allowed to participate in any majlis, miqaat or jaman or get any raza unless he/she produces proof that they have made the compulsory ziyarat to the haqiqi kaaba - raudat tahera - in mumbai. they will have to obtain records in triplicate that their ITS card was scanned at the roza and that they also visited saifee mahal for deedar and reverse sajda of IMAM muffadal. this decision is final, binding and irrevocable and can only be overturned at the divine intervention of the IMAM himself, who will 'examine' the errant momeen in private.
rule 61.
the IMAM will be crowned in mumbai after the chehlum of his father at an unprecedented glittering ceremony which has never before been seen on the face of this earth and in the annals of human civilisation. neither the pharaoh khufu nor tutunkhamen, neither shahenshah akbar, ashoka, charlemagne, julius ceasar, obama, queen elizabeth, charles and diana, none of them ever had a coronation or any other ceremony so grand and so poignant. they will all fade in comparison. the crown that IMAM muffadal will wear is modelled on the crown in the possession of the queen of england which has the kohinoor embedded in it. the queen had offered to loan it to muffadal, but he being the fiercely proud and independent soul that he is, refused. a fantastic new one is being prepared under joint collaboration between Tiffany's. Armani and Tribhovandas Bhimji Zaveri of Mumbai. it will be bejewelled with a total of 530 carats of flawless coloured diamonds, with the centre stone alone of 230 carats. it will also be adorned with sapphires, rare burmese rubies each of 200 carats, black tahitian pearls, 20 red aqeeqs of 80 carats each, green emeralds from china and japan, all of them to be set in purest platimum. the crown is expected to cost approx 25,000 crores, a sum which is a mere pittance for our beloved IMAM mufaddal.
rule 62.
invitations are being sent out to all the heads of state around the world, kings, queens, dictators, despots, tyrants, (generals included), + the descendants of stalin, trotsky, goebbels, pinochet, saddam hussein, gaddafi, as also all religious leaders such as the pope, dalai lama, aga khan, jagadguru shankaracharya, baba ramdev, asaram bapu, iran's ayatollahs, the grand mufti of mecca shaikh el baz, the rector of al azhar university, shahi imam bukhari etc. no political figures will be left out. the pm, president of india, sonia gandhi and her entire family, narendra modi and the thackeray's of course as very special VIP's, laloo prasad yadav, and not to forget dawood ibrahim, chota rajan, al capone's family, and selected members of the cosa nostra. security is going to be z level, with ground, sea and air cover. nuclear missiles are being readied and will be controlled from space. india has positioned laser devices on the moon to zap any would be detractors of IMAM mufaddal. if this ceremony is succesfully concluded, there is a strong possibility that muffadal imam will be elected as UN secy general.
aameen, su eni niraali shaan chhe!!
it is hereby officially decreed that a definite, irrevocable and confirmed nass (bandi) was performed on aali qadr muffadal saifuddin abul jafferus sadiq, tus, dai al ajal, al haddul anjab al asad, maulanal mannan fil momeneen wal haiwanat wal qaenat, rabbul alameen. this was further authenticated by the dreams received by hindus, parsees, catholics and sikhs, besides the dreams recorded by syedi mukasir saheb and qaid johar bhaisaheb ezzudin, in which nabi suleiman confirmed that even the entire animal, bird, insect and seaworld kingdoms had emphatically affirmed that AQSMS was the divinely appointed syedna on whom nassbandi was performed when his father was in a coma and could not speak.
rule 57.
as per latest bayans by dai muffadal, post the death of beloved syedna mb, it is now confirmed that the imamuzzaman is DEAD. syedna muffy has repeated with great fervour and conviction that his father is in the presence of the imamuzzaman and doing his khidmat in jannat. it is not known how the imam died, whether by natural causes, or due to sudden grief at the passing away of his beloved dai, whether he committed suicide as a final act of desperation or was assassinated by paid henchmen. but the fact remains that the imam is dead and has left behind no successor. thus this will be the last year when silatul imam and najwa for imamuzzamaan will be taken. it will be bounden on all momeneen to take misaq towards syedna muffadal when he will be installed as the new IMAM after syedna mb's chehlum. these are the most joyous tidings for which we have been waiting since last 800 years.
rule 58.
the new IMAM muffadal invites all bohras who have gone astray, viz. reformists, khozeima qutbuddin, alawi's, 48'ers, suleimani's, najrani's etc to return to his fold without any pre-conditions. all they will have to do is 'gale lagavu' of IMAM muffadal, followed by a full sashtaang namaskaar sajda, offer tagda salaam of 52 lakhs each and then basically just shut-up and fade into obscurity. this will help swell the ranks of momeneen, end adawat and reduce opposition to the IMAM's plans for total world domination.
rule 59.
it is hereby decreed by the IMAM in conjuction with the HPC, that no bohra's educational qualifications or certification will be recognised anymore. whether they are doctors, engineers, nuclear scientists, researchers, MBA's, economists whatever, unless they attend the jamea and pass a darajjatul akhera course exam from its hallowed and hoary portals. graduates of IIT, IIM, MIT, Harvard, Stanford, London School of Economics or any crappy other higher institutes of learning will be treated as jaahils, munafeqeen and kattar dawat na dushman, unless they cleanse their knowledge and souls from the jamea and leave with distinction in lisan ud dawat and can conduct vadhoo, istinja and najwa collection majlises, have a beard atleast 6" long and can sing ghanu jeevo at a decibel level of 120.
rule 60.
starting from mahe rajabul asab, no bohra will be allowed to participate in any majlis, miqaat or jaman or get any raza unless he/she produces proof that they have made the compulsory ziyarat to the haqiqi kaaba - raudat tahera - in mumbai. they will have to obtain records in triplicate that their ITS card was scanned at the roza and that they also visited saifee mahal for deedar and reverse sajda of IMAM muffadal. this decision is final, binding and irrevocable and can only be overturned at the divine intervention of the IMAM himself, who will 'examine' the errant momeen in private.
rule 61.
the IMAM will be crowned in mumbai after the chehlum of his father at an unprecedented glittering ceremony which has never before been seen on the face of this earth and in the annals of human civilisation. neither the pharaoh khufu nor tutunkhamen, neither shahenshah akbar, ashoka, charlemagne, julius ceasar, obama, queen elizabeth, charles and diana, none of them ever had a coronation or any other ceremony so grand and so poignant. they will all fade in comparison. the crown that IMAM muffadal will wear is modelled on the crown in the possession of the queen of england which has the kohinoor embedded in it. the queen had offered to loan it to muffadal, but he being the fiercely proud and independent soul that he is, refused. a fantastic new one is being prepared under joint collaboration between Tiffany's. Armani and Tribhovandas Bhimji Zaveri of Mumbai. it will be bejewelled with a total of 530 carats of flawless coloured diamonds, with the centre stone alone of 230 carats. it will also be adorned with sapphires, rare burmese rubies each of 200 carats, black tahitian pearls, 20 red aqeeqs of 80 carats each, green emeralds from china and japan, all of them to be set in purest platimum. the crown is expected to cost approx 25,000 crores, a sum which is a mere pittance for our beloved IMAM mufaddal.
rule 62.
invitations are being sent out to all the heads of state around the world, kings, queens, dictators, despots, tyrants, (generals included), + the descendants of stalin, trotsky, goebbels, pinochet, saddam hussein, gaddafi, as also all religious leaders such as the pope, dalai lama, aga khan, jagadguru shankaracharya, baba ramdev, asaram bapu, iran's ayatollahs, the grand mufti of mecca shaikh el baz, the rector of al azhar university, shahi imam bukhari etc. no political figures will be left out. the pm, president of india, sonia gandhi and her entire family, narendra modi and the thackeray's of course as very special VIP's, laloo prasad yadav, and not to forget dawood ibrahim, chota rajan, al capone's family, and selected members of the cosa nostra. security is going to be z level, with ground, sea and air cover. nuclear missiles are being readied and will be controlled from space. india has positioned laser devices on the moon to zap any would be detractors of IMAM mufaddal. if this ceremony is succesfully concluded, there is a strong possibility that muffadal imam will be elected as UN secy general.
aameen, su eni niraali shaan chhe!!
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Al Zulfiqar
- Posts: 4618
- Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 5:01 am
Re: New Rules..!!
many new rules for amtes are in the offing. they are being compiled and will be posted here shortly...
Re: New Rules..!!
Yippeee !!!! Bro AZ back at his hilarious best. Very refreshing presentation as usual. Lagey raho AZbhai !!!!!!!
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Al Zulfiqar
- Posts: 4618
- Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 5:01 am
Re: New Rules..!!
and where were you all this time bro. shapur? you too have come back after a long hiatus.
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Al Zulfiqar
- Posts: 4618
- Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 5:01 am
Re: New Rules..!!
my sincere apologies to my brethren on this forum. work, work and more work kept me away from this platform for revolution for a long while. but deep throat has been regularly supplying me information as is his wont. with his access inside the highest echelons of the divine royalty, deep throat moves easily and unhindered without arousing even the faintest whiff of suspicion. he penetrates the deepest sanctum sanctorum of the most holy, he is even known to have been invited on occasion into the shahi dai/imam's gusalkhana. deep throat is an expert in massage and has relieved many a sore neck and back, an obvious manifestation of 'uneasy lies the head that wears the crown' syndrome...
be as it may, deep throat has been supplying me with rich nuggets of information, nay rich morsels, dipped in liquid gold and honey. from what i gather, hundreds of new rules have been weighed, pondered upon, analysed and formulated. many await formal approval from the divine holy up high, who being too busy and weary with his world travels, has not had the time to bring them into law (farmaan) status, fevered and furrowed being his brow. many of these new rules are being hotly debated and disputed, obviously because KQ's secret support group within the inner circles is bent upon sabotaging some of these excellent rules, products of great minds, genuises nurtured within the hoary halls of the divine palace.
Rule no. 63.
henceforth, whatever the occasion, miqaat, majlis, nikah, khatna, valima etc, the mukam mubaraka has to be compulsorily decorated with.... NOT buntings, ribbons, colorful drapes, curtains or brocades, but mohabbat ni roti's. rotis of all shapes, sizes, thicknesses and textures, whether made of white atta, or wholewheat, or salty, sweet, fried or roasted as khakhra's, parathas, naans, kulcha's, tandoori roti's, rumali rotis etc, can be freely and imaginatively used for decorations. so instead of a line of buntings, hang up a whole line of mini rotis, maybe each one coloured by dipping into various dyes and hues, instead of wrapping colorful strips of cloth around pillars, drape those pillars with long, stretched roomali roti's, hang chapati's from the ceilings, soft chapati's molded into baskets in which electric bulbs can be placed dispersing mohabbat ni roshni, the bride's bethak decorated with soft uncooked naans, white and soft as the driven snow, the amilsaab's gaadi completely fashioned out of sculptured glue-infused dough, you get the drift..
at the entrance to the shaadi nu mandap, arches can be constructed from gleaming steel dabbas, swaying freely in the gentle breeze, creating divine music which only a discerning abde/amte ear can decipher. the reception stage should be made out of patla's and velans which will not only lend strength to the structure, but post wedding can be dismantled and given off as gifts to the assembled mumeneen, mumenaat and their naunihalo. the bride's ridha and jori should have bejewelled roti's and other variants of her choosing sewed on. it is recommended that abde momeen avoid going overboard in their josh and valvalo and not commit zalzalo by incorporating ghee dripping variants like gaakhar, aaloo parathas dripping with desi butter and so forth, this would but naturally soil the divine std's and ridahs of the faithful. it would be most foolish and inconsiderate to have ghee, butter and oily fillings splattering onto abde/amte heads. god forbid, what if it sullied the empress' (bensaab's) new clothes???!! OMG. astakferullah.
Rule no 64.
it is hereby decreed and promulgated into divine law, that all shitaabi's, mohalla ni majlises and ladies kheer poori gatherings should culminate with going-away gifts of patla, velan, a packet of chakki atta and 50 gms ghee per amte, i.e. a complete kit to produce 'love breads' in an instant. it is also strongly suggested that no amtes, whether 9 or 90, should venture out of their homes without this life saving survival kit. it is an abde's birth right that his shariq-e-hayat or mother, sister, daughter, should be able to provide him a fresh roti on demand. after all abde's are god's gifts to womanhood. it is quite easy for a docile amte to carry this kit concealed in her voluminous ridha and whisk it out in a jiffy like an AK-47 in times of emergency.
rule no. 65.
a natural extension of rules above was being formulated whereby henceforth all salaams to mufatlal, zaada's and zaadis, amils and other minor terrorists would no longer be done in any monetary currency, but in ...roti's. but this line of thought was considered too subversive and dangerous, what with the macabre spectre of tons and massive piles of roti's rotting in the dungeons below saifee palace, rats scampering all over and mufatlal wading knee deep through oceans of rat faeces, his skirts bunched up around his untanned chops..... coo! this idea was shot down as too radical in the promotion of 'ashiqi luqma' and was soon substituted with another.
so hear ye, hear ye! aapna aaqa and khuda mufatlal has announced that all roti production related equipments and paraphernalia shall become publicly traded commodities. the great bhagwan has invested massive sums from his 'halal ni kamai' and bought over all tiffin mfg companies, patla velan suppliers and shortly plans to acquire majority stakes in the biggest wheat milling companies in india and around the world. once controlling interest is acquired, shortages will be cunningly contrived and mufatlal will be laughing all the way to the bank, his ribs aching with uncontrollable mirth.
rule no. 66.
a high powered committee (HPC) of the dawate hadiyah (DEH) comprising of elite scholars of great erudition, have been empowered to study, analyse, classify and categorise all variations and cuisines of roti's, their methods of preparation, ingredients, techniques of production and methods of consumption and accompaniments - roti, paratha, sitaabi ni rotli, naan, kulcha, tandoori roti of the afghans, irani's, kashmiris & turkish, gaakhar and their sub-variants, stuffings, fillings and presentations. this HPC have been alloted 15 months from July '14 to complete this monumental task. once ready, the 54th daI-in-waiting - taha ibne mufatlal, wiLl submit it to jharkhand university for his PhD degree. this will be the first such ground breaking dissertation of its type in the entire history of human civilisation. for taha ibne m, this will be the first of many stupendous achievements which will flow from his borrowed genius. once the genus, sub-genus and phyllums of the various species of 'rotius amtecus mufatli' have been scientifically categorised according to their rarity, richness and value, then every abde will be expected to serve emperor mufatlal and his divine family and entourage accordingly. thus a stinkin rich abde will be automatically expected to serve gaakhar along with gosht to his god on earth for a nikah, butter paratha on misaq, garlic naan for khatna and so on. further instructions and clarifications are awaited..
since i have paucity of time, the other rules will be posted anon as time permits. let us part by reciting 'INNA LID DAI-E, WA INNA LID DAI E RAJEUN'.
be as it may, deep throat has been supplying me with rich nuggets of information, nay rich morsels, dipped in liquid gold and honey. from what i gather, hundreds of new rules have been weighed, pondered upon, analysed and formulated. many await formal approval from the divine holy up high, who being too busy and weary with his world travels, has not had the time to bring them into law (farmaan) status, fevered and furrowed being his brow. many of these new rules are being hotly debated and disputed, obviously because KQ's secret support group within the inner circles is bent upon sabotaging some of these excellent rules, products of great minds, genuises nurtured within the hoary halls of the divine palace.
Rule no. 63.
henceforth, whatever the occasion, miqaat, majlis, nikah, khatna, valima etc, the mukam mubaraka has to be compulsorily decorated with.... NOT buntings, ribbons, colorful drapes, curtains or brocades, but mohabbat ni roti's. rotis of all shapes, sizes, thicknesses and textures, whether made of white atta, or wholewheat, or salty, sweet, fried or roasted as khakhra's, parathas, naans, kulcha's, tandoori roti's, rumali rotis etc, can be freely and imaginatively used for decorations. so instead of a line of buntings, hang up a whole line of mini rotis, maybe each one coloured by dipping into various dyes and hues, instead of wrapping colorful strips of cloth around pillars, drape those pillars with long, stretched roomali roti's, hang chapati's from the ceilings, soft chapati's molded into baskets in which electric bulbs can be placed dispersing mohabbat ni roshni, the bride's bethak decorated with soft uncooked naans, white and soft as the driven snow, the amilsaab's gaadi completely fashioned out of sculptured glue-infused dough, you get the drift..
at the entrance to the shaadi nu mandap, arches can be constructed from gleaming steel dabbas, swaying freely in the gentle breeze, creating divine music which only a discerning abde/amte ear can decipher. the reception stage should be made out of patla's and velans which will not only lend strength to the structure, but post wedding can be dismantled and given off as gifts to the assembled mumeneen, mumenaat and their naunihalo. the bride's ridha and jori should have bejewelled roti's and other variants of her choosing sewed on. it is recommended that abde momeen avoid going overboard in their josh and valvalo and not commit zalzalo by incorporating ghee dripping variants like gaakhar, aaloo parathas dripping with desi butter and so forth, this would but naturally soil the divine std's and ridahs of the faithful. it would be most foolish and inconsiderate to have ghee, butter and oily fillings splattering onto abde/amte heads. god forbid, what if it sullied the empress' (bensaab's) new clothes???!! OMG. astakferullah.
Rule no 64.
it is hereby decreed and promulgated into divine law, that all shitaabi's, mohalla ni majlises and ladies kheer poori gatherings should culminate with going-away gifts of patla, velan, a packet of chakki atta and 50 gms ghee per amte, i.e. a complete kit to produce 'love breads' in an instant. it is also strongly suggested that no amtes, whether 9 or 90, should venture out of their homes without this life saving survival kit. it is an abde's birth right that his shariq-e-hayat or mother, sister, daughter, should be able to provide him a fresh roti on demand. after all abde's are god's gifts to womanhood. it is quite easy for a docile amte to carry this kit concealed in her voluminous ridha and whisk it out in a jiffy like an AK-47 in times of emergency.
rule no. 65.
a natural extension of rules above was being formulated whereby henceforth all salaams to mufatlal, zaada's and zaadis, amils and other minor terrorists would no longer be done in any monetary currency, but in ...roti's. but this line of thought was considered too subversive and dangerous, what with the macabre spectre of tons and massive piles of roti's rotting in the dungeons below saifee palace, rats scampering all over and mufatlal wading knee deep through oceans of rat faeces, his skirts bunched up around his untanned chops..... coo! this idea was shot down as too radical in the promotion of 'ashiqi luqma' and was soon substituted with another.
so hear ye, hear ye! aapna aaqa and khuda mufatlal has announced that all roti production related equipments and paraphernalia shall become publicly traded commodities. the great bhagwan has invested massive sums from his 'halal ni kamai' and bought over all tiffin mfg companies, patla velan suppliers and shortly plans to acquire majority stakes in the biggest wheat milling companies in india and around the world. once controlling interest is acquired, shortages will be cunningly contrived and mufatlal will be laughing all the way to the bank, his ribs aching with uncontrollable mirth.
rule no. 66.
a high powered committee (HPC) of the dawate hadiyah (DEH) comprising of elite scholars of great erudition, have been empowered to study, analyse, classify and categorise all variations and cuisines of roti's, their methods of preparation, ingredients, techniques of production and methods of consumption and accompaniments - roti, paratha, sitaabi ni rotli, naan, kulcha, tandoori roti of the afghans, irani's, kashmiris & turkish, gaakhar and their sub-variants, stuffings, fillings and presentations. this HPC have been alloted 15 months from July '14 to complete this monumental task. once ready, the 54th daI-in-waiting - taha ibne mufatlal, wiLl submit it to jharkhand university for his PhD degree. this will be the first such ground breaking dissertation of its type in the entire history of human civilisation. for taha ibne m, this will be the first of many stupendous achievements which will flow from his borrowed genius. once the genus, sub-genus and phyllums of the various species of 'rotius amtecus mufatli' have been scientifically categorised according to their rarity, richness and value, then every abde will be expected to serve emperor mufatlal and his divine family and entourage accordingly. thus a stinkin rich abde will be automatically expected to serve gaakhar along with gosht to his god on earth for a nikah, butter paratha on misaq, garlic naan for khatna and so on. further instructions and clarifications are awaited..
since i have paucity of time, the other rules will be posted anon as time permits. let us part by reciting 'INNA LID DAI-E, WA INNA LID DAI E RAJEUN'.
Re: New Rules..!!
I suppose enjoying all the Ziyaafats with SMS must be exhaustingmy sincere apologies to my brethren on this forum. work, work and more work kept me away from this platform for revolution for a long while
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fustrate_Bohra
- Posts: 678
- Joined: Mon Nov 25, 2013 6:46 am
Re: New Rules..!!
AZ bhai, must say you are too humerous 
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Al Zulfiqar
- Posts: 4618
- Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 5:01 am
Re: New Rules..!!
The humerus (/ˈhjuːmərəs/; ME from Latin humerus, umerus upper arm, shoulder; cf. Gothic ams shoulder, Greek ōmos. Plural: humeri) is a long bone in the arm or forelimb that runs from the shoulder to the elbow.fustrate_Bohra wrote:AZ bhai, must say you are too humerous
hu•mor•ousˈ(h)yo͞omərəs/
adjective
1. causing lighthearted laughter and amusement; comic. "a humorous and entertaining talk"
synonyms: amusing, funny, comic, comical, entertaining, diverting, witty, jocular, jocose, lighthearted, tongue-in-cheek, wry, facetious, laughable, risible;
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fustrate_Bohra
- Posts: 678
- Joined: Mon Nov 25, 2013 6:46 am
Re: New Rules..!!
OK..OK... your post is too HUMOROUS. Hope now its fine.Al Zulfiqar wrote:The humerus (/ˈhjuːmərəs/; ME from Latin humerus, umerus upper arm, shoulder; cf. Gothic ams shoulder, Greek ōmos. Plural: humeri) is a long bone in the arm or forelimb that runs from the shoulder to the elbow.fustrate_Bohra wrote:AZ bhai, must say you are too humerous
hu•mor•ousˈ(h)yo͞omərəs/
adjective
1. causing lighthearted laughter and amusement; comic. "a humorous and entertaining talk"
synonyms: amusing, funny, comic, comical, entertaining, diverting, witty, jocular, jocose, lighthearted, tongue-in-cheek, wry, facetious, laughable, risible;
Thanks for the meaning.
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ghulam muhammed
- Posts: 11653
- Joined: Tue Oct 07, 2008 5:34 pm
Re: New Rules..!!
Welcome back Bro Al Zulfiqar, we missed you a lot !
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Al Zulfiqar
- Posts: 4618
- Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 5:01 am
Re: New Rules..!!
it is your generosity of spirit and innate decency of many others like you on this forum which keeps dragging me back...thank you!ghulam muhammed wrote:Welcome back Bro Al Zulfiqar, we missed you a lot !
Re: New Rules..!!
AZ: This forum, probably a lone voice, is such that once one reads and contributes takes a hold on you. I would not compare it to analogies but suffice it say one feels like a calling in ones heart. There are great posts, save a few, and I have been enthused by the bandwidth of knowledge and information that I read here. Welcome back AZ!
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DisillusionedDB
- Posts: 380
- Joined: Mon Jul 07, 2014 7:20 am
Re: New Rules..!!
@Al Zulfiqar .. I am a fairly new entrant on this forum but have been regularly visiting for quite a few years. I have read many of your posts and found that your command over the English language and the written word is fantastic ... and the icing on it is your deadly sense of humour
Seems your kalam (pen) is your Zulfiqar. (Of course, it's not the kalam but the keyboard nowadays
)
Seems your kalam (pen) is your Zulfiqar. (Of course, it's not the kalam but the keyboard nowadays
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humanbeing
- Posts: 2195
- Joined: Sun Nov 20, 2011 2:30 am
Re: New Rules..!!
Ahh-my-God ! that was hilarious !! hilarious !! pet-pakri-ne-hasaavi-dida !
Even SMS camp will have a hearty laugh …. They are anyways laughing at how stupid their followers are. You can help the shehzada to work on his Roti-Thesis !
A grand welcome back to AZ !
Even SMS camp will have a hearty laugh …. They are anyways laughing at how stupid their followers are. You can help the shehzada to work on his Roti-Thesis !
A grand welcome back to AZ !
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humanbeing
- Posts: 2195
- Joined: Sun Nov 20, 2011 2:30 am
Re: New Rules..!!
With all the Roti-Mania .. is SMS camp planning to dole out any titles for Amtes for their contributions, especially in Roti-making? Such as Shiekhani, Mallani etc.
Does SMS accept rotis in Ziyafat … perhaps roti made of gold studded with gems. Or velan patla made out of gold gifted to his wife.
Does SMS accept rotis in Ziyafat … perhaps roti made of gold studded with gems. Or velan patla made out of gold gifted to his wife.
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Al Zulfiqar
- Posts: 4618
- Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 5:01 am
Re: New Rules..!!
thanks bros Mkenya, disillusioned and humanbeing for your kind comments.
yes, the avowed purpose of adoting the moniker 'Al Zulfiqar' is precisely as mentioned. it is the invincible sword wielded by Ali which sliced though opposing armies, struck terror into their hearts and stood for righteousness and unflinching courage. the very mention of its name inspired soldiers and devotees and strengthened their faith in allah and islam.
gifted by the prophet to ali in lieu of dowry for accepting the hand of his daughter fatema in marriage, the sword dhu' al feqar (the double pointed sword) became the legendary symbol of the struggle for islam, establishing the kingdom of allah, of truth and freedom from slavery, not just physical slavery, but slavery of mind of religion and barbaric customs.
the prophet was a man of limited means with very little material wealth. he was the one in fact who proposed to ali that he wished to give his daughter to him in marriage. ali received the sword with the greatest respect and humility and with it went on to win some of the greatest battles in islamic history.
it was reputed to be so heavy that only the strongest of men could lift it up. to actually wield it as a weapon was impossible for the majority, but ali carried it way over his head and so deftly swung it in combat, as if using a lightweight rapier, that it seemed that its weight mattered to him not a whit. it is said that either the zulfiqar gave him some divine strength or he was imbued with such divine strength and passion when he wielded it that he could literally slice through the thickest ranks of the enemy, swinging it around like a whip. made of a combination of brass and iron, when it glistened over the heads of his advancing army, as ali sat high in his saddle, even the giants among his enemies scattered in panic. ali and his zulfiqar became synonymous with each other.
in my own humble way, i attempt, most feebly, to emulate this symbol, to live upto its name. i hope and dream that every bohra, reformist or otherwise becomes the zulfiqar against the modern day tyrants, the yazids and muwaiyahs amongst us, ruling over us, misguiding us and looting us in the name of religion.
yes, the avowed purpose of adoting the moniker 'Al Zulfiqar' is precisely as mentioned. it is the invincible sword wielded by Ali which sliced though opposing armies, struck terror into their hearts and stood for righteousness and unflinching courage. the very mention of its name inspired soldiers and devotees and strengthened their faith in allah and islam.
gifted by the prophet to ali in lieu of dowry for accepting the hand of his daughter fatema in marriage, the sword dhu' al feqar (the double pointed sword) became the legendary symbol of the struggle for islam, establishing the kingdom of allah, of truth and freedom from slavery, not just physical slavery, but slavery of mind of religion and barbaric customs.
the prophet was a man of limited means with very little material wealth. he was the one in fact who proposed to ali that he wished to give his daughter to him in marriage. ali received the sword with the greatest respect and humility and with it went on to win some of the greatest battles in islamic history.
it was reputed to be so heavy that only the strongest of men could lift it up. to actually wield it as a weapon was impossible for the majority, but ali carried it way over his head and so deftly swung it in combat, as if using a lightweight rapier, that it seemed that its weight mattered to him not a whit. it is said that either the zulfiqar gave him some divine strength or he was imbued with such divine strength and passion when he wielded it that he could literally slice through the thickest ranks of the enemy, swinging it around like a whip. made of a combination of brass and iron, when it glistened over the heads of his advancing army, as ali sat high in his saddle, even the giants among his enemies scattered in panic. ali and his zulfiqar became synonymous with each other.
in my own humble way, i attempt, most feebly, to emulate this symbol, to live upto its name. i hope and dream that every bohra, reformist or otherwise becomes the zulfiqar against the modern day tyrants, the yazids and muwaiyahs amongst us, ruling over us, misguiding us and looting us in the name of religion.
Re: New Rules..!!
There is no concept of "dowry" in Islam that is paid by the family of bride to the groom. The islamic concept is "Mehr" which the groom has to pay to the bride.gifted by the prophet to ali in lieu of dowry for accepting the hand of his daughter fatema in marriage,
Re: New Rules..!!
AZ
Your rule # 55 was implemented by Kothar as per the following: Be careful what you wish for - Or krafty . . .
Your rule # 55 was implemented by Kothar as per the following: Be careful what you wish for - Or krafty . . .
rational_guy wrote:
just heard that kothar made a big deal with indian bank that will bring all bohris in india to open a current account with them. Then they will have a direct debit facility for
1. sabeel, 2. thaali 3. zakaat 4. vajebaat etc
any one who opens a bank account will be in economic slavery of the kothar. Forum readers you might consider warning your relatives.
Received a watsup msg :-
Our Community leaders have tied-up with Kotak Mahindra Bank, who are offering our community members an interest free, free of cost, maintenance-free Current account with Zero Quarterly account balance, yes, you read it right. No hidden charges, all standard banking feature such as Anywhere Banking, Internet & Mobile Banking, Debit Card, Cheque Book, etc.. etc... And what's more exciting is that the account will have a customized ID that is your ITS52 (eJamaat) ID prefixed with 53. Say your ITS ID is 21212121, then your Current account no. with the bank will be "5321212121".
The bank will not credit any interest to your account & will not entertain any services that has interest component associated with it.
How do you open such an account?
Simple, just TEXT an SMS "KDB" & send it to 5676788 & you'll receive a call back from the Bank representative in Mumbai. Your account will be opened with the nearest branch of your preference."
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Al Zulfiqar
- Posts: 4618
- Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 5:01 am
Re: New Rules..!!
brother alam,
i do not have to be careful at all and in fact wish and fervently pray that the oppression on abdes increases manifold to such an extent that only then they will rebel. btw, these rules are not a wish list or imaginative ideas dreamt up by me. they actually come from 'deep throat' who is embedded in the very flesh and blood of the kothar. he is actually a close and intimate relative of the haramkhor family.
i do not have to be careful at all and in fact wish and fervently pray that the oppression on abdes increases manifold to such an extent that only then they will rebel. btw, these rules are not a wish list or imaginative ideas dreamt up by me. they actually come from 'deep throat' who is embedded in the very flesh and blood of the kothar. he is actually a close and intimate relative of the haramkhor family.
alam wrote:AZ
Your rule # 55 was implemented by Kothar as per the following: Be careful what you wish for - Or krafty . . .
rational_guy wrote:
just heard that kothar made a big deal with indian bank that will bring all bohris in india to open a current account with them. Then they will have a direct debit facility for
1. sabeel, 2. thaali 3. zakaat 4. vajebaat etc
any one who opens a bank account will be in economic slavery of the kothar. Forum readers you might consider warning your relatives.
Received a watsup msg :-
Our Community leaders have tied-up with Kotak Mahindra Bank, who are offering our community members an interest free, free of cost, maintenance-free Current account with Zero Quarterly account balance, yes, you read it right. No hidden charges, all standard banking feature such as Anywhere Banking, Internet & Mobile Banking, Debit Card, Cheque Book, etc.. etc... And what's more exciting is that the account will have a customized ID that is your ITS52 (eJamaat) ID prefixed with 53. Say your ITS ID is 21212121, then your Current account no. with the bank will be "5321212121".
The bank will not credit any interest to your account & will not entertain any services that has interest component associated with it.
How do you open such an account?
Simple, just TEXT an SMS "KDB" & send it to 5676788 & you'll receive a call back from the Bank representative in Mumbai. Your account will be opened with the nearest branch of your preference."
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DisillusionedDB
- Posts: 380
- Joined: Mon Jul 07, 2014 7:20 am
Re: New Rules..!!
My sentiments exactly .. I did tell my wife one day that I hoped the oppression increases ... Only then will the blind followers see the light ... Only then we would see the light of a revolution ... Only then will the oppressors know (albeit too late) that they stretched the rubber band beyond its breaking point.Al Zulfiqar wrote:brother alam,
i do not have to be careful at all and in fact wish and fervently pray that the oppression on abdes increases manifold to such an extent that only then they will rebel. btw, these rules are not a wish list or imaginative ideas dreamt up by me. they actually come from 'deep throat' who is embedded in the very flesh and blood of the kothar. he is actually a close and intimate relative of the haramkhor family.
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DisillusionedDB
- Posts: 380
- Joined: Mon Jul 07, 2014 7:20 am
Re: New Rules..!!
And as far as the bank account (conveniently with direct debit facility) is concerned, methinks they are expecting too much. Apart from a few chamchas, no one in his right mind would open such an account. Or they would do so and maintain exactly what it says "ZERO balance"
Re: New Rules..!!
Maula, maula, Please speed up the oppression, make it worse, spread it like a cancer. Kothar needs more creative ideas and brains like Az's to make this happen.
Translation: expect more sweet talking, patronizing, kind, superficially generous programs, donations can be expected. There is will be a massive cover up for under-cover fundraising from innocent mumins.
Translation: expect more sweet talking, patronizing, kind, superficially generous programs, donations can be expected. There is will be a massive cover up for under-cover fundraising from innocent mumins.
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Al Zulfiqar
- Posts: 4618
- Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 5:01 am
Re: New Rules..!!
i propose that when asked by the tyrant amils and their corrupt leader - the god-on-earth dai - to pray 2 rakat namaz for the last 2 dai's and for the tulul umr of the present mufatlal, all bohras should instead pray 2 rakat namaz with the wordings mentioned so fervently by bro alam above viz. "Maula, maula, Please speed up the oppression, make it worse, spread it like a cancer".alam wrote:Maula, maula, Please speed up the oppression, make it worse, spread it like a cancer.
not only is that what the abde bohras deserve, it is also what your oppressors deserve. they own you body and soul alongwith your wife, parents, kids and all your material possessions. you say it in your misaq and you sing it in your madeh's that you will make jooti's out of your khaals for your slave masters. so whats stopping you abdes from praying for it as well?? in fact you should also add that may the divine mola hunt you down with high powered rifles in africa and spare the wild animals instead. give you the sharaf of shahadat so that you can join sts and smb in jannat and do maatam in their august presence..
su eni niraali shaan che! ena ehsan ane barakat beshumaar chhe!!!